


To Me (Us)

by morkzone



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alpha/Omega, Angst, Eventual Smut, M/M, Mpreg, Romance, The Unwanted Wife AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-04-18 17:10:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 74,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14217825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morkzone/pseuds/morkzone
Summary: All Jaebum wants from his marriage is a son.All Mark wants is to feel loved.A year and a half of unhappiness and discord had the latter wishing for divorce.





	1. To Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.
> 
> I am not sure what lead me into believing I should write this. But here we are now and I have started it, so let's go on with it.
> 
> A few disclaimers before we go right to the story:
> 
> This is an ABO AU, without all of the characteristics you usually find in that dynamic. First of all, only males get to either be an alpha, omega and beta. Females do not have the opportunity to be an alpha. Please don't hate on me. This is my way of working around my ideas for this story. Hahaha!
> 
> Male omegas can get pregnant.
> 
> And there will be no knotting.
> 
> Lastly, I changed Papa Tuan's name here because it's a blasphemy to portray him like I did here. He's such a sweetheart that I can't and won't do that to him.
> 
> That's all.
> 
> Have fun. Hopefully.

> “Cause _I want to be free,_  
>  _And I want to be free_  
>  _Even if everybody disappears,_  
>  _A lot of winds blowing stay by my side.”_  
>  -Lyn, Staying in The Wind
> 
>  

The heady smell of sex lingers in the air as Mark catches his breath from bliss, while his husband casually breathes in deep beside him on their shared king sized bed. He can still feel Jaebum’s mouth and teeth on his body, bruising his skin in reds and purples, marking him in ways he would never complain about but revel because it makes him feel utterly beautiful and wanted.

He stares at Jaebum’s profile, studying the planes of his handsome face and the way his eyebrow would usually pull together in a frown when he’s in deep thought. The strong desire to touch Jaebum and let his fingers run through his husband’s soft skin is always present in Mark’s head, but he stops before he could even move his hand. There were lines he couldn’t cross no matter how much his heart screams that it is his place and right to do so.

The sting of his husband’s rejection is still fresh on Mark’s mind like it happened yesterday and not eighteen months ago. The way Jaebum’s hands circled on his own thin wrist, onyx eyes staring at his brown ones, cold and void of any emotion as if to say, Don’t ever touch me, may have been etched deep into the recesses of his mind. That was the first and last time he ever attempted to feel Jaebum’s skin outside of them having sex. He learned to be contented on what he has, tidbits of time when Jaebum’s fucking him that Mark’s able to dig his nails on his husband’s back, letting his hand ran over the alpha’s whole body in an attempt to make up for all the times he couldn’t. Mark was about to give a sigh of happiness when Jaebum uttered his favorite five words that got the former almost choking in pain.

Give it to his husband to ruin such a romantic moment.

“Give me an alpha, Mark.”

Those were Jaebum’s mantra ever since their wedding night, the night his husband seemed to never remember because he was sloshed with alcohol, too drunk to even function and be gentle on his virgin and naive husband. Those five words didn’t cease to strike Mark’s heart every time they have sex. It was reminding Mark of a life he thought he’ll have with Jaebum but will never because the other man would never see him as his partner, but just a means to an end. A tone of desperation is hiding somewhere under his husband’s gruff voice, a plea for something Mark cannot comprehend. At first, he would mentally shrug it off and blame it on Jaebum’s seemingly tough exterior and social status.

 _Maybe he wants a son so bad because it will seem degrading that an alpha like him still wouldn’t have an heir when he’s already married for a year and a half_.

Mark, for almost two years of being married to Im Jaebum, kept making up excuses in his mind to appease the pain of knowing it was him that actually makes Jaebum despise this marriage.

However, as much love Mark has for Jaebum, the former is already at the end of the precipice, as his heart’s already too tired beating for a man that will never see him and love him back. He thought enduring it and making his husband see his worth will pay off, that eventually Jaebum, the sweet guy he met that night two years ago, will come back and sweep him off his feet… again.

He thought wrong.

That sweet man was never there in the first place, he’s just a fragment of his imagination, a ghost of the night he naively fell in love for the first time.

This is the real Im Jaebum he’s with, this is who he married, as sad of a fact that is.

“I’ll take a shower,” his husband says, peeling himself away from the mess of sheets and Mark’s body that’s now sitting and hugging himself since the other man would never touch him, unless it’ll end with him planting his seed on him.

Mark stares languidly at his toes, examining his nails like it’s more important than his awful married life he tries to keep intact with his already wounded hands.

Without a second glance at him, Jaebum enters the bathroom, instantaneously starting the showers and his nightly routine. Mark could imagine his husband scrubbing his body as fast as he could so Mark’s scent and whatever reminder of Mark has on his body will be stripped away. The idea of his husband’s disdain over him still hurts Mark and it also still makes him tear up and wallow in his timid shell. His own five words kept dancing at the tip of his tongue, teasing him with a freedom he suddenly yearns so much.

 _But the love you have for that alpha inside that bathroom keeps you from leaving_ , Mark hears the voice inside his head argues, making him shake his head in disagreement. He’s not in love with him anymore. Attracted to Jaebum? _Yes_. Definitely. His husband is undeniably beautiful and attractive. Save it from his cold treatment to Mark, Jaebum is charismatic and good at keeping people entertained since he can easily catch attention by just his strong features and charisma alone. But whatever feelings Mark felt for that man went down the drain, together with his scent Jaebum continues to scrub away from his body like a virus he’s scared to catch.

All he feels for him are resentment and hollowness that months of emotional pain have caused.

It wasn’t long when the sound of showers turning off resonates from the bathroom.

 _He’s done taking a shower_ , Mark thinks as he mentally counts the beat of time when Jaebum would drop the towel on the floor and the exact two minutes he uses to brush his teeth. Mark, realizing that his husband’s coming back in their room, prepared himself for bed. He quietly puts back his underwear, letting his fingers run through his sweat matted hair, putting some semblance of order on his appearance. He would usually use the bathroom after Jaebum but tonight Mark decided to make a difference—a resolution for himself. He has finally decided that it’s about time his five words be spoken and heard. What could happen that’s worse than he’s already in anyway? Nothing’s going to hurt him more because he’s already hurting.

Jaebum materializes from the bathroom a heartbeat later, only clad in his boxer shorts and nothing more.

Mark’s breath catches, the beauty of his husband momentarily blindsiding him from what he intended to do, making him forget of the five words he rehearsed so many times in his head. Jaebum gives him a look of disinterest as he walks past him.

“You’re not seriously sleeping like that, are you? At least brush your teeth.”

And that was enough for Mark’s stupor to break, putting him back into the motions and reminding him of his intentions.

_Enough of him bossing me around._

“I want… I want a divorce, Jaebum.”

He can feel his husband tensing, broad shoulders going rigid as he turns back on Mark’s frail body, who’s standing not too far from their bed. With his expression menacingly sarcastic, Jaebum aimed for the kill, “But I thought you love me, Mark?”

Mark’s bravado momentarily faltered, causing his steely gaze to shift slightly towards the floor and away from Jaebum’s dark orbs.

 _I can do this_ , he tells himself, breathing in and out to calm his nerves.

Once he has collected his emotions, he lifts his eyes back again, a renewed vigor running through his veins.  
“Not anymore,” he murmurs, hoping he sounds stronger than he actually feels.

A chuckle, so uncharacteristic, comes out of Jaebum’s lips. “Oh? What happened to, 'I’ll love you forever, Jaebum?'”

“Things change. Not everything’s set in stone.”

The air of disinterest still masks the alpha’s face but Mark knew better, his husband’s tensed jaw’s enough reason for him to keep alert.

“You look no different to me,” Jaebum notes, eyes scanning Mark’s body, making the hairs on his arms stand up on ends. “You’re still that same spoiled brat I married, who fancied himself in love with me that he used his father’s money to marry me.”

Mark bites his lip to keep the anguish of hurt within his being, as his husband continues to cut his heart with words so hurtful the omega would have chosen if Jaebum just punches him.

“And you know what’s so ironic? You’re still the same Mark who can’t even give me at least some consolation in this sham of a marriage. All I’m asking is a son, and you couldn’t even give me that.”

Mark blinks. “More reason for a divorce, don’t you think?”

“No, Mark,” Jaebum seethes, body now close to him, covering his thin frame, suffocating him. “We’re both going to endure this atrocious marriage until you have given me what I want. Through thick and thin, right?”

“I can’t do this anymore,” Mark whispers, voice wet with unshed tears. “Let me go.”

“Stop playing the victim, it doesn’t suit you. Besides, isn’t this what you want? You made your bed, now both of us will have to lie in it.”

Mark swallows the sobs threatening to escape his lips. “You couldn’t stop me from divorcing you. I have made up my mind and I will do it whether you approve or not!”

Jaebum leers, hands clapping in mirthless glee at Mark’s feigned bravado.

“Oh yeah? How about I retract that loan your cousin asked from me? With the baby on the way, I don’t think they’ll be able to get by.”

Mark did not expect that. Jaebum has loaned his cousin Jackson and his husband Jinyoung a start-up capital for their business, a café bookshop somewhere in downtown L.A., a dream his friend has always been vocal about since they were in college. Mark assumed Jaebum did it out of sheer generosity, a helping hand since Jinyoung and Jackson’s the only family members Mark’s close with. But it looked like Jaebum doesn’t do anything out of sheer generosity. Everything should equate to money or blackmail material, should the need arises.

Now his need for leverage towards Mark arises and Mark’s in a serious disadvantage. Jaebum knows Jackson’s Mark’s kryptonite.

“Jackson doesn’t have anything to do with this! Why do you have to put him in between our problems?”

“I would do anything to keep you in this same hell you have put me through!”

“Fine! Do what you want, I will lend my cousin my own money and not let him rely on you ever again.”

“Own money? Mark you don’t have your own money. You have a rich father and I’m sure he wouldn’t let you taint your family’s name further with a messy divorce. Besides, in case you are forgetting, you’re an omega. You don’t get to have inheritance, I bought that for you.”

“I can’t believe you’ll stoop this low!”

Jaebum chuckles, “I’m capable of so many things, babe. And now that you know that, this will be the last time I will hear this talk of divorce. Do you understand, Mark?”

Mark sensing that it’s pointless to argue with the other man, decides to do the most childish thing he could think of—walk out of the room and let Jaebum fume in anger. He says he wants to stay married, then he has to also realize that Mark’s also capable of grating his nerves.

 _An eye for an eye_ … Mark thinks as he splatters paint on his studio’s empty walls.

~

>   
>  _“Hear you falling and lonely, cry out_  
>  _Will you fix me up? Will you show me hope?_  
>  _The end of the day, I’m helpless_  
>  _Can you keep me close? Can you love me most?”_  
>  -Vancouver Sleep Clinic, Someone To Stay

  
The next morning was an awkward event between the two of them. Their usual breakfast has always been silent, the only sound surrounding them were the whirling of the coffee maker as it continues to brew and Jaebum’s newspaper as he flips through them languidly. But that morning is much more different as the elephant in the room kept howling in the midst of them, or at least in Mark’s mind since Jaebum doesn’t look affected by it at all. His husband looks calm and collected, all emotions stowed away for anyone to see—especially Mark.

His husband has always been beautiful, an exotic face that captured Mark’s eyes from the moment they met two years ago. It was a party his father orchestrated to show how much money and power they have in the community. Mark’s father has always been a rich megalomaniac thirsty for attention and fame, it must have been an alpha thing or maybe it had been ingrained to him since he have always believed everything’s within his reach.

 _Your typical entitled son of a bitch_.

So when the news broke out that his one and only son was an _omega_ … Richard Tuan flipped.

He detached himself away from Mark, started hating on Mark’s mother too, which in turn made Mark’s mother hate him too. Mark’s parents started arguing, pointing fingers of whose fault it was that there was suddenly an omega amongst the Tuans.

 _The Tuan men have always been alphas! My son should have been an alpha!_ His father’s voice kept ringing in his ear, his hate for Mark palpable each time he looks at him.

Mark grew from that environment, he’s used to the feeling of being unloved and unwanted, that it wasn’t a new thing to live in a household where only silence comforts him for the whole day.

However, there were times Mark felt loved and wanted—times spent when he’s with his cousin Jackson and best friend Jinyoung. The two of them bringing out a strange feeling of camaraderie from Mark.

And maybe, Mark must have also felt wanted that first night he met Jaebum; that night someone outside of his family has finally listened to his ideas, encouraged him to talk when in reality he would rather stay at the sidelines and be in his timid shell.

Jaebum finally showed Mark he’s worth it.

But then they got married and everything turned to dust.

Mark feeling suddenly queasy from the memories he had that night, starts cleaning up his plates and heads to the sink.

“You need to eat more. You’re getting too thin.”

A gasp falls out of his mouth, the grip on the plate he’s holding almost slipping from shock. To say he was startled at Jaebum’s sudden concern for his welfare is an understatement. His husband never comments on his body outside of sex, and never this way.  
It’s almost… _tender_.

“I… I’m okay. I’m not hungry,” he whispers, turning back in washing his plate and glass.

“I don’t want to deal with you getting sick. At least eat something even when you’re not hungry.”

“I eat enough,” Mark replies, glancing at Jaebum’s direction, timid eyes immediately diverting away from the alpha’s sharp ones. Mark thought his husband would say more, argue with him and show deeper concern for him but the fluke of Jaebum’s sudden care dissipates as the alpha merely shrugged his shoulders and walks out of the kitchen without sparing him another glance. Mark realizing it’s just a fleeting moment, takes a deep sigh and continued with the chores at hand.

Mark doesn’t need to do the dishes—like every rich family in their neighborhood, the Ims also have their own group of staff assigned to maintain the cleanliness and order of the household. However, Mark chooses to do small, mundane things by himself. Learning to pick up after himself growing up, Mark decides that it’s the least he could do to lessen the burden of the people around him, making him a darling in the eyes of the staff.

Jaebum once accused him of playing house; being so naïve into thinking that it’ll change the way Jaebum thinks of him just because he could be domesticated. Mark swallowed all of his arguments and let it slide, but now that he’s suddenly remembering the little hurtful things Jaebum said to him, the strong pull of retaliation tries to come out of his chest.

Mark immediately trudges upstairs, leaving the remaining dishes on the sink unwashed. He changes from sweats and tank top to denim and shirt, pulling on his hoodie to keep warm from the autumn chills that would get at him when he goes outside.

It was uncharacteristic for him to leave the house on a Saturday morning but Mark has already decided that enough is enough. If his husband wouldn’t let him out of this marriage, then he’ll at least do what he want.

“I’m heading out!” he yells out as he walks past Jaebum sitting in the living room, with his laptop perched on the coffee table, probably to get some work done.

His husband’s head jerks up to look at him while something in his eyes flashes that’s new for Mark.

“Where…”

“Don’t wait for me. Bye!” Mark dashes out before Jaebum could utter another syllable, snatching the car keys hanging from their key holders before finally heading out of the front door. Mark has already revved up the car when Jaebum has emerged out of the front porch. With a cheery little wave, he reversed out of the parking space and left his husband looking appalled and pissed off.

Mark felt invigorated, the small victory letting him feel lightheaded and happy. He knows there will be hell to pay when he has to go back home later, but that’s for another time. Right now, he’ll just enjoy his new found freedom.

He doesn’t exactly know where to go, as this escapade was more of an impulse rather than a well planned outing. He scratches off Jackson and Jinyoung’s place since that would be where Jaebum would first look. His husband knows that he doesn’t have a wide circle of friends, limited only to the two married men. As much as he wants to see Jinyoung and see how his pregnancy is going, he has to let the chance pass… _for now._

The sound of his phone blowing off seconds ago did not surprise Mark, as he kind of expected Jaebum to use the device to boss him around. Feeling braver with the rush of adrenaline, Mark turns it off and chucks it inside his glove compartment.

He smiles wider when the silence envelops him.

~

> _“Can you explain to me?_  
>  _What has become of us?_  
>  _With words released, we can never take them back._  
>  _For all that we’re worth now._  
>  _Not even pleading can save us.”_  
>  -The Fight is Over, Urbandub

Mark chose to go to the museum downtown, a place he discovered online when he was trying to find paintings and artworks for inspiration. He has always wanted to go but it’s deemed out of character for someone with his personality to go to places where Jaebum’s not concerned, so he stalled himself. Now that he’s here, seeing the different artworks made, some hanging on the wall, some standing in the middle of the room, Mark felt like his heart’s going to burst out of his chest. The kaleidoscope of brilliance making him slightly dizzy and euphoric. The messages he could read written under the strokes of colors had him tearing up at some point.

He always wanted to see art like these, raw and explicit with feelings.

It was about 8pm when Mark was politely tapped on his shoulder by the museum staff and told that he has to go because they’re closing the place. Mark feeling like he’s been catatonic for the last hour from staring at a painting, nods his head and apologized for the inconvenience he must have caused. The staff just shakes her head and lead Mark outside the building. With a heavy heart and still too empty stomach, Mark walks out of the doors and drives back to his house in the rich part of L.A.

It was as Mark was turning a curve towards the huge monster of a house he shares with Jaebum that he realized the predicament he has to face when he finally arrives. He knows his husband has always been calm and collected, anger barely showing by the clench of his jaw but this is the first time Mark pulled a stunt like this and he’s not sure how Jaebum will react to it.

Turning around the bend, Mark notices that the house is surprisingly well lit, looking magnificent in the midst of trees planted around it. He immediately sees Jaebum’s looming figure, leaning at their front door, probably waiting for him.

Mark feels his legs trembling from nervousness as he hops outside of the car and walks towards the front door. He finds every will in his body not to trip or he’ll turn into an embarrassing mess and he doesn’t want that. Not when he’s trying to show his husband that he’s unaffected by him. Just when he’s a few feet away from the seething alpha, Mark was immediately pulled inside the house, making him yelp from fear. Jaebum swiftly shuts the door and backed up Mark against it. His eyes and hands start to rake up and down Mark’s body, cataloguing every part and making sure he’s whole and nothing’s broken. After he deemed Mark perfectly fine, Jaebum then meets Mark’s eyes full on.

Jaebum’s eyes, as Mark has very little time to look into, are beautiful. With long lashes and two distinct moles perfectly placed on his left eyelid, he looks almost cat-like. It is one of his husband features that drawn Mark close to him. There was just something in Jaebum’s eyes. And right now those said eyes are showing a different emotion Mark’s not used to. He flinches when Jaebum starts to cup his cheek and moves close to his neck to breathe him in. The act is so unexpectedly intimate that Mark feels his desire burning deep within his stomach, furling slowly into an erection he won’t be able to hide for long.

Mark tilts his head towards Jaebum’s mouth, hoping the alpha would allow him to be kissed, to be touched by those thin lips he must have dreamt so many times meeting his own. Their faces are centimeters apart, their lips barely touching when Jaebum releases his hold on him, leaving Mark sliding down the floor from shock, lungs gasping for air he didn’t know he was holding.

“Do not pull a stunt like this again, Mark. Or I swear I will make you regret it.”

Mark looks up at Jaebum, head now realizing how dumb he must have looked kneeling at Jaebum’s feet.

“Where have you been?” is his husband’s question as he gets back on his bearing and stands up on his wobbly feet. Mark defiantly stares back at the other man and refuses to answer. “I am asking you a question, the least you could do is answer.”

“I refuse to be walked around like this Jaebum. I have wants and needs too! It’s about time you show me some respect—”

“Respect? I have no respect left for a person like you. Not even as a potential father of my child because obviously you can’t even do it right. You can’t even keep a child!”

Mark, by then, saw red. It is like a dam opened from his chest and he resorted to violence, punching and thrashing against Jaebum’s huge frame that’s now covering his tiny body. Mark yells in contempt, the words of hate he’s shouting at the top of his lungs; years of frustration and hurt manifesting from Jaebum’s words. His husband tries to dodge his punches, earning him bruised arms and bite marks on his shoulder. When Mark finally comes back to himself, he is out of breath, nails broken and arms hurting from hitting his husband blindly. Jaebum continues to make soothing sounds above his ear, letting Mark get back to his bearings while also restraining him from hurting himself further.

“Sorry,” Jaebum seems to whisper under his breath, so soft Mark wouldn’t have believed it if he hasn’t spoken again. “I didn’t really mean that, Mark. Sorry.” Mark froze from his husband’s sudden change of tone as the usual backhand insult’s no longer evident in his voice.

_Did he actually say he’s sorry? That’s a first._

Mark pushes his body away from Jaebum’s hold, rubbing his aching wrist and knuckles to ease away the sting he could feel on his broken skin. Jaebum, however, had worse; there is a huge angry gash on his neck, a bruising jaw and bite marks littering his arms and shoulder. One would say Mark won this battle by looks of disarray he’s inflicted on the alpha.

But Mark knows he can never win against Jaebum.

Not when Jaebum continues to hurt him using his heart.

“Are you okay?” the said man asks, grabbing Mark’s aching hand in a tender manner that the latter’s never accustomed to. Mark snatches his hand away from Jaebum, totally mistrusting his change of demeanor into thinking it was another one of his husband’s supposed generosity. If he’s going to use this feigned concern against him in the future, then Mark doesn’t need it. Jaebum can suck it off, for all her cares.

Feeling slightly lightheaded, Mark pushes his way towards the staircase, leaving Jaebum behind without another glance.

“I really didn’t mean what I said. I am really sorry,” were Jaebum’s last words before Mark completely left him and headed towards one of the guest bedrooms.

Mark knew Jaebum’s lying. _He meant it._ He blames him for the miscarriage he had five months early into his pregnancy. And now the fact that he wasn’t able to conceive after that misfortune, cemented Jaebum’s low opinion of him and his capabilities. Married to the man he clearly doesn’t love and also the one who couldn’t give him a son… Jaebum has every arsenal against Mark.

Mark has always wanted to bear a child, be a father and nurture a kid while being supported by a loving husband. Maybe it was his nature as an omega or maybe it was just his personality that made him dream of that kind of life but the fact still lies deep within him, Mark is made to be a father. But somehow, being a father to Jaebum’s child feels like slicing his heart in half and letting it be doused in flames.

Receiving the news he was pregnant made Mark more terrified than happy. The constant fear of having to deal with a child from a man who obviously do not love him had Mark wishing the pregnancy wasn’t true. He would constantly worry, crying himself to sleep until that night he finally lost the child came. It was confusing, how relief washes over him together with despair. He always wanted a child but why wouldn’t he feel happy having Jaebum’s? He kept his feelings locked up in his chest, only letting Jaebum see him cry once after the doctor said he lost their potential first born— _a son_. He didn’t tell it to anybody, not even Jackson or Jinyoung, in fear that they would see how repulsive Mark’s attitude was about the baby. Only the two of them knew about it—Jaebum and Mark, who both mourned the baby’s passing separately, never talking about it. But the latter could feel it, he can sense it with the way Jaebum looks at him, how he silently blames him from the misfortunes of their son. Mark feels Jaebum disgust towards him and it only makes the pain unbearable each day.

Mark begrudgingly takes a quick shower to cleanse away the heavy emotions swirling in his chest, and his eyes instantly close shut as soon as he hits the sheets, obviously too shaken by the night’s events.

It was around midnight when a knock (read: banging) on his door brings him back to reality.

“Mark! Open the door!” he could hear his husband yells outside his chosen guest bedroom. Slightly confused and disoriented, the omega trudges towards the door and opens it.

A fuming Jaebum welcomes him, eyes slightly frantic as he breathes in deep. He rakes Mark’s body up and down, the motion now becoming a common action Jaebum does when he sees him again.

“What are you doing here?”

“I moved into this room,” Mark replies dryly, stating an obvious fact that he’s sure grates on Jaebum’s nerves.

“I can see that, care to enlighten me why?” he asks, gritting his teeth in an attempt to look more composed.

Mark shrugs his shoulders, eyes sad as he lets it meet the other man. “I will be a hypocrite if I stay in that room with you. Just last night I told you I want a divorce. I can’t sleep with you again and pretend it never happened. I really think it’s better this way, Jaebum.”

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“No,” Mark cuts off. “I’m actually making sense for the first time since we got married.”

“My _husband_ ,” Jaebum spats, the word sounds so foreign coming from his mouth. “sleeps with me.”

“But you can’t force me to have sex with you. I refuse to have intimate relationship with you anymore.”

Jaebum actually looks appalled. “You would deny me that basic marital right?”

“Yes.” Jaebum’s eyes narrowed and he steps forward towards Mark, caging his small frame.

“Who’s to stop me from taking what is rightfully mine?” he asks, eyes raking the omega’s body clad only in a thin shirt and boxers. He feels suddenly conscious of his almost naked state that Mark steps back and places enough distance from Jaebum’s looming figure.

“I do not belong to you.”

“I paid a huge amount of money for you, I think that’s enough ownership, don’t you think?”

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about. What money?”

Jaebum chuckles softly, mocking Mark in his confusion.

“And you’re still acting ignorant from your selfish decisions. Look, this argument is not important. You will go back to our room and sleep with me!”

“You can’t force me into doing something I do not want. That will be against my will and you know what that’s called.”

“Are you accusing me of something so despicable? I have never forced you into something you do not like, Mark! All the times I touched you were under your consent. Do not put me under the same category as you and your father,” Jaebum snaps, disgust evident on his face.

Mark’s heart clenches with the mention of his father and how Jaebum always throws him all contempt he has on Richard Tuan. It’s like Mark will forever be an extension of whatever hate Jaebum has on his father and that realization is enough for him to see that the alpha will never see him differently; whatever opinion he has on Mark will stay the same, hence, this staying together is pointless.

_There will never be a future of us together._

Mark clears his throat and swallows, hoping the painful lump he can feel on his throat will go away. He glances at Jaebum once more, steely gaze determined and decided.

“Last night was the very last time I will let you touch me. I am done with this marriage, Jaebum. You may be the alpha between us, but please also look at me as a decent human being who can decide for myself and this is my decision; let’s have a divorce.” With that, Mark pushes his husband lightly towards the hallway, closing the door shut and locking it for good measure.

The other man did not knock or demand Mark to talk to him again after that.

Mark felt emptier as he goes back to sleep.

~

> _“On my own castaway_  
>  _Trapped and caught in between_  
>  _Darkened skies, tidal waves_  
>  _But I am moving on”_  
>  -Franco, Castaway

  
The tension is thicker the next morning during breakfast, when both of them sat at the gardens to eat. Jaebum insisted they still eat meals together despite the air of indifference he always graces Mark during such occasions. Even though Jaebum’s hiding behind his usual mask of icy exterior, Mark can feel his fury lying beneath his clenched jaw and rigid shoulders. It was after a tensed hour when he decides to speak and interrogate Mark’s excursion the day before.

“Where were you yesterday?” he asks fiercely, glaring at Mark from across the table. The omega revels in his husband pissed off face and stayed quiet.

“Answer me. Goddamnit!”

“Why do you even care, Jaebum?” Mark asks back, voice incredulous and quite amused. “When you go out, I don’t ask you where you’ve been. Let’s not have double standards, please.”

“This is not about me.”

“Oh? Really? Well, then let’s make this about you. Let’s talk about how you go around and parade different people in my face like I’m supposed to stay meek and let you have extramarital affairs despite being married to me,” Mark fights back, eyes shimmering with hurt from all the infidelity he has to deal since they got married.

“I don’t feel married!” Jaebum yells, sounding almost defensive and there’s a pang of hurt throbbing softly in Mark’s chest.

“You don’t?” Mark retorts back, feeling suddenly furious. “Well, then I don’t feel married either. Maybe I am ready to be outrageous. Maybe I am ready for extramarital affairs too!”

Jaebum stands from his seat and pinned Mark with a glare.

“This better not be your way of telling me you’re having an affair.”

“So what? What will you do? Will you hurt me? I am already hurting, Jaebum, if that isn’t obvious enough to you. Nothing you do will make my life miserable because I’m already in hell!”

“What’s his name?” Jaebum asks calmly, but his voice underlies a warning which Mark ignored.

“It’s none of your business what I do. Since you’re so adamant in staying married, then please realize that I will no longer be your doormat. You don’t care about what I do with my life before, don’t stop on my account and keep on staying away from my affairs like you always do!”

“I will kill him,” Jaebum grits out, tone eerily calm for someone declaring murder. “End whatever relationship you have with that asshole and I will let this slide.”

“Why are you being like this, Jaebum? We can just end this right here, right now, you know? I asked for a divorce because that’s the only resolution both of us have left, but you keep saying no. I agree that we stay married but lead separate lives, and you throw a fit like this. You’re confusing me,” Mark says, eyes filled with anguish and confusion.

“You will get your divorce, once I get my son,” Jaebum replies ruthlessly, ending the conversation with the flick of his hand.

“What kind of sick logic is that?” Mark protested, looking sick to his stomach. “Why would want a son with someone you despise?”

A strange look crosses his husband’s face as he stares back at Mark before he shakes his head in disbelief.

“You really don’t know, do you?” he asks.

Mark looks even more confused. “Know what?”

“Why did you marry me?” Jaebum chooses to answer, ignoring the pertinent question Mark just asked.

He feels utterly lost; the question throwing him off because Jaebum knows the answer to it. He has made it clear—Mark has always been obvious to his feelings. Like a crystal clear water, no one could deny his intention when he married the other man. And being asked about it now, made him want to hit the alpha’s face.

_How can he be so cruel?_

“Why do you ask?” Mark asks back, recently learning that Jaebum hates it when he answers his questions with another question.

“Humor me,” he prompts, earning him a glare and a huff from Mark. The latter sighs deeply.

“Why do you insist on doing this? You already know the answer to that question. Stop rubbing it into my face.” Mark stands from his seat, swaying a bit from the force of doing it abruptly. He feels shaky and nauseous being around Jaebum, and right now all he wants is to be away from him.

“Mark?”

Mark shrugs Jaebum hand before it could touch his skin. “I’m fine. I will go upstairs now. Please excuse me.”

“You really loved me, do you?” Jaebum breathes in astonishment, voice crushing Mark’s fragile heart to pieces.

“Whatever feelings I had for you a year and a half ago no longer have bearing on my decision. I still want to get a divorce. Nothing you will do can make me stay, Jaebum—”

“Yes. I’m beginning to realize that,” Jaebum says, nodding his head in agreement and surprising Mark in the process. Seeing that there’s nothing left to be said, the omega proceeds to his new bedroom and hide for the whole afternoon.

Mark is a ball of tensed energy when he went upstairs.  
His head starts throbbing painfully each time he goes back into his interactions with Jaebum the past few days. Mark feels like he has been hit by a truck by the numerous times he had been snubbed by his husband. The only thing making him feel quite better is the fact that Jaebum seemed to realize Mark’s position in their marriage and that he might be in the point of considering his proposition.

Feeling a strong sense of need to talk to someone, Mark immediately looks for his phone to contact Jinyoung or Jackson. Jinyoung’s wise words and Jackson’s happy-go-lucky attitude can make him feel better. He stops midway though when he realized that his phone is still in his car. He’s about to give up when he remembered their home phone installed in his room.

 _This will do._ He thinks as he picks up the receiver and puts it against his ear. Mark got taken aback when he hears it already ringing. Realizing that Jaebum might be on the extension downstairs, Mark decides to call his cousin later and hang up, but before he could put the receiver back on its cradle, the ringing stops and Mark heard the voice of his father on the other line.

“Richard Tuan.”

To say he was shocked do not cover what he actual feels. Mark knows that his father and Jaebum do not get along together, as their constant bickering and sarcastic comments are enough proof of their disdain for each other. It was a real surprise that Jaebum seeks his father first—and willingly so.

“Your son wants a divorce,” is Jaebum’s opening onslaught, sounding his usual bored and disinterested self. Mark tightens his hold on the phone, forgoing the idea of even giving respect for both men’s privacy.

“You know that it is not possible, _son_ ,” Mark’s father says, surprising him with the term of endearment he seemed to use to annoy the other man.

“Yes, I know,” Jaebum replies dryly. “However, your son seemed to be oblivious about it. You didn’t tell him about our agreement?”

 _Agreement_? Mark asks in his head, forehead scrunching up in confusion.

“Why would I tell that brat about it? Then the plan to get you two to marry would not have pulled through. No. No. I wouldn’t risk that. Besides, that fool fancied himself in love with you,” His father laughs ruthlessly on the other line, making Mark nauseous and sick to his stomach.

“I thought he knew. I thought he openly agreed into selling himself to be part of your atrocious deal.”

Richard snorts on the other line. “Would that fact have changed your mind into marrying my naïve son?”

Mark can feel his husband bristling in irritation by the way he sighed. “So he has no idea with our terms of agreement?”

“I thought he’ll figure out about it from you eventually…”

“Are you telling me he married me into thinking I loved him back?” Jaebum asks incredulously, humiliating Mark with his surprise.

“Yes,” Richard replies, the phantom of his shrug evident in his voice.

“You just let him believed that?”

“Yes, and what is wrong with that? I know it sounds ridiculous but it played well into our plans, didn’t it? Besides, I think even without that idea placed into my foolish son, he would have thrown himself at you once the opportunity permits it. Look at where he is now.”

“There is no us here, Richard. Don’t put me under the same sadistic scheme you played here.”

“Oh please, Jaebum. Do not be a hypocrite. Between the two of us, it’s you who gained more from this bargain. I still have yet to receive mine. And even without knowing Mark’s expectations in this marriage, there is no difference on the eventual outcome. You know that very well.”

“He’s your son!” Jaebum grits out furiously. “He should mean something to you.”

“Of course he meant something to me! With his position in the society, the least he could do is become useful based on his kind. His role in my life is quite vital. So keep him happy, stop him from demanding divorce and get him pregnant. Or you’ll lose all of the things you’ve worked hard on.”

“Yes, I had a life before this atrocious marriage I got thrown into and I plan on getting back to it at some point,” Jaebum says wistfully.

 _A life_?

Mark bites his lip to stop himself from crying at the realization that his husband always considered his marriage with him as something outside of his real life.

Now it all made sense, why Mark still haven’t met Jaebum’s family, all who live in South Korea which Jaebum visits twice a month. Not even once, did he ever asked Mark to come with him.

_Of course, why would he invite you when you’re just a temporary post in his life?_

“Well you know what you can do to get back to it. I’m surprised you’re still taking a long time to accomplish such task.”

“You know we had a setback. It’s hard to fully recover from that,” Jaebum finally responds, voice booming with a strain Mark haven’t heard from him before.

Mark thinks hard about what agreement both of the men on the line were talking about, and can’t think of anything in value that has anything to do with him. He honestly would be willing to help Jaebum achieve anything he needs if that’s the only way he could get out of their stale marriage sooner. Once he ends it, he would leave, find a life for himself and never look back.

“Yes, that omega son of mine couldn’t do anything right. He only have one job and he couldn’t even do it properly.”

_Oh god._

Mark doubles in pain with the realization that it was him and his miscarriage they were talking about, and in such dry and legal matters like his body and welfare’s a commodity with no much value.

“It’s no one’s fault. It happens,” Jaebum replies, surprising Mark in the process.

“Regardless,” Mark’s father interrupts. “Get my son pregnant and give me that grandson. By then you can go back to your old life. Maybe marry that girl, Bae Joo-hyun of yours. I don’t really care.”

 _Joo-hyun?_ Mark didn’t know what to think about first; the fact that he’s become a tool for whatever sick plan his father and husband have or the fact that Jaebum’s in love with another woman before they got married.

He always assumed that maybe Jaebum’s strong desire to have an alpha would have come from his nature; an alpha who wanted an heir and a person to carry on his name. Even though Mark didn’t like the way Jaebum would only touch him with that goal in mind, he shrugged it off because he honestly thought it was just about that.

Little did he know that having a son meant a way for him to go back to the life he used to have.

 _A life with Joo-hyun_.

But what will happen to Mark and his son once Jaebum leaves them? Will they be left alone and fend for themselves like they’re just one blur in the alpha’s life? Mark had always believed Jaebum would love their son, regardless if it came from him. He never doubted it even once because of his extreme desire to have one.

Mark doesn’t know what to think now.

And for his father, Mark knows exactly why he orchestrated this whole scheme. He’s still hung up on the fact that he’s heirless and without an alpha to be worthy enough to inherit his fortune—stringing Jaebum into his plans had made it somehow possible.

But Mark won’t let them win. Their plan will all be pointless because he won’t ever get pregnant. That he’s sure about.

He carefully puts back the phone on its cradle and lets out a shaky breath he’s been keeping since the call started. If he thought Jaebum couldn’t hurt him beyond what he’s feeling, Mark has been proven wrong again—his husband would always have a hold on him.

Mark buries his face in his hands and rocks his body back and forth in an attempt to comfort himself from the endless pain he’s experiencing. He desperately wants to get out, find a place he could stay and live there until his final days. He wants to be out of his father’s reach, and right now, hearing that Jaebum’s part of his father’s plans, Mark wants nothing to do with him as well. However, Mark’s ideas are always being shut down by the fact that he couldn’t just go up and leave, not when Jaebum’s threat towards Jackson’s business still stands, and with his father’s considerable resources, he’ll find Mark before he could get very far.

No matter where he goes, he’s trapped into this miserable life. And if that isn’t enough reason to give up, Mark doesn’t know what will.

Mark was still into his stupor when a soft knock interrupts him from his musings. Before he could even react, the door opened swiftly, showing him his husband’s broad shoulders and handsome face. His eyes glances slowly towards his small, disheveled body as he still sat on the middle of the bed, arms and legs almost folded together in a locked embrace.

“You’ve been here the whole afternoon, Mark,” Jaebum says softly, the tone of his voice uncharacteristically soothing. The omega eyes him warily.

“I didn’t realize…” Mark mumbles, letting his word trail without much thought. “I’m going to Jackson’s tonight.”

“Why?” Jaebum asks sharply.

Mark shrugs. “Just because.”

“I thought…” Jaebum trails off, hesitation evident. Mark looks up to him in shock—his husband’s too confident to even sound hesitant. “I thought we could get dinner together. We haven’t done that lately, no?”

Mark chuckles mirthlessly. “We don’t really go out for dinners, Jaebum.”

“What do you mean? We do it all the time.”

“Yes, but those dinners are things we’re obligated to go to. Business dinners you’re supposed to bring me so you could look domesticated and filial,” Mark retorts, and Jaebum actually looks uncomfortable hearing it.

“Then this is a better way to start going out with just us, don’t you think?” Jaebum asks in a cheerful voice that makes Mark even warier.

_What’s the deal with him?_

“No, I don’t think so,” Mark replies after a pause, shaking his head to prove his point. “I’m going to Jackson’s tonight and stay there until tomorrow.”

A flash of a different emotion Mark cannot point out showed in his husband’s face, but before he could register what it means, Jaebum already masks it with his usual icy expression.

"Alright. I will let you get to it then. Later."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I am not really sure how fast I can finish this story but I'm pretty sure it will be within this month(?) So, watch out for it.
> 
> Also this story's heavily based on a novel I read years ago entitled The Unwanted Wife. That's a story full of angst, hence the undertone of this story.
> 
> There you go. See you on the next chapters people.
> 
> Xoxo  
> A


	2. To You

>  " _I don’t want your body_  
>  _But I hate to think about you with somebody else_  
>  _Our love has gone cold_  
>  _You’re intertwining your soul with somebody else”_  
>  _-_ The 1975, Somebody Else

He twist and turns, finding the right position until sleep takes over him but to no avail. He’s still wide awake, fully aware of the panic settling in his nerves as he realizes how he let his life spiral out of his control. He’s used to order, he’s used to control—he prides himself in knowing he got everything working along his plans.

 _But this is not part of my plans. He was never part of the plan_. He thinks to himself, kicking the blanket off his body in frustration.

He looks away from the ceiling and turns towards the other side of the bed, where the absence of a warm body seemed to scream at him, making it obvious that he fucked up this time, that there’s no way he’ll leave out of it unscathed.

Jaebum closes his eyes and the image of Mark smiling 2 years ago flashed vividly in his mind. It was the first time he saw the other man, clad in a red suit, hugging his body in all the right places. He doesn’t know who he was then. Assumed that maybe he was just one of the guests, looking strangely out of place and meek as he stood behind the shadows.

He kept his eyes on him, watched him with hawk eyes until his brown ones found his amongst the crowd. It was a magnificent sight, how his shy eyes diverted away and crawls back when he realized Jaebum was still blatantly staring. It was his small smile that pulled Jaebum closer to his side. And it was his adorable laugh that compelled the alpha to crack lame jokes just so he would stay beside him all night.

Jaebum jolts and comes back to the present, not wanting how his mind kept on coming back to that night. He decided long before to forget it, to bury it and never look back.

 _But you were wrong in your assumptions. He didn’t lure you in. He wasn’t even aware of his father’s plans_. The voice in his head taunted, a slight—tiny and small, pang of regret resounds in his chest.

Jaebum silenced it by rolling out of bed and walking over the window to look at the night sky decorated by twinkling stars. His mind, as traitorous as it is, immediately goes back to his husband, wondering how the other man is doing and if he’s also feeling restless like him.

His hands curled into tight fists when he remembered their conversation that morning, of Mark meeting someone else and probably starting an affair like the reputation Jaebum was trying to live with for last year and a half. He shakes the sudden anger surging inside of him, coiling around his limbs like snake and poisoning his indifference with an emotion he’s scared to put a name upon.

He’s Im Jaebum, he doesn’t act upon feelings and emotions. There are things that are better put under rationality. He shouldn’t let this affect him.

 _Mark shouldn’t affect him_.

That night Jaebum did not sleep a wink; he just continued to stare at the empty space and imagined his life before and what could have been if he did not marry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small snippet of Jaebum's POV because you people are making my heart swell with your response to this story. I can't believe people actually read this. Haha!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, all of you beautiful people! ♥
> 
> Oh, and in case you guys want to idk scream(?) at me, hmu on twitter: morkzone
> 
> *that's one huge ass shameless plugging, FORGIVE ME.
> 
> See you soon!
> 
> Xoxo,  
> A


	3. To Him

>   _“Gotta breathe for me, it’s now or never_  
>  _Gotta breathe for me, it’s now or never_  
>  _I should leave, ‘cause you deserve better, better_  
>  _Gave you all and more_  
>  _But I need room to be me”_  
>  -Lauv, Breathe

Mark was excitedly welcomed by the Wang household the moment he stepped into their home. Jackson immediately plastered himself to his side, pestering him with questions about what he’s up to and scolded him for becoming suddenly too thin.

“What hell have you been eating that you suddenly become skin and bones? Are you even eating properly to begin with? Put some meat into your body!” Jackson continues to yell at his ear, poking his sides like that will put sudden weight on his arms and shoulder. Turning to his husband Jackson adds, “Jinyoungie, we have to turn Mark fat tonight!”

Jinyoung on the other hand, just gave Mark a warm embrace, as tight as he could with the baby bump obscuring between them.

“You know with him being the alpha and me being the omega, sometimes it’ll make you wonder where his mother hen is coming from,” his dark haired cousin-in-law whispers in his ear, giggling conspiratorially when his husband eyes him knowingly beside him.

“I heard that!”

“I deliberately did that for you to hear, Sseunie,” Jinyoung quips, kissing his husband’s cheek before leading Mark towards the living room to sit.

On contrary to Mark’s cold and dead household, Jackson and Jinyoung’s home was always warm and cozy, the smell of green tea and lavender always present, relaxing him and his restless mind. Mark would always de-stress in that small house, let his body be hugged by their comfty loveseat that must have seen better days and just be.

In that place is where he could laugh freely, do what he wants and say what he feels without the constant worry that it’ll offend or annoy another person. He can slouch, let his body rest from the constant straight shoulders and perfect image his life demands from him. Jinyoung would always give him time for his words, knowing full well what Mark’s silence means. Jackson, on the other hand makes everything easy for him, filling the gaps with his spontaneity, which in turn eases him into conversations.

Despite being a year older than the two men, Mark has always been the one being taken care of by Jackson and Jinyoung.

And for that, Mark wants to do his best in protecting the two of them with all his might. He wants to shield them from hurt and if staying with Jaebum would secure their future, then Mark’s going to soldier on and endure it, even just for a little bit until they have found their footing and Jaebum’s threat on their business wouldn’t hold any bearing.

“Mark?” he hears someone asks from the point across him, and he looks up and sees Jinyoung, eyebrow raised in question. “I was asking what would you like for dinner? Jackson is insisting on having carbonara but I’m craving for galbitang. How about you?”

Mark shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly, heart not really into food lately. “Anything. I’m not really hungry.” Hearing this, Jackson tuts at him like a strict parent.

“Nuh-uh, Markie-pooh!” his cousin says, the nickname he’s given Mark since they were kids flowing out of his lips easily. “You have to pick. Practice your right to vote, brother. This household promotes democracy.” And when Jinyoung wasn’t looking he stage whispers, “The Italian restaurant’s nearer!”

Mark snorts at his cousin’s ridiculous theatrics.

“Sseun-ah, are you saying that because you’re genuinely concern for Mark-hyung or just so your choice could win?” Jinyoung interjects, mouth turning up in a teasing smile at his husband.

Jackson has the gall to actually look insulted.

“Me? You’re accusing me of using the voting system as a means to get what I want? Pfft. No! Of course not!” It was when Jinyoung purses his lips together and furrowed his eyebrows that Jackson relents without a fight. Mark has seen this scene unfold in front of him so many times, the way the two men would bicker but would always end up laughing together, sometimes making out.

“I thought I was being smooth,” Jackson says, smiling his radiant smile Mark knows makes Jinyoung turn into a puddle of giddy nerves. He wasn’t disappointed when he hears Jinyoung’s laugh, overly joyous and happy while he slaps Jackson’s arm.

“Why do you always have to be so extra?” Jinyoung breathes, pinching his husband’s stomach good-naturedly until the other man’s crying out in pain.

Mark looks at them enviously for a while, the way their smiles seem to be identical in happiness and how Mark’s obviously alone in the sidelines. He used to dream of what Jackson and Jinyoung have when he was a teen; his daydreams consist of a man, handsome and tall, enough to engulf him in a hug and protect him from harm. Mark dreamt of cliché white picket fence houses where he’ll build a family, have two children and probably get a dog when his eldest turns 5. Their Saturdays would consist of picnics in their garden, maybe an outing to the beach every now and then where all of them will have tan lines and eat ice cream before coming home. Mark would cook dinner while waiting for his husband to come home. The other man would kiss their kids the moment he steps inside their front doors and help them with their homework. When the deepest night comes, his husband will make love to him, whisper unending love to him until both of them fall asleep.

Everything’s well planned.

Everything’s perfect.

But then Mark’s father decided he marries Im Jaebum, said it'll widen their market in Asia since Jaebum's a well known music producer in South Korea. Although Mark was excited at first because Jaebum seemed to be the living epitome of his dreams, his rose colored tinted naiveté of having a happy marriage was doused with bitterness and spite.

His husband hates him, just like Mark’s father hated him.

“Hyung, what do you think? Better, yeah?” Jackson suddenly asks, interrupting Mark from his musings. His cheeks warms after realizing he’s zoned out yet again.

“Sorry, what?”

“I said we’ll order both dishes since we cannot decide,” the younger man retells cautiously, face now showing a look of deep concern as he examines Mark’s face.

“Are you okay? You seemed out of it lately.”

Mark immediately shakes his head, appeasing Jackson with a small smile he seemed to force out from within him. “Nothing, Jacks. I’m fine.”

“Mark... What did your husband do this time? I am really going to deck his face—“

“Sseunie, Mark-hyung said it was nothing. Let’s just drop it. Okay?” Jinyoung cuts off, sharing a knowing look with Mark, who by now looks like he’ll pass out.

“But—”

“How about,” Jinyoung starts, pushing Jackson towards the front door and winking at his friend. “…you start driving over to my favorite Korean restaurant and buy me that galbitang? I am hungry and so is your son, he’s making it known by kicking me.” The pregnant omega says, effectively diverting Jackson’s attention away from Mark’s pale face.

It was like a switch; how Jackson’s grimace turn into an affectionate smile, body bristling with excitement he lost momentarily a few seconds ago. It was such an amusing way how Jinyoung balances out Jackson’s temper, cause Lord knows he can be quite temperamental and overly protective with the people he loves.

The said man kissed Jinyoung on the lips and then walks over towards Mark to give him a kiss at the top of his head before he reluctantly steps outside.

It was when they hear the car driving away that Jinyoung opens his arms towards Mark, which the latter lets himself be engulfed to. It is in silent support like these that Mark realizes how the two men always have his back, no matter how ugly the situation might be.

“He’s just concern about you, hyung. He meant well, I hope you know that.”

Mark smiles. “I know that, Nyoungie.”

“And you also know that you can always talk to us, right? You know that we’re always here for you?” his best friend whispers softly, voice so soothing and deep Mark could be easily be lulled to sleep.

He nods his head and buries his face deeply into Jinyoung’s neck, inhaling his scent that smells like fabric softener and lavender and genuinely Jinyoung.

“I know,” Mark says after a pause, fumbling with words he can’t suddenly comprehend. “I just don’t want you to worry. I have bothered you two so much the last time I was here.”

Jinyoung chuckles, playfully bumping his head in the other omega’s. “We always worry about you, hyung. Especially my dumb husband, you’re like a big brother to him.”

Mark sighs deeply as the memory of his cousin’s concerned face flashes in his head.

It was no secret that Jackson didn’t like Jaebum. He verbally declared that when he found out how Mark was being treated unfairly in his marriage. And it was three weeks ago, when Mark couldn’t hold his tears after the scandal broke in tabloids about his husband and a male model having an affair, was his cousin’s end point. Jackson threw a fit, body taut as a bow while telling Mark how he’ll hurt his husband until he’s bleeding to death and paying for the pain he has caused him.

He desperately tried to appease Jackson, fumbling and gripping his arms, telling him it was okay and that he doesn’t really care anymore. Mark’s too afraid of the fact that his younger cousin could get seriously hurt if he act true on what he said.

It was Jinyoung’s soft _Sseuna-ah_ that finally calmed Jackson down, letting him breathe and get back on his bearings.

Mark’s heart always swells in appreciation knowing someone like Jackson cares for him deeply like that. Despite being unwanted by his father and his husband, at least his cousin makes it known that he’s never alone and that he can always be rest assured that he would be Mark’s pillar.

Without realizing it, Mark unconsciously starts to cry in Jinyoung’s arms, breathing out the burden he’s been dealing for the past few days, shoulder shaking uncontrollably from keeping it in for so long.

“I want this all to end…” he sobs, arms clinging carefully around the other man’s torso, mindful of his bump that’s already too big for his small body.

“Shhh…” Jinyoung hushes, making soothing circles on Mark’s back, like he knows what he means, without the other man actually saying anything. They stayed like that for a while, until Mark’s sobs turn into a dull erratic breathing of someone who cried too much.

“I asked for a divorce, Nyoungie,” he finally confesses, knowing full well how the other man’s careful way of thinking would take the news.

Jinyoung surprises Mark when he tightens his hold around him and kisses his forehead in a tender manner that had him breathing easily.

It’s like he was telling him _good job_. It’s like his friend’s telling him, _I support you_.

“Is that really what you want, hyung?” the younger man asks.

Mark nods fervently. “Yes.”

“Hmm… alright, look at me, hyung.” Jinyoung pushes Mark away from him, sitting straight as much as he could with a huge baby bump making it difficult to move. When he finally breathe a sigh of relief, Jinyoung glances back at his best friend and examine him with his wise eyes. “You know that this will be hard, right? You’re aware of that?” Mark nods again, biting his lips to keep another wave of sobs fighting its way out of his chest. “Then, hyung, please be strong. Not for anyone else, but for yourself. This pain, all of it, will be worth it once you get through it.”

“Me and Jackson would always be by your side no matter what happens. You can even stay with us here. We’ll take care of you. We can turn Jackson’s office into your own space, we’ll move his snapbacks out of there. I’m sure he won’t mind.” Both of them chuckle at that.

“But seriously, hyung. If Jaebum-hyung can’t see your worth until now then he doesn’t really deserve a person like you. You deserve to be loved, more than anyone, because you love fully and unconditionally.”

Whatever restraints Mark has, broke out the moment Jinyoung completes his statement. His sobs came back with a vengeance, ripping his insides to shreds turning him into a mess. But instead of the usual hollowness, Mark’s heart now feels full, swelling with too much appreciation only a best friend like Jinyoung could fill. He embraces Jinyoung once again, silently thanking him for always letting him see things clearly when he’s having doubts.

His friend continued to soothe him with his deep voice until Mark’s exhaustion envelops him and pulled him to sleep.

~

> “ _Cause loving you, loving you is too hard_  
>  _All I do, all I do’s not enough_  
>  _Loving you, loving you_  
>  _I cannot be loving you, loving you_  
>  _Loving you, loving you leaves me hurt_  
>  _All I do, all I do is get burnt_  
>  _Loving you, loving you_  
>  _I cannot be loving you, loving you._ ”  
>  -Oh Wonder, Drive

The two men didn’t let Mark leave the next day without plying him to eat at least one small portion of the breakfast they prepared. Since Mark was too exhausted last night, they just let him sleep and didn’t wake him up.

Before Mark goes home, Jackson gave him a bear hug, whispering softly into his ear that he knows he’s having problems but Mark should be rest assured that he is and will forever be his loyal person.

Mark might have cried a bit from that but no one would take it against him. His two favorite people would always love him no matter how messy and emotional he can be.

Mark went home to an empty and silent house; no seething Jaebum waiting this time. Mark couldn’t place how he’s actually feeling about it. He hated that a part of him still hoped that Jaebum would be concerned for him, maybe showed him the same fervor he did for the last few days. He hoped that Jaebum would prove him wrong about what he heard from his conversation with his father yesterday; that at least, with the smallest amount of possibility, his husband genuinely cares for him.

But nothing happened and Mark continued to wait in vain. He’s not sure why he even bothers in the first place.

After taking a hot shower, Mark immediately collapsed into his new bed and didn’t stir until the following morning, when he woke to a bright sunlight hitting his face. Mark looks around and got momentarily confused with his surroundings. He was now back in the master bedroom and not the spare bed he crawled into last night. A glance at the empty space beside him confirmed that Jaebum slept beside him, who probably carried him to their bedroom last night when he’s in deep sleep. For what reason, he doesn’t have an ounce of idea.

Mark instantly glanced down his body and was relieved to see that his clothes are still intact.

_Nothing happened between us last night._

Glancing at the time on his phone, Mark realized that he slept the whole morning, only waking up from his slumber way past eleven. He can feel his stomach rumbles from hunger and he quickly gets up from bed to prepare something to eat. It was when he was about to take a step towards the door that his vision suddenly starts spinning wildly around him, turning his inside to mush and he feels queasy. Mark fumbles for the headboard of the bed to steady himself.

He tries to remember the last time he had a decent meal and can only think of that rice porridge Jinyoung plied him with yesterday for breakfast. The meals after that are almost non existent as he only ate crackers last night for dinner, too tensed to digest heavy food.

Now his body is obviously suffering from all of those missed meals. Mark, after making sure the nausea’s gone, heads straight to the kitchen to prepare himself a decent meal.

Not more than an hour later, Mark’s already running towards the nearest toilet to dry-heave, feeling his body quake with every pull of his gut; just the smell of frying salmon is enough to set him off.

_What the hell?_

After he’s sure his stomach was settled, Mark immediately stumbled outside the gardens, as far away from the nauseating smell as possible, and sits down on the hammock to ease his tired mind and body.

“No…” Mark whispers, voice soft and shaky under the assumptions that are now starting to swirl in his head. “No. No. No, please, God, no! This cannot be.”

Mark buries his face in his hands and starts to count from 1 to 100. He mentally reminds himself to breathe in through his nose and breathe out with his mouth.

 _I’m just being sick because I didn’t eat well these past week. This has nothing to do with me being pregnant. This is nothing_. Mark convinces himself as he now blindly stares at the blue sky above him.

He couldn’t be this unlucky to have the hope of having progress in his demands for independence and be held down towards Jaebum even longer because he got knocked up. Mark acquiescence his nausea as one of those things that happens when someone doesn’t eat properly—and not when one’s pregnant.

Feeling the need to still fill his stomach with something to eat, Mark walks back to the kitchen to nimble on the leftover crackers he had last night. He’s relieved when the onslaught of the fish’s smell no longer repulses him and he calls the staff to dispose it, too afraid that if he does it, it might trigger his nausea again.

With the unappetizing meal done; consisting of crackers and strawberry milk, Mark trudges up to the attic that he turned into his own studio and decided to spend the afternoon there to at least get some work done. Plugging his phone to the built in speakers to blast some music, Mark instantaneously feels immersed in realizing the image he had in mind.

“Arrrgh!” he grumbles an hour later, still unable to find the momentum of getting the right colors together. Mark just silently wills the image in his head to magically come to life by itself because that would be better.

He tosses the brush towards the small table beside him and pressed the heels of his palm in his eyes, thinking that maybe it wasn’t a good idea to paint today.

He has too many things in his mind. It’s rather overwhelming.

“Mark?” a quiet voice coming from behind sends him in alarm, jolting him up from the stool he’s been sitting on and half-crouched in a defensive position before he recognized that it was Jaebum’s voice. Of course that realization didn’t make him feel safer than an actual intruder would have.

Jaebum has both of his hands up, palms facing him to keep him calm when Mark turned towards him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” he soothes.

“Well, you did!” Mark retorts, cheeks warming from the sudden embarrassment his husband had to see. “Why are you here anyway? Shouldn’t you still be at work?”

Mark reluctantly eyes his husband, noticing that he’s not in his usual uptight suit but instead wearing a pair of faded jeans and white shirt, clinging to his body like second skin. He immediately averted his eyes away from the rippled muscles and glances up his face.

“I thought we could spend the afternoon together,” Jaebum says distractedly, eyes no longer on Mark but around the space, absorbing every aspect of the artwork littering the place. He takes quite a long time staring at the angry streaks of yellow paint splattered on the wall, just beside the door—little did he know that it was that paint Mark threw the other night in sheer frustration from him.

He’s roaming around the room now, fiddling with Mark’s tools and checking each canvas piled together in one side of the room. It was when Jaebum was about to touch the last canvas obscured by the others that Mark couldn’t take it anymore.

“Don’t touch that!” he snaps impatiently, heart pounding in his chest when Jaebum looks at him amusedly.

“You paint,” he whispers in astonishment a beat later, eyes now meeting Mark after he had his fill from the cluttered empty tube of acrylics on the table perched at the farthest side of the room.

“It was just a hobby. I’m… I’m not really good at it,” the omega mumbles nervously, feeling suddenly self-conscious with his husband walking aimlessly around his studio.

“This is a portrait of Jackson, isn’t it?” he suddenly asks, pointing at a portrait of his cousin looking carefree and boyish in their high school uniform Mark sketched, long before they met Jinyoung at University.

“Yes,” he whispers, eyeing the portrait in a different light, trying to find how it must have looked in Jaebum’s eyes. Mark fires in embarrassment at the obvious sloppy strokes he used to have then, hoping it didn’t show too much so the other man wouldn’t find another flaw he could throw at him.

“And this is what you do all day?” He looks back at Mark again for confirmation.

“Well, I can hardly stay unproductive the whole day and act like a princess, can I?” he says sarcastically, making Jaebum’s eyes flicker slightly. He couldn’t help but snort with the realization that it’s what he’s husband thought he’s doing all day.

_Maybe he thought I was wasting money with shopping and overpriced restaurants._

“Why didn’t I know this about you?” he asks quietly and Mark shrugs.

“You never bothered to learn about it,” he says dismissively.

“You never bothered to share it in the first place,” his husband responds fiercely, and the omega snares his eyes in a challenge.

“Would you have been interested if I told you?”  
Jaebum was somehow honest in averting his eyes, leaving the quietness as a response.

 _Well, at least he’s honest_. Mark thinks sadly.

“How many of these have you sold?” Jaebum asks, changing the subject as he points at Mark’s paintings perched on easels.

The omega shakes his head. “None. I don’t sell them.”

“Why not?”

“They’re not good enough,” he mumbles. “I just started doing it out of curiosity and never had formal training. No one would buy them because they look sloppy and amateurish.”

“Hmm… it’s weird because I can hear your voice but it’s like listening to your father speak. He told you that you’re not good enough, didn’t he? And you believed him?” Jaebum seems to be uncharacteristically furious about it.

Mark bites his lip in trepidation. “Yes... No… I don’t know. It’s no big deal. I know how they look anyway.”

“I think you should let Mara dela Ranta look at these. She can hook you up in one of the exhibits she’s organizing.”

Mark continues to fidget, not knowing what to do with the sudden interest and praise his husband’s showering him.

“I don’t want to bother a busy curator over my mediocre art. I’m all good here.”

“I hardly think you’ll be wasting her time—”

“Look, Jaebum,” Mark interrupts, immediately halting the other man. “Let’s just drop it, please? I know you don’t really care about what I do. Just spit it out and tell me why you’re really here.”

“I told you, I want to spend time with you,” he says with a gentleness Mark instantly mistrusted.

“Why would you suddenly want that? Didn’t you make it clear that you have nothing to do with me? I have been receiving the memo for the last eighteen months.”

“Well I changed my mind. I want things to be less difficult for us, Mark,” Jaebum mutters uncomfortably, body now close to the omega as he steps cautiously towards him from across the room. The latter can feel the hairs on his arms and neck standing up on ends the moment his husband’s hot breath ghosts along the skin of his cheek and he instinctively shivers.

“Why now?” Mark asks, challenging his husband’s incredulous statement, ignoring the effects he still has on him. “Because I’m threatening to leave without giving you your precious son, is that it?”

“I know you won’t leave,” is all he says, irritating Mark’s nerves.

“What makes you so sure of that?”

Jaebum takes a while before responding.

“The discussion we had the other day… about your cousin’s loan,” he eventually and reluctantly says, deflating Mark’s energy, reminding him of his own personal torture.

“If you’re so sure I won’t leave, what’s with the sudden interest on me?” Mark asks hollowly a beat later.

“We’re married for heaven’s sake… and we don’t know each other! I know nothing about you.”

Mark chuckles mirthlessly at that, eyes hardening to slits. “And whose fault was that? Wasn’t it you who decided he has nothing to do with me long before we even got married? Take this as an example, you don’t even know a fundamental information like this about me because anything that has to do with me means nothing to you.”

“Like I said, I changed my mind.” He didn’t even bother to deny, because it was true, that Jaebum never really had any interest knowing who Mark is; and the only exception was that first night they met.

Mark closes his eyes, letting them shut for a while to push away the memories haunting his mind.

“It’s too late to change your mind now, Jaebum. Eighteen months of living with each other and not even once did you ask me these things. I’m sure that the only reason you’re showing interest on me now is because I started prattling about divorce. This is your way of keeping me compliant, right?”

“Don’t try to second guess me. You don’t know what makes me tick and what’s going on with my mind.”

“I can say the same thing about you. In fact, I think I knew you better than you know me.”

“I doubt that, Mark,” Jaebum dismisses, leaning onto the table looking rather relaxed. Mark’s eyes glint in challenge.

“Oh yeah? How do I take my coffee, then?”

Jaebum shrugs nonchalantly. “Black,” he says with too much conviction like he honestly believed it.

Mark laughs without humor, shaking his head in dark amusement.

“Wrong. You take yours black. I don’t drink coffee.”

“This is pointless!” Jaebum argues, face hardening in concealed embarrassment.

“I know. Everything about me is pointless to you, Jaebum. Except my body, you just want me to get pregnant.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” he scoffs. “That is hardly—”

“What about my birthday?” Mark asks suddenly, still ignoring the other man. “When’s my birthday?”

Jaebum keeps mum, jaw clenching while he locks eyes with the omega.

“You can’t answer, can you?” Mark challenges. “Yours in on January 6th. You’re an only child but you’re the eldest grandchild. You have four younger cousins you’re exceptionally close with; Youngjae, Dahyun, Jeongyeon and Nayeon. You don’t like Western food and loved strawberry milkshakes since you were a kid—”

“Enough!” Jaebum cuts Mark with a slice of his hand in the air, ending his litany in a snap. “This is borderline stalkerish and I am not comfortable with the excessive amount of information you know about me.”

“Stalkerish? Jaebum these are things married people normally know about each other! I loved you when I married you and I wanted to know you, know every bits and pieces of you because that’s what married people do. But these information were not given to me freely, these were scrap of information I have to find out myself because you won’t even talk to me, at least look at me.

“You don’t know my birthday, how I take my coffee or at least my hobbies not because I was secretive. No, Jaebum. It was all because you’re not interested in knowing me. Just the mere idea of knowing who I am repulses you. That’s how it has been. That’s how it will always be.”

Mark takes a deep breath, eyes tracing Jaebum’s face, mind memorizing every part.

 _If this all goes to an end, I just want to remember how he looked like_. Mark tells himself.

“There’s nothing for us left, Jaebum. Let’s just have a divorce, please.”

“There’s a way out of this,” he finally murmurs.

“I know.” Jaebum’s hooded gaze lifts up to his face, quite confused how the omega seemed to be so sure. “Have a baby, right? You want a son and I’m the chosen incubator.” Mark watches his husband’s face for any sign of distress, but he kept stoic. “So, this son, this alpha, that you want to have so bad, what will happen to him after we get a divorce? You will take him far away from me, I assume?”

He waits for Jaebum’s affirmative yes, or at least a nod of his head, to prove that it really him who wants to have a son and not to achieve his plan with Mark’s father.

“Of course I won’t take him from you.” Jaebum shakes his head, sending Mark’s heart plummeting. “I won’t be that cruel, Mark. Of course, I will let you have custody.”

Mark shuts his eyes once again to shield whatever emotion he has on them, choosing to breathe in deep so he won’t cry in front of his husband.

“How gracious of you,” he whispers softly. “To be so eager to have a son and then give him up afterwards. How often would you like to see him, then?”

“Well, naturally I will move back to South Korea so I guess two to three times a year? That’s what you would prefer, right? Less contact with me?”

 _Two to three times per year?_ Mark inhales deeply, tampering down the anger coming from within his whole body, swirling in his chest that makes him want to scream. That was all the time he wants to spend with a son that is half his? Mark opens his eyes once again and meets Jaebum’s squarely.

“You really are very gracious. But that’s no longer a possibility since I won’t ever get pregnant anyway.”

“You’re being impossibly childish, Mark,” Jaebum admonishes quietly.

“I’m being childish? No, Jaebum. I am finally being reasonable. Up to this point all things has been decided for me. Who I marry, where I would live, what I should get as a child—even how my wedding was planned wasn’t my choice. It was all you and my father. The only reason I got Jackson to be my best man was because he was my cousin, if he’s just a friend like Jinyoung he wouldn’t even fit the bill!”

“It turns my stomach to hear such a person who led such a privileged life whine about how terrible his life is. You’ve had everything money could buy and you still had the gall to complain—”

“Except love, Jaebum! Especially my husband’s and father’s love. Apparently I am not quite worthy of that.”

Jaebum scrunches up his face in contempt. “You’re feeling sorry for yourself and I’m getting sick of it.”

“Yes, and it’s liberating to actually feel sorry for myself. All this time I kept mum about all the things you and my father dished out, accepting it without complaint and even thinking I deserved it, that it was my lot in life. But I realized that I am not the one at fault here.” Mark breathes in deep as he runs his fingers along the soft strands of his hair, swallowing the tears threatening to come out. “At least my intentions when I married you were honest; I stupidly believed I loved you. Let you hold my life because I thought you will hold it with high regard. But yours were less than stellar, right? Your intentions have nothing to do with love.”

“My intentions had everything to do with love!” Jaebum thunders abruptly, silencing Mark and putting him in shock. Turning away from him he says, “Just not love for you.”

Mark blinks, heart stopping at the honesty Jaebum is finally giving him.

“What does that mean? Love for whom?” he asks, mind going straight to Bae Joo-hyun. _Is he talking about her?_ If Jaebum loves the woman so much, why did he even marry Mark? It just doesn’t make sense.

“It’s none of your business,” Jaebum shrugs off, jaw clenching and tensed.

“It always is none of my business,” Mark starts. “But it affects every aspect of my life. You want something from me but won’t even give me something in return; not as much as respect. I had enough of that, Jaebum. This is my body and I decide what to make of it.”

“I’m your husband—”

“You are not my husband,” Mark interrupts, eyes finally shining with tears. “A husband takes care of his partner, treats him with respect, cherishes and honors him. If you want to know what a real husband is, you might want to take notes from my cousin because you are no such thing!”

Jaebum reels away from him, looking like a person who’d been attacked by his favorite pet. Mark pushes him towards the door, an occurrence happening quite often between the two of then.

“There is nothing for us to talk about. Please leave.”

"Mark..."

"Leave."

Jaebum sighs in defeat, walking towards the door in an unusual meekness that’s never in his personality.

Mark watches his broad back slowly walk away from him, drilling a wider void in his already beaten up heart that keeps on breaking each moment he and Jaebum try to talk.

Mark can only cry in silence until the soft click of the door reverberates against the walls of his studio, giving him an empty finality he’s not sure he really wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh. There. Another frustrating chapter. It was supposed to be longer but I decided to cut it here and post it with my eyes wide shut.
> 
> I am so thankful for the response this story's getting. I didn't really expect this. I just started writing this for my friends but knowing others are liking it puts a certain lightness in my heart *sappy and cheesyyyy~*
> 
> Your comments give me life, thank you so much for leaving them!
> 
> HMU on Twitter: @morkzone
> 
> See you soon!
> 
> Xoxo,  
> A


	4. To Her

 

> _“There’s someone else_  
>  _Let it go, I just can’t forget about her_  
>  _How do you know, if you can really be sure?_  
>  _But I can’t move on_  
>  _I’m sorry that I loved her first._  
>  _She’s the only one_  
>  _She’s the only one I want.”_  
>  -LANY, Someone Else

  
“I won’t be able to go home this week, it’s a bit busy at work here,” Jaebum says, voice apologetic and gentle as he talks to his younger cousin who he treats like his actual sibling.

Since Jaebum’s the eldest grandchild, the responsibility of taking care of his younger cousins had been ingrained on him at a very early age. Jaebum’s family are close, treating each other like actual brothers and sisters that Jaebum doesn’t know the feeling of being an only child anymore.

Out of all his cousins-turned-siblings, Nayeon is one of the closest to him, as expected being just a year apart. They always talk to each other, have phone calls every week to catch up and know how the other’s doing. Nayeon’s Jaebum’s keeper and for that he’s always thankful of the young woman.

“But oppa… You promised you’d be here! I had everything planned already.” Jaebum could imagine her pouting, cheeks puffing in irritation. He almost called her a squirrel but catches himself before he could; Jaebum doesn’t need the unnecessary drama.

“I know, I did promise, but something came up here that I just can’t leave behind. I need to fix it first and then I will go back home as soon as I can. Okay?”  
Nayeon whines on the other line in protest.

“Oppa! Did you forget? It’s Joo-hyun unnie’s birthday! It’s important that you’re here. My plan is ruined now that her special guest wouldn’t be here! Oh my god. This is a disaster!”

“Nayeon-ah,” Jaebum soothes, mind now diverting to the other _woman_ , thinking how she is doing after Jaebum last saw her, when he came home for the holidays. She still looked beautiful, giving him the small smile that had his heart fluttering in his chest. “Of course, I did not forget. Look, I will give Joo-hyunie a call on her birthday instead. It’ll be fine. You know how she is. She’s not into grand gestures anyway.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she won’t mind. She’s an angel. But how about that husband of yours? Is he keeping you from us now? First he forced you to marry him, now he’s keeping you away from the people who actually care for you. What else will he ask you to do next time? Forget about your family here in South Korea and stay in L.A. for the rest of your life?”

Jaebum suddenly feels a strong sense of irritation against Nayeon swirling in his chest, so strong that he’s on the verge of yelling at her on the phone but he tampers it with a deep sigh. He shouldn’t dump his frustrations on his younger sister.

“Nayeon-ah,” he warns and immediately hears his cousin huffed on the other line.

“Fine. I won’t talk about him again. I just… we missed you, oppa. It’s hard not having you here.”

Jaebum massages his temple, feeling a throbbing pain brewing in it. “I know, Nayeon-ah. And I missed you too. I will try to be home as soon as I can okay?”

“Okay,” she answers, voice sounding less strained now.

“How’s your audition for that drama role went, by the way? Did you get the part?” And just like that Nayeon continued to talk his ear off, forgetting about Jaebum’s marriage and how she loathes it.  
They talked for the next hour, Nayeon giving him complete details on how her audition went and how everyone is. Even giving Jaebum a complete detail on his parents, especially his dad. By the time he hung up the phone, it’s already time for bed.

Bleary eyed and suddenly dead tired from today’s events, Jaebum pads silently towards the master bedroom to sleep. He was about to head straight to the en-suite bathroom when he stops dead in his tracks, realizing that Mark’s not there as their king sized bed is empty yet again. A slight sense of panic shakes him, having him to frantically walk towards the spare bedroom to check on his husband.

He swears under his breath when he saw Mark’s lithe body in the middle of the spare bedroom’s bed, sleeping rather peacefully, his hair fanning on top of the downy pillow he’s probably taken from the master suite.

Jaebum breathes a sigh of relief and quietly steps inside the room, eyes trained on Mark until he’s just a foot away from the bed. He stares at his face, looking soft with his mouth slightly open, showing his sharp canines that oddly look adorable only on him. His eyes are shut, highlighting his eyelashes, thick and long adorning his smooth skin. A soft snore comes out of the omega and Jaebum stops himself from brushing his husband’s cheek.

Mark, even in his peaceful state, obviously looks tired; it shows in his sunken cheeks and dark circles showing beneath his eyes. It’s visible how their marital problem’s taking a toll on him. Mark’s eyes, Jaebum just recently noticed, that were usually bright, slowly dimmed and became dull in his rather beautiful face. He smiles less now, and almost never laughs—or at least not when Jaebum’s around. He remembered the first few months when they got married, how Mark would usually try to touch him, how he would still smile despite being buffed from his intentions. Mark would usually ask him questions, try to get to know him. He would also tell him how his day went even if it’ll fall on deaf ears.

Now he doesn’t even want to talk to Jaebum even about mundane things like the weather.

For the second night that week, Jaebum snakes his arms beneath Mark’s back and the back of his knees, wrapping in his willowy body with his, quite surprised that his husband seemed to be lighter.

“What have you been doing to yourself, Mark?” he whispers softly, staring at his husband looking smaller in his arms. The alpha pulls his omega a little tighter as he walks towards their bedroom, feeling the ice around his heart… _crack_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, people.
> 
> Thank you again for reading! This experience is so humbling. I love you all so much. ♥
> 
> See you soon!
> 
> Xoxo,  
> A


	5. To Them

 

>   _“It's spiraling down_  
>  _Biting words like a wolf howling_  
>  _Hate is spitting out each others mouths_  
>  _But we're still sleeping like we're lovers_  
>  _Still with feet touching_  
>  _Still with eyes meeting_  
>  _Still our hands match_  
>  _Still with hearts beating.”_  
>  -Daughter, Still

The days passed by fast between the two men, with Mark growing more detached and Jaebum who kept trying to patch them up with lame attempts that would have worked a year ago but never at the moment. He still brings Mark back to their master bedroom every night, despite the omega trying his best to keep him away, like locking the door and yelling at him the next morning, Jaebum still stubbornly lays him beside him every night.

The omega tamps down his heart that hopes for something genuine when his husband does that.

There’s nothing more to that.

Mark submerges out of the water, sucking a breath after being under for so long. He’s been swimming for a while, trying to clear his mind by taking a few laps on their infinity pool. The familiar stretch of his muscles every time he swims puts his mind at ease, cutting through the haze of his never ending worries as he dissects them one by one.

His mind goes straight towards his husband and the said man’s intentions, questioning why he suddenly wanted to spend every waking moment with Mark when just a week ago, before Mark told him he wants divorce, he doesn’t even give a damn about him.

 _Don’t trust him again. He’s just baiting you._ The voice in his head warns, putting sense in all of Jaebum’s sudden erratic behavior.

Mark assumed his interest was something genuine at first—that maybe his husband finally cracked his head and realized Mark’s a human being with actual feelings and should be valued. He hoped this is the turning point of their marriage, but hoping for good things put him in too many painful situations already, so Mark chooses to believe on the most rational thing his mind’s telling him: _Jaebum is just pacifying him._

He’s selfish, he’ll put himself before everything else… _especially Mark_.

Feeling rather satisfied with his exercise and solidarity, Mark leaves the water and wraps his half naked body in a fluffy bathrobe as he head towards the shower upstairs. He’s mentally listing down the things he has to do for the day when he slams into a hard chest and broad shoulders. Mark almost slip on the living room floor if it wasn’t for the sturdy arms that immediately wrapped around his waist to keep him steady on his feet.

“You okay?” his husband asks, breath fanning his face for how close they stand together. Mark can feel Jaebum’s chest against his, brushing his with every breath he takes and that made him infinitely uncomfortable.

Mark gently pushes himself away from him and nods his head in response.

“You look pale as a ghost. Are you sure?” Jaebum insists, eyes still trained on him.

“Yes, I’m fine. I was just surprised,” he murmurs, eyes darting everywhere except Jaebum’s face.

He hears the other man hums in agreement, energy obviously and surprisingly upbeat.

“What will you be doing this afternoon?” his husband inquires, voice soft and if Mark will be honest, a tad cheerful for his liking.

Mark, realizing Jaebum’s still staring at him, shrugs his shoulder in response, causing the untied bathrobe to slip from his body and momentarily show the smooth tanned skin underneath. Mark immediately pulls the material back on his body, tying it around his waist and clutching it tighter against his chest. Jaebum clears his throat a second later, looking a bit shaken that got Mark confused.

“Let’s have lunch together. There’s a restaurant that opened a few blocks away. You might like their shrimp scampi—”

“I’m allergic to shrimp,” Mark interjects quietly and Jaebum nods his head and smiles apologetically at him, looking so boyish and so like the man he met 2 years ago.

Mark’s heart clenches painfully in his chest.

“Oh. I... I didn’t know.”

Mark’s heart plummets, and he can’t help the scowl forming on his face.

_Of course you don’t know._

“Just one of the many things you don’t know about me,” he mutters nonchalantly, not missing the flinch his husband’s face made. “It’s alright. I’m not hungry anyway. If you decided to eat here, there’s food in the fridge, reheat it if you want. The staff are on leave.”

“What?”

“I gave all of them a day off,” Mark clarifies, sidestepping Jaebum. “I’ll take a shower.”

“Wait, Mark,” Jaebum starts, gently grabbing Mark’s wrist to keep him from walking away. “Why won’t you eat?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“I don’t like how you’ve been managing your meals lately. You’ve become too thin, it looks unhealthy,” Jaebum says, making Mark turn his head in his direction so fast, he thought he’ll have whiplash.

“Are you bossing me around with food now?”

“No,” his husband protests. “I was just telling you what I see and it’s an honest observation. I’m trying to look out for you.”

Mark scoffs, chuckling maniacally at the audacity of his husband to lie through his teeth.

“ _He was trying to look out for me,_ ” Mark mimics, rolling his eyes in disbelief. “Months ago you wouldn’t even look at my face, now you suddenly grew interest and is looking out for me. Your intentions are so obvious, I actually feel embarrassed for you.”

The other man started to say something but Mark silenced him with his hand and was quite amazed that the alpha actually shut his mouth.

“I know that you’re only doing this to make me do what you wanted like I did all those months ago. But I can’t be that person anymore,” Mark says, averting his eyes away from Jaebum and swallowing the lump starting to form in his throat. “It’s too late to suddenly grow interest on me now, Jaebum—even if your intentions are actually genuine. We’re far too gone to salvage whatever’s left in this marriage. I’m afraid there’s no saving us.” Mark bites his lip to stop it from trembling and wraps his arms around himself in an attempt to bat away the cold that suddenly envelops him. His husband just stares at him thoughtfully.

“I don’t know what you want me to say…” Jaebum whispers softly when their eyes met.

Mark smiles sadly, letting his wrist slip from his husband’s hand.

“I know,” he says, head dipping down to hide the disappointment in his eyes. “And that’s the heart of the problem.”

Both men held with bated breath the severity of Mark’s words as a pregnant pause grows between them. The house feels infinitely huge and without the usual staff lurking at the corners, it seemed to be immense at that moment. Mark feels suffocated in such a huge space, no longer seeing the house in his usual rose-tinted eyes.

All he wants to do is leave.

Jaebum surprised Mark when he suddenly cups his cheeks and tilts his head to meet his eyes once more, dark as a night sky eyes ablaze with a different emotion the latter hasn’t seen on him before. The way he looks at Mark and the way he caresses his face made the latter think that he’s become _affectionate_.

“I may not know a lot of things you expected me to know, Mark,” his husband says, voice low and lightly accented. “But I do know you.”

Mark shakes his head mutely, unsettled by the proximity and heavy stare Jaebum has on him. Mark tries his best to look unaffected, but every slight movement of Jaebum’s fingers against his skin makes it come alive. The hands that are on his face seconds ago are now splayed along the expanse of his thin neck and shoulders, massaging the tension out of his muscles beneath the flimsy towel.

And just when Mark’s about to shut his eyes, Jaebum lightly taps his lips with his index finger, securing their eyes to lock together in a hazy stare. “I know how and where to touch you, where to kiss, where to suck until you moan, scream and cry out in ecstasy.” Jaebum’s voice lowered even further, the thickness of his honey voice heightening Mark’s awareness of hot breath kissing his now feverish skin.

“That—that’s just sex. A… a meaningless fuck,” he whispers back, stumbling with his words a little bit. “That doesn’t solve or prove anything.”

“It might not solve anything…” Jaebum answers. “…but it proves that I know you. _That I want you_.” The last statement he says in a low whisper.

Mark splayed his hand against his chest in a lame attempt to push him away, but his husband has wrapped his arm around his waist now, fingers drumming along his back. Mark bites his lip, abusing the soft muscle to keep his breathing normal.

Being distracted by the other man’s hands on his body, Mark didn’t have enough time to avoid Jaebum’s lips landing on the juncture between his neck and behind his ear, that one spot that surely makes him go crazy.

“And you want me too…” Jaebum whispers hotly on his ear, licking a stripe on the sensitive skin, making Mark press himself against his body unconsciously.

“Ahhh! This is—just—just sex,” he stammers weakly, nails now digging on Jaebum’s broad shoulders as the latter starts to tease him, nibbling at his earlobe and biting it lightly. Mark can’t help but moan, the sound being pulled right out of him by his husband’s talented mouth; mouth that is now traveling towards his throat, his neck then sharp collarbones and stopping momentarily at his slender shoulders to leave a bruising mark there. The towel that was wrapped around his body is now lying on the floor—forgotten while Jaebum maps his body with his hands and mouth.

Mark gasps in pure lust when Jaebum flicks his hardened nipple with the pad of his thumb and capturing it with his lips then rolling it with his wet tongue afterwards. His hands, that are clinging to the alpha’s broad shoulders, instinctively shoot towards Jaebum’s hair, tugging the soft strands as he groans in pleasure.

“Please…” Mark didn’t know if he is begging for Jaebum to stop or to continue but the latter took it as a consent for him to go further down Mark’s damp shorts, fumbling through the strings until it loosens and falls on the floor together with Mark’s towel. Jaebum immediately fondles his husband’s ass, kneading his flesh in fervor like his life depends on it. Mark, on the other hand, can no longer think; all his frustrations, bitterness and anger against Jaebum went out the window the moment his fingers start stroking and plunging in and out his entrance, now wet with slick. Noticing that he’s the only one naked, Mark’s hands drop at Jaebum’s belt buckle, fumbling through the button and zippers to expose his soft skin. He tugs at the material until he could roll it enough to hold him and feel his hardness with his dainty hand. Together with Jaebum’s rhythm, Mark strokes his husband just the same, enjoying the ragged breaths he’s making against his ear.

Jaebum growls when Mark presses the tip of his index finger on the tip of his cock, the member twitching from the motion.

“Wrap your arms around my neck,” Jaebum commands gruffly, swiftly lifting Mark and taking hold of his lithe body against his broad one. Mark obediently does what he’s told, wrapping his arms around Jaebum’s neck as the latter perches him on the back of the sofa.

“Don’t let go,” he tells the omega as he lines himself to sink inside him while his other hand’s still knuckle deep Mark’s warmth, scissoring and relentless in their search for the latter’s sweet spot. Too overwhelmed from all the sensations of having Jaebum’s hands on him, Mark merely nods his head in response.

His breath hitched and legs locked tightly around his husband’s slender waist, when finally, his husband enters his welcoming heat, filling him up. The two of them groan at the first thrust Jaebum made, adjusting to the sensation they were deprived days before. This is the longest they hadn’t been together this way, except for the times the alpha has to go to South Korea for business and holidays.

With both hands holding tightly on Mark’s waist, Jaebum lifts his head to look into the former’s eyes. The act undoing Mark as his husband never done it before, not in bed nor out of it. His husband’s eyes continues to search his and Mark wonders what it is he’s looking for. He bites his lower lip nervously and Jaebum’s gaze zeroed there, eyes flaring with something unrecognizable that had Mark twitching around him.

Jaebum hisses slightly at the movement, face clenching as he tilts Mark to enter him further and brush his sweet spot. He slightly withdraws, only to plunge back deeper as if he can’t bear to be away from him. Noticing Mark’s cock leaking precum, Jaebum grabs it and pumps it in the same rhythm he’s doing his ass.

“Come for me, _baby_ ,” he whispers, the term of endearment shocking Mark as the former never calls him that before, putting enough reason for him to dig his nails at his husband’s back and letting him push deeper. Mark feels the tell tale of his orgasm surging from the bottom of his spine pushing through the haze of lust enveloping him; and his head falls back limply, mouth opening in a soundless scream of ecstasy as he paints both of their stomach in white streaks of cum. The record speed of his orgasm seems to take Jaebum by surprise, which then triggers his own. With a growl and another half-thrust, Jaebum digs himself as deep as he could go and comes violently inside his husband. It seems to last forever, but his body eventually goes limp and he collapses against Mark’s embrace, face burying in the juncture between the omega’s neck and shoulder.

So stunned by the turn of events, it wouldn’t have lasted three minutes that Mark almost didn’t catch his husband words. In fact, he wouldn’t have catch the words if his husband’s mouth didn’t stamp it on his skin. But Jaebum said them. His prayer. His mantra.

“ _Give me a son, Mark._ ”

And just like that, it was done for him. His legs unclasp from his husband’s back and he pushes him away from his body. Jaebum glances up at him and upon seeing the tears flowing from his eyes attempted to envelop him in an embrace. However, Mark shoves him away again, rougher this time, stepping aside to free himself from being in the same space as his husband.

“Why are you crying?” he asks hoarsely as he rights his clothing.

“I hate you!” Mark spats, eyes looking for his bathrobe lying on the floor and wiping the stubborn tears painting his face.

“Whatever happened between us did not feel like hatred for me,” Jaebum points out. Mark sneers at him.

“It was just another fu—”

“Don’t say it!” the alpha thunders, cutting off Mark. “Don’t you dare say it.”

“Why not?” he snaps back. “That’s what we do. Don’t try to pretend we’re making love when all this time we’re only two people physically attracted to each other. That’s what keeps this so-called marriage together, to be honest. Do you think sex fixes everything? It only makes it worse! Like adding fuel to an already raging fire. All you’ve proven right now is that I am humiliatingly unable to resist you. So, are you happy now?”

“That is entirely mutual,” he responds dryly and Mark goes still.

“Oh please,” he chokes. “Of course you can resist me. I’m just another warm body to you. I hold no particular consequence in your life. I’m just a means to an end so don’t try to insult my intelligence by feeding me lies. I’m so done with it.”

“What?” he hisses furiously. “For heaven’s sake you’re not just another person—you’re my husband, you hold a great consequence in my life!”

“A husband you’re ashamed of? I don’t think so, Jaebum!”

“Who told you I was ashamed of you?” he asks, seemingly outraged by the notion.

“You did…”

“Mark, all of the things you are accusing of me has an element of truth in them, I admit that. But this is something I cannot take. I have never, not once, told you I am ashamed of you.”

“You didn’t have to,” he starts to say, wrapping the bathrobe around his body once more, making sure it’s tied firmly before glancing back up at him. “You show that to me everyday.”

“What?”

“If you aren’t ashamed of me, why have I never met your family, the extensive and large family that means the world to you? Why haven’t you ever bothered to ask if I want to come with you and maybe visit the country where you grew up in? I know that you also have Korean friends here in L.A. that you’re close with and you always meet them every Fridays to hang out with them. For eighteen months, you never bothered to introduce me, Jaebum. Those people hold a great consequence in your life but I have never met them.”

 _There’s also Joo-hyun_. Mark thinks but chooses not to pry further about the woman, in the fear of having his heart shattered to pieces.

“They are the people that matter to you. And if I’m really the husband you wanted, that you’re proud of, I would have met them by now. But I guess I will always be the well kept husband, right? I’m your mysterious husband no one should know about.”

“Mark, it’s not like that,” Jaebum denies, hand fumbling to reach his hands but the latter only steps further away, pain and hurt reflected in his eyes.

“I will take a shower,” the omega whispers bitterly, head held high with as much dignity he could muster. He gives a last glance at Jaebum “You know what it feels like to scrape the touch, the scent, the very essence someone off your skin, don’t you? After all, that’s what you always do thirty seconds after you come inside of me. And now, I can finally relate to that.”

With that, Mark exits the living room, leaving his husband wide eyed and appalled before he could even respond.

~

 

>   
>  “Then I see you standing there  
>  Wanting more from me  
>  And all I can do is try  
>  Then I see you standing there  
>  I'm all I'll ever be  
>  But all I can do is try  
>  Oh, try, try.”  
>  -Nelly Furtado, Try

They barely spoke for the next two days, only co-existing in their huge house like strangers who decided to live together. Jaebum still insisted they eat together, spend time with each other even if it only involves Mark eating toast and crackers while Jaebum nags him to eat more. He also stubbornly carries Mark to their bed every night, placing him perfectly on his side of the bed. But Jaebum doesn’t touch him anymore, maintaining the distance Mark insisted on. Some part of Mark was relieved that his husband has finally listened to him, but a small tiny part in him yearns for the bond they had shared, as it was the only thing working well for them.

 _It’s just sex._ Mark continues to tell himself, insisting it will never be more than that with Jaebum.

Besides, Mark has more concerning and immediate matters at hand, like the fact that he still throws up everyday and gets attacked with dizzy spells at the most unexpected times. He has a solid idea what is happening to him but he wants to prolong the inevitable, hold on to the freedom he desperately asked for. Yet another decision snatched away from his hand, but at least now he could tell his husband at his own time if he’s pregnant—if that is really the case, which he still hopes not.

Mark is staring at the blank canvas when his cellphone buzzes from the table. He smiles to himself, knowing full well that it is his cousin bombarding him with questions about how he’s doing. Even if Mark leaves it unanswered, Jackson has a habit of leaving gazillion messages for him, knowing that his messages, although borderline annoying, can make Mark feel better.

A frown paints Mark’s face when the name of his husband flashes on the screen. Not really keen on reading his text, he finally clicks on the message.

**_Eating out tonight. Dress code: casual. Business thing. Will be home to pick you up at 6PM._ **

Mark groans, cursing Jaebum’s business meetings and parties. He is tempted to refuse but he knows that they’ll end up arguing and Mark’s so tired even for that.

At least Jaebum considered telling him beforehand, not like the last few times when he just simply came home telling him to get ready and Mark scrambles to find an appropriate suit and look presentable the best way he can; he curses the times when he goes out with Jaebum without even getting his hair done.

Thinking about it now, Mark gives up on work and decides to go to the salon instead. He’s always wanted to get his hair professionally done but didn’t have the time… _and the guts for change_. Yet the situation calls for it. Looking good tonight would make him feel confident, and Mark knows he needed it.

Jaebum arrives promptly at six, walking at their foyer while trying to loosen his tie. He stops in his tracks when he sees Mark curled up on the sofa, a photobook perched on his knees, looking relaxed in his comfty sweatpants and shirt. The latter instinctively touches his hair upon noticing his husband’s arrested stare at it, finding every nerve in his body to weather the incoming storm of Jaebum’s wrath.

Mark always had brown hair; growing up his father forbidden him from changing its style, telling Mark having outrageous hairstyle and color would only draw attention on him and would cause shame in the family. Jaebum never comments on his hair before, only tugging it and touching the soft strands when they’re having sex. His husband didn’t really have any concerns with his appearance except for him to look almost perfect.

Mark thinks that suddenly having his hair dyed ash blonde is far from perfect. If his husband’s strange look of surprise and hands clenched firmly at his side aren’t enough indication.

“You look…” he starts, voice hoarse and he clears his throat before trying again. “You look stunning.” His quiet statement seems to ring with sincerity and something, which from another man would be akin to reverence. “You look absolutely beautiful.”

Mark blinks, so stunned by the sudden compliment he never expected his husband to say. The former darts his eyes away from his husband’s eyes, hiding the hint of blush blooming in his cheeks. He admonishes his heart when he starts to feel giddy.

Jaebum walks over to him and nearly tripped on the footstool placed beside an easy chair on his haste to be at Mark’s side. He frowns at the offending piece of furniture before sinking on the leather loveseat across the sofa Mark is currently curled on.

“Uh,” he starts, eyes searching and suddenly staring at the book the omega’s looking at, seemingly desperate to make conversation. “What are you reading?” His feline eyes zeroes on the title and upon realizing what it was, asked, “Dogs and cats?”

“I happen to like dogs and cats,” Mark says defensibly and his husband’s strange soft gaze sweeps over his tight features before he scoots closer to him, right palm extended.

“May I?” Mark reluctantly passes the book towards his husband’s opened palm and observes the changes of his expression with every page he flips. He starts to grin at something from the book, before boyishly smiling up at him.

He looks so breathtakingly handsome that Mark continues to stare at his face until he realized that his husband’s already talking to him.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that,” he whispers, and Jaebum only smiled wider before turning the book toward him, pointing at a glossy photo of a cat, so sophisticated and beautiful that had Mark gasping.

“I have one cat just like this back _home_ ,” he informs, expression suddenly reminiscent. “I like dogs and cats too, well mostly cats but I love pets in general. The way I see it, people who don’t like animals shouldn’t be trusted, don’t you think so?” He gives a small smile at Mark before facing the book towards him again. “My cat is called Nora. My family adopted her 7 years ago, she’s still alive up to this day but she’s pretty old. I wanted to bring her here in L.A. but the vet advised me that she might have a hard time adjusting to the place.”

Mark smiles reluctantly at his husband’s obvious affection for his cat, finding it interesting that he’s actually spoke more than one sentence to him without them arguing. Funny how it would only happen if they talk about cats.

“I assume you had a pet too growing up?” he prompts and Mark nods his head slowly. “A dog or a cat?”

“A dog.”

“What breed?”

“She was a Maltese, I named her Coco,” he whispers, reluctant to continue. Jaebum, seeing Mark’s downcast face, leans forward intently.

“Tell me more,” he invites quietly.

Mark shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly. “There’s nothing much to tell. My mother brought me to the pound on my ninth birthday, saying I could pick one dog and I could raise it. She must have relented because I kept going on and on about wanting one. And when I saw Coco, with her round black eyes, snowy white coat and wagging tail, I was gone.” He smiled at that and so is Jaebum. “She’s a ball of energy and I adored her so much because of that.” Mark sighs heavily, stopping and shrugging before meeting his husband’s waiting eyes. “Time to get ready for that dinner, we don’t want to be late, right?”

Jaebum frowns and shakes his head.

“How long did you have her?” he asks in a tone that leaves no room for argument and Mark sighs again, tugging his lower lip with his teeth.

“Three weeks, I think.”

Jaebum’s frown deepened and he smothers a curse upon his husband’s confession. “What happened?”

“My parents do not agree on a lot of things. I grew up with them having to always argue about almost everything. Apparently, my getting a dog is my mommy’s way of scoring points against daddy and getting rid of Coco is my daddy’s way of getting even with mommy.” Mark tries to sound flippant but the tremor in his voice made a liar out of him. Jaebum says nothing but his jaw clenched tightly, the little muscles dancing below his ears. His knuckles turn white from gripping the book so tight.

“Your mother… where is she now?”

“I am not really sure. But last I heard she went to Europe, France to be more specific, to settle down with her new family.” This he said in a matter of fact fashion, like how one would tell about the weather.

“You’re not close with her?” Jaebum inquires.

Mark smiles sadly, eyes glassy with unshed tears. “Mommy blames me for having her first marriage ruined. I don’t think we’ll ever be close if she feels that way for me.” Looking straight into his husband’s eyes, Mark adds, “People, except for Jackson and Jinyoung, always blame me for their misfortunes that I no longer feel riveted by the idea anymore.”

“Mark…”

“Anyway, never mind. That was all in the past and my mother has found her happiness someplace else and with that I celebrate with her.”

Jaebum’s intent gaze told Mark that he doesn’t believe his nonchalancd but fortunately he did not challenge it anymore. He passes the book towards him and Mark, with all his might, tried his best to avoid having contact with the alpha’s hand. Jaebum notices the evasion but chose not to comment on it.

“So this business thing, how casual is it?” he asks, carefully getting up, not wanting to reveal any dizziness in front of his husband.

“Extremely casual,” he responds. “Jeans, shirt and jacket will do.”

“You mean I had my hair done for nothing?” Mark frowns, disgruntled that he won’t be able to show off his new hair with the best possible setting.

“I hardly think it was for nothing,” the alpha comments, giving one of his rare, breathtaking smile of his. “I mean, you looked handsome with your brown hair before but this style on you, _baby_ … words fail me… you look… _jjang_!” Jaebum shakes his head and in a quintessentially Korean gesture, raised both of his thumb to signify his approval.

For some reason, Mark finds this funny and he stifles his giggle with the back of his hand, his eyes above the hand covering his mouth iridescent with pure laughter that got the other man staring at him in awe before he clears his throat.

“Go on, Mark,” he prompts. “Get ready and I will meet you here after half an hour?” Mark nods at the question in his voice.

Jaebum kept mum on where they would go, no matter how hard Mark tries to plead him for information. It was highly unusual for him to do that when before he would drill Mark what to do or what to say, seemingly afraid that the latter will mess up their image. It was markedly different this time though as Jaebum seems to be relaxed and when he sees Mark chewing his lip in nervousness told him not to worry.

Mark finding nothing to do but wait, steals glances on Jaebum’s side profile, appreciating his tall nose that’s accentuated more in this angle and his feline eyes that’s glued on the road. He was dressed more casually than he is, clad in a pair of distressed jeans, leather jacket and shirt that must have seen better days.

“Stop staring,” Jaebum suddenly growls in the darkness of their car, interrupting Mark’s sneaky ogling. “You’re making me nervous.” He confesses, making Mark scoff in disbelief.

His husband looked far from feeling nervous, especially with his dangerous aura and equally dangerous good looks. If there is one that’s nervous, that’s Mark and no one else.

“We’re here,” Jaebum finally announces, parking along the driveway of a huge house, making their own house back in Arcadia seem like a cottage house. There were other expensive cars already parked before them, filling the driveway with luxury only people born with money could buy, and every light, both inside and outside the house seem to be turned on.

Mark unbuckles his seatbelt and hops out of their car before Jaebum could turn around the hood to open his door. He stands with his hands above the roof of the Porsche and stared at the house in pure curiosity.  
He’s aware of Jaebum rummaging behind the front seat for his things before climbing out of the low slung car with feral grace. He rounds the bonnet and joins Mark in his side.

“Mark, I don’t want you to think…”

Whatever he has to say was cut off when another car, this time a blue Lamborghini, parks behind them.

Jaebum glances at the vehicle and swears under his breath after realizing who it was.

The sole occupant hops out of his car after a second and Mark can easily see his face from all the lights flooding the driveway. The man has an easy gait, tall, lean and looks to be about their age. He has a huge grin on his face, eyes slanted and almost like crescent moons as he smiles brightly. He’s dressed in the same fashion as his husband, sans the leather jacket but a tight muscle shirt that shows off his stocked biceps. Mark feels like he’s seen him before but couldn’t remember where.

“Im Jaebum!” he greets his stoic husband with a hearty slap on the back before he engulfs him in a brotherly embrace.

“Jooheon,” Jaebum nods in return, not sharing the man’s exuberance at all. He instantaneously puts his hand at the small of Mark’s back, turning him to face the other man while also keeping him close.

“Wow! And who’s this gorgeous angel?” Jooheon turns his killer smile on him and Mark can’t help but return it. Jaebum glares at the former, who seems to take his ill-humor in stride and egged him further.

“This is my husband.” Jaebum snaps curtly, the warning in his voice obvious.

“You’re married to this beautiful human being?” Jooheon keeps his appreciative stare at Mark’s blushing face, his playful grin turning to a smile of genuine warmth. “I always knew you have an impeccable taste, Jaebum-ah, but my opinion of you has now been sealed.”

The amiable man extends his hand towards Mark, who takes it after the slightest hesitations.

“I’m Lee Jooheon. It’s very nice to meet you.” And with that he leaves a reverent kiss at the back of his hand. Mark can’t help but giggle at the other man’s theatrics, seeing his cousin’s humor in him.

“I’m Mark. Nice to meet you too, Mr. Lee.”

“Oh, good god! There would be no formality between us, my angel.” he admonishes, pulling Mark slightly against his side before walking a few steps towards the front porch of the huge house. “Just call me Jooheon, alright? Now, let me escort you inside.”

Jaebum’s hand immediately shoots towards Mark’s free arm, tugging him before Jooheon could even have his husband around his arm.

“His name is Mark and I will be escorting my own husband inside,” Jaebum grits through his teeth, temper concealed by the barest of threads.

“My goodness, I forgot you were even there, Jaebum-ah.” Jaebum growls at this, and Mark couldn’t stifle the giggle bubbling up his throat by his husband’s behavior. Jooheon looks delighted by the sound and finally lets him go.

“We will continue to talk inside, my angel. See you in a bit,” he promises, before turning away and bounding up the stairs leading towards the entrance of the house.

“I like him,” Mark declares, smiling at his husband’s glowering face.

“Don’t mistake his flirtation for more than it is, Mark,” he mutters in warning. “He’s got a girlfriend already.”

“I am not an idiot, Jaebum. I know that he’s just teasing you through me.”

“What I’m trying to say is—”  
“Hey, man! Are you coming in or what?” A voice interrupts them, cutting off Jaebum’s statement once again and they both glance up the front door where a man, slightly shorter than Jooheon and a little bit leaner, stands staring at them.

“Come on” Jaebum mutters, ushering the omega upstairs, picking up his things that Mark only noticed now seemed to be a guitar like the one Jooheon was carrying earlier.

“Hey, Jaebum,” the man greets, followed by the usual back thumping and side hugs which this time his husband returns with equal friendly fervor.

“Sungjin,” Jaebum nods, tugging Mark towards his side. “This is Mark.”

“Mark?” The man, Sungjin did a double take at him, masking his surprise with a friendly smile. “I’m very happy to meet you. I’m Park Sungjin.”

And the penny finally dropped. Mark smiles brightly at the friendly looking man and felt like an idiot for not connecting the dots sooner. It is Friday night, his husband has his guitar with him, and he has brought him to his Friday hangout with his Korean University buddies. How surprising to what lengths his husband would take him to keep him pliant. No wonder he’s such a successful businessman and producer, he’s good at manipulating a situation and this is a good example of that.

_Keep your husband happy and he might go back to becoming his human incubator._

“I’m so happy to meet you, Mr. Park,” Mark starts, taking the hand of the other man while hiding his anger with a sweet smile. “Why, just a few days ago I expressed a wish to meet you.” He doesn’t glance at Jaebum but he could feel him shifting at his side. “And here we are…”

“Indeed,” the other man smiles, even though by the way he exchanged glances at Jaebum that something’s amiss. “I’m glad you overcame your aversion to music. I’m sure the others would be glad to finally meet Jaebum’s gorgeous husband.”

_Aversion to music? So that’s how he explained my conspicuous absences. How creative._

“And I’m excited to meet them,” Mark replies warmly. He’s angry at Jaebum for his manipulative ploy in putting him under his spell again but this man, who seemed rather lovely makes Mark feel welcomed and he can’t help but like him immediately.

“Everybody’s around back, Jaebum-ah,” Sungjin informs the silent man behind them. “You both go ahead, I’m still waiting for Wonpil.” He releases Mark’s hand and grins at him. “Don’t let the guys flirt with you too much, Mark. They can be quite annoying but they’re just suckers for a pretty face.”

“Enough with the flirting, Park,” Jaebum grits out, placing a protective hand around Mark’s shoulders and Sungjin shakes his head in disbelief.

“I can’t believe it! Oh, this is gold!” he yells, voice delighted. “You’re jealous of me?”

“I’m not jealous,” Jaebum protests. “I’m just protecting my husband from your smarmy attentions, you smartass.”

“I am starting to realize that the only reason you kept him from us for so long is that you’re afraid you can’t handle the competition,” Sungjin challenges, eyebrows raised.

“I’m confident with my husband’s impeccable taste,” Jaebum dismisses, nose held high in stinky confidence.

Mark silences him with a scoff.

“Hold on, Jaebum. Don’t be too confident. For all you know, my taste may have changed.”

Jaebum’s face turns into a scowl, eyes narrowing slightly at him while Sungjin cracks up in unadulterated joy beside them.

“I like him, Jaebum,” Sungjin finally declares after his laugh subsided. “He’s a feisty one.”

“Yes,” Jaebum agrees, eyes still trained on his husband. “I am beginning to realize that.” He tugs at the omega’s arm again, leading Mark inside before he could even protest. He follows docilely until he’s sure that they made some distance and privacy from the other man. Before they could enter the living room, Mark yanks his arm away from Jaebum, turning towards him furiously.

“I can’t believe you, you manipulative bastard!” he sneers, punching his husband’s chest for good measure, making him grimace and rub the spot he had hit.

“What the hell is your problem?” he growls angrily.

“My problem?” Mark seethes. “You are the problem! You lied to me again. You told me this was a ‘business thing’.” Mark emphasizes the last two words by making air quotations.

“Well, technically this is a business thing. I’m in business with at least almost all of the people inside.”

“But this isn’t really a business, is it? This is your Friday hangout with your Korean friends that I wasn’t good enough to be invited until I threatened to leave you.”

Jaebum runs his hand along the strands of his hair, seemingly frustrated and confused by Mark’s actions.

“You said you wanted to meet my friends. Now that I give you the opportunity, you go crazy on me. I don’t understand you at all, Mark.”

“A year ago, or eighteen months ago before we got married, it would have been deemed normal. Do your realize what you’re doing right now? It’s like trying to patch a Band-Aid to an amputation.”

“Why do you always have to be overdramatic?”

“ _Always being overdramatic_? Oh, you knew what my reaction would be and the only reason you knew that is because you have also realized how pathetic this gesture is.”

“And how do you know that?” he challenges, crossing his arms and looking down his beautiful nose at him.

“Why else would you be so sneaky bringing me here?”

“For one, maybe it’s because you never seem to want to be with me!” he snaps angrily. “I knew you’d refuse to come with me tonight so I had to fabricate a business meeting so you wouldn’t be able to say no. Recently, all you’ve done is misread my intentions and misinterpret everything I do, so I couldn’t take the chance of telling you where we’ll go tonight. I thought you’ll react differently tonight, but you proved me otherwise. You’re so determined to put negative slant on everything I do these days that you’re not willing to believe anything I say or do.

“There are no ulterior motives here, Mark. I… I realized that you were right, that I was being unfair on you for not introducing you to my friends. So, I wanted to take a chance and make it right.”

Mark shuts his eyes, avoiding the earnestness in his husband’s eyes but to no avail. He seemed to actually meant what he said.

“Don’t you see how foolish I feel?” he suddenly whispers, eyes now trained to his feet. “Suddenly meeting them after shunning them for more than a year. Your mysterious, snobbish husband who has an aversion to music. How will I live past that?”

Jaebum takes a hesitant step towards him, wrapping his arms around Mark’s slender shoulders and letting their foreheads meet.

“I’ll make sure they know whose fault it was,” he promises.

“How?”

“I’ll get them to believe that I am too selfish to share you with them. I will let them see that I want you all to myself.”

“But that would make you look… _insecure_.”

“Maybe,” he shrugs carelessly. “Or they would take one look at you and they would already have an idea why I acted that way.”

“What do you mean—” Jaebum silences him with a finger on his mouth.

“Sometimes you can be a little bit dense, Mark,” he chides softly, chuckling at the omega’s puzzled face. “I may not have said it much, or at all but you’re so beautiful it hurts to look at you sometimes.”

 _He’s not beautiful_. He knows that but just this once he lets himself believe in Jaebum, as the latter seems to mean what he said. He never looked that honest before, looked so sincere that it warms Mark down to his toes. His husband leans in closer, lips millimeters apart from his when an amused voice interrupts and had them jumping apart from each other.

“Get a room, people. Your honeymoon’s a year and a half over.”

It was Sungjin, coming up from behind them and laughing at their embarrassed faces. Jaebum tries to act nonchalant by dropping his hands inside his pockets, he glances at Mark and finds the omega blushing furiously with eyes averted on the floor. They walked inside the house with pink cheeks and a huge distance between them.

Mark was quiet on the ride home, absorbing the last moment he’d been with Jaebum’s friends. They all have been lovely and Mark enjoyed listening to the music they make together. He’s a bit uncomfortable at first, not knowing how they would take his presence, but they immediately made him feel welcomed and he relaxed instantaneously.

Jaebum’s constant attention might have had an influence as well. He would often go towards his side throughout the night; asking him if he’s okay, if he needs anything or if he feels warm enough. Jaebum’s friends started ribbing him about his overprotectiveness at some point, especially when he won’t let go of Mark when Jooheon asked if they can dance together.

Mark knows it was all an act; the way his husband wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his chin on his shoulders while he talked with his friends or the way Jaebum put Mark on his lap and nuzzled his nose deep in his hair while Sungjin and Wonpil’s voices made a perfect harmony across the bench they're seated on. There was an initial awkwardness with the way they accept each other’s skinship at first, but afterwards everything turned easy that Mark finally felt natural wrapping his arms around Jaebum’s waist.

Now in the confined space of their car, there’s a thick tension brewing in the midst of them; the unspoken change in their dynamics and the almost kiss swirls on top of their heads like a storm waiting to happen.

“Did you have a good time tonight?” Jaebum suddenly asks, voice gruff, interrupting the omega’s musings.

Mark nods his head, smiling when remembering Jaebum’s crazy friends. “Yes, they’re all lovely people.”

“I’m glad,” his husband replies, eyes still glued on the road. “Everybody really liked you.” Mark could hear the warmth in his voice but didn’t know if it was directed at him or his friends.

The car skidded to a stop on a red light and that was enough for Jaebum to glance at Mark, eyes naked with honesty.

"I was proud... to have you there." The omega blinks at him, not knowing how to take his husband's words.

"You do?" he whispers timidly. Jaebum nods his head and smiles softly.

"Yes, _baby_. And I feel guilty for leaving it for so long. I’m sorry if I made you feel like I’m ashamed of you. It is true that I didn’t want to get married to you but never did I become ashamed being with you.”

“Thank you,” the omega breathes quietly, swallowing the lump forming in his throat. He looks out the window, avoiding Jaebum's eyes. “That means a lot.”

Silence envelops them once again, but it didn’t feel unfriendly and heavy anymore. The two men stayed that way, until they arrived back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello?
> 
> So I'm back. LMAO
> 
> It was a very busy week that passed and I had no time writing whatever I had in mind. But, after the weekend, I have finally put them in black and white aaaaand here it is. Haha!
> 
> You guys made my heart go wild with your comments. Thank you for telling me what you think about this story. I hope I still make it interesting for all of you. I will try my best to finish this ASAP.
> 
> PS. Your theories are entertaining to read. Please keep em coming. I love knowing what you guys think. LOL
> 
> See you soon!
> 
> Xoxo,  
> A


	6. For Me

 

> _“You shook, shook me up and I'm really regretting it_  
>  _It's affect affecting me_  
>  _The rules that were made that only apply to me_  
>  _They shake, shake me up_  
>  _Then I'm shaken again_  
>  _I'm really regretting it.”_  
>  -Urban Zakapa, Shake

They arrived back in their house a few minutes after midnight. While Jaebum proceeded to lock the doors, Mark wearily goes straight to the guest bathroom to take a shower, determined to use that room despite Jaebum moving him forcibly back to their own room every night.

Feeling refreshed after his hot shower, Mark burrows himself under the soft sheets, sighing deeply from comfort the moment his cheeks touched his pillow. It was when he was about to sink deep into slumber that the door opens slowly and the omega lets out a resigned sigh as he watches his husband saunters his way towards the foot of the bed to glower at him.

“You’re proving to be the most stubborn person I know, Mark,” he says, feet bare and only wearing a thin shirt and a pair of boxer shorts, hands on his hips while he glances down at him.

“I told you, I no longer want to sleep next to you,” Mark mumbles sleepily, the ends of his sleeves covering half of his palms, only showing the ends of his long fingers. “Go back to your room, Jaebum. And while you’re at it, lock my door on your way out.”

“What if I don’t want to do that?” his husband taunts, voice cocky and laced with something the omega cannot point out.

“I am tired. Can we please continue this argument tomorrow?” Mark whines, digging his head deeper into the pillow, turning to the opposite side facing the wall and ignoring the other man.

Mark hears Jaebum sigh, then felt him pad his way towards the door, turning the lights off and probably walking out to head back to the other room.

 _Finally. A moment of peace._ He thinks to himself when suddenly he feels an arm snaking around his waist and a warm body plastering itself against his own.

Mark’s eyes open wide in shock, turning around to face his husband’s handsome face illuminated by the lights coming from outside.

“What are you doing?” he bellows, pushing himself away but Jaebum only tightens his hold on him, keeping him in place.

“What do you mean?”

“Why are you lying here?”

“Well, since you’re so adamant in staying on this bed, then I will sleep here with you. Now, hush, _baby_. I’m tired too, let’s sleep,” he commands, drawing circles around Mark’s back in an attempt to help him relax.

“Go back to your room!” the omega grumbles, hitting Jaebum’s arm and pushing it lightly.

“ _Our_ room, Mark,” Jaebum corrects him, eyes still closed as he blindly captures the omega’s hand to keep in his chest. “That’s ours. And I won’t go back there without you. So, either you come back there with me or just lay here and sleep in this rather smaller bed with me.”

“I hate you!” he childishly yells at the alpha before huffing and turning around to face the other side of the bed, going rigid when Jaebum envelopes him again between his arms.

“I know,” his husband mutters silently, nuzzling his nose on Mark’s neck as they continue to spoon.

Mark tries his best to relax and go back to sleep, but the proximity of Jaebum and his breath on his neck made it hard to even act nonchalant. Except for the times they’re having sex, the two of them have never been this close before. They have never cuddle like a normal married couple on a Friday night.

Mark feels justified to feel wary of this sudden change in his husband’s behavior.

“I can hear you thinking up to here, _babe_. Will you relax?” Jaebum whispers straight to his ear, making the hairs on Mark’s neck stand up on ends and the familiar heavy pull in his groin to start reeling its head (no pun intended). He closes his eyes tighter, loathing his body for the reaction he still has from Jaebum’s mere presence. Why can’t he just be the same indifferent Jaebum he’s married? That is easier to read, to deal with.

“It’s because I can’t sleep beside you!” Mark snaps, hiding his desire with feigned annoyance.

Jaebum chuckles behind him, his hot breath caressing his bare skin. “We always sleep beside each other for months, baby. Don’t be silly.”

“But you don’t do this to me. You don’t hug me,” _You don’t love me_ , the last statement he didn’t say out loud but the echo of it can be heard in the dead of the night. Mark crawls slowly away from his husband’s arm, putting distance so Jaebum wouldn’t hear or feel his heartbeat pounding loudly in his chest. The arm around his waist finally loosens, letting him go to put the distance he silently asked for; and they stayed that way for a few moments before Jaebum reaches out to him to turn him around and face him, meeting his eyes in the dimmed light.

“You want to hear a bedtime story, then?” he asks, eyes hopeful and Mark dejectedly nods his head, tucking his sweater paws beneath his cheek.

“Do you know the legend of the Celestial Maiden?” he ask in a low voice, eyes glinting in the darkness as Mark shakes his head in response. Jaebum scoots a little bit closer towards him, head now at the edge of the same pillow he’s leaning on. They stayed like that face to face, and Jaebum starts telling the story in his unusually sweet voice.

“There was once a woodcutter, walking on his way home, who stumbled upon a spring, water so blue and clear, nothing like he’s seen before. Much to his amazement, he saw a beautiful woman bathing in the middle of it, hair the color of gold and skin white as snow. He heard about them before, Celestial maidens who come down to earth to play and swim in our waters. The woodcutter has always wanted to be married but his status in life don’t make it easy.

“Not too far from him, he saw the woman’s celestial robe, a white cloth-like material, adorned with very soft feathers of various colors, hanging from a tree branch. Fascinated by the celestial being in front of him, the woodcutter decided to hide the robe and keep the maiden on earth, as she cannot go back to the heavens without it.”

Mark, now invested in the story unconsciously leans further towards his husband, eyes wide eyed in curiosity. “And then, what happened to her?” he prompts, making Jaebum smile ruefully, before he pushes a few strands of hair obscuring Mark’s eyes, tucking them behind his ears.

Mark bites his lip from the rather sweet gesture.

“Well, because the maiden can’t go back to the heavens, the woodcutter proposes to her, cloths her with satin and pearls. He worked day and night to make her happy, to mimic the robe that went missing. It wasn’t long and the maiden bore a child, a girl. One day, while playing, the little girl was heard singing. ‘Don’t cry my baby, the angel wings are just hidden in the storehouse, under the grains of wheat and rice. So, run now my baby, and don’t cry.’ The moment she heard it, the maiden ran towards the storehouse and found her robe hidden there.”

“What happened to her? Did she confront her husband about it? Did he plead guilty?” Mark asks, face now scrunched up in anticipation. Jaebum cups his cheeks with his hand, tenderly caressing the soft skin, making Mark flutter his eyes and lean towards his touch.

“No. She did not,” the alpha regretfully replies, causing dismay to overcome the omega’s face. “She puts on the robe and flew back to the heavens, never to be seen again.”

“But what about her husband and daughter?”

Jaebum shrugs his shoulders. “Legend says that if her daughter puts seven grains of rice inside a bamboo and she shakes it, the maiden will come down and meet with her. Sadly, it only applies to the child, her husband didn’t get the chance to see her ever again.”

“Oh, that’s… sad.”

“But other legends say the woodcutter tried to win the maiden’s heart,” Jaebum starts again. “He runs after her up in the sky, dedicated his life trying to overcome all of the maiden’s father’s trials until he succeeded and stayed married to her. It took him years but he finally won her back.”

Mark looks to be contemplating for a while, trying to understand his husband’s motives in telling him that story. And it dawns to him that maybe he’s telling Mark that he’s the celestial maiden needing his robe so he can go back to his heaven and never see him again. A pang of sadness washed over him upon remembering his husband’s feelings for him and their marriage.

Mark glances back at him, eyes brimming with tears and teeth unconsciously chewing his already swollen lip.

“ _Do you feel trapped too? Did you really think I tricked you?_ ” he asks, the tears in his voice obvious even in the dark.

Jaebum immediately closes the gap between them, pinning Mark with both his broad body and eyes that’s intense with an emotion he’s never seemed to have before. Jaebum looks to be keeping restraint, eyes now closing shut while he sinks into Mark’s warm neck and whispers Hangul there. Mark can catch some familiar words but most of what he’s saying are indistinctive.

“What?” Mark whispers back, curious as to what he’s saying and regretting the times he zoned out when Jinyoung was trying to teach him Korean. He should have listened to him when he said it’ll be helpful for him.

“ _Kajima_ ,” Jaebum continues to whisper, mouth now precariously close to his, making Mark gasp as their eyes meet for a second. “Kajima.”

“What does that me—”

“Fuck it.”

Mark wasn’t able to finish what he has to say because Jaebum captures his lips with his own. The act so sudden that he goes rigid from the contact as the alpha gently nuzzles against him, demanding nothing but just familiarizing the contours of his ripe mouth. Jaebum transfers his weight towards his waist, releasing his arms braced on the side of Mark’s head to let his hand cup the omega’s face again. This time Jaebum’s mouth gradually demands more, moving insistently against Mark’s, that made the latter sigh and melt against his husband’s mouth, making his own exploration. Jaebum’s tongue, which tastes of mint, runs over his lips, seeking entry into his and he opens up for him, wanting this so much he aches.

He experimentally let his fingers flutter carefully at Jaebum’s jaw, feeling his husband’s stubble in his palm, tickling the skin until he shivers to his spine. Mark pulls Jaebum closer and the alpha is more than happy to oblige, his kiss going deeper and heavier than before.

Having sex with Jaebum has always been somewhat intense, it’s the one thing that worked well between the two of them since they got married. Like what his husband mentioned to him before, he really do know where to touch Mark, what makes him go crazy and when to keep it slow to lift him higher. Sex has always been their sole connection in the desert place that is their marriage. However, kissing Jaebum, as Mark realized just now, cannot compare to anything. It’s like he’s being eaten alive, consumed and absorbed into something stronger than just merely physical.

Jaebum reluctantly pulls away for a bit to look at his face, giving him an intense stare that seem to penetrate through his soul and then he smiles. An open and unguarded boyish smile just like he’s seen from him two years ago and Mark’s heart leap in his chest, pounding louder, he’s surprised no one could hear. He didn’t have enough time to catch his breath because once again, Jaebum captures his lips and kissed him again, very thoroughly and plundering it.

The hands that are formerly on each other’s faces are now roaming in parts of their bodies, their limbs intersecting naturally, where one can no longer tell where one starts and one ends. Mark can feel his husband’s erection digging to his stomach, brushing his very own making him moan in his mouth.

“ _Baby_ ,” Jaebum whispers on his skin as he sucks Mark’s neck and going immediately back up the latter’s lips, devouring him using his lips, teeth and tongue. Mark is completely overwhelmed by his husband’s unexpected passion, as he has never been out of control before, always poised and in perfect hold of his desire. Right now, the omega just feels like he’s being swept along with the tide.

His husband pulls himself away from him again, only to get rid of his shirt and Mark’s shorts, leaving both of them with a single article of clothing on their bodies, for Mark his sweatshirt and Jaebum still on his boxers.

“Come here,” Jaebum commands, tugging Mark with a hand behind his neck to kiss him once more and the other to pump the omega’s cock. Everything’s in overdrive for the latter, it’s like Jaebum ignited every part of his body turning it to flames. With barely a pause, his husband surges into him and Mark manages to tear away his mouth from Jaebum’s to cry out; the sound harsh and raw in the silence of the room.

His entire back arches, until only his head touches the bed, while he raises his legs to wrap around the alpha’s waist, his ankles crossing over his taut, pistoning buttocks. Jaebum guides Mark’s arms towards his back, silently asking the omega to hold on to him while they continue to move together. The alpha is making sobbing, desperate sounds into the omega’s mouth but he didn’t let him go, only coordinating his tongue’s frenzied thrust with those of his driving hips.

Jaebum’s hands move up to wrap themselves onto Mark’s soft newly dyed hair, tilting his head almost violently until he could get better access to his mouth. His hot body rubs continuously over his, the caress of skin to skin makes Mark go crazy with every point of contact. One of his husband’s hands sweeps down to lift one of his legs, tilting him to a different position to allow him deeper penetration.

 _More!_ Mark wants to say beneath his ragged breath, but every word he says were eaten completely by his husband’s mouth, so he moves his hand to Jaebum’s ass, the other one pulling closer and deeper by the waistband of his shorts which is now around the top of the alpha’s thighs; and his husband seems to know what Mark needs because he adjusts accordingly and the omega sobs into his mouth, whole body feeling like dying an exquisite death.

He’s like a rollercoaster, spinning higher and higher until he reaches the pinnacle, where he spins out of control until he falls back down to earth, with a shout that’s swallowed by his husband’s mouth. His entire body clenches around him, and Jaebum feeling Mark’s climax wasn’t able to hold back anymore. As much as he wants to keep his control, he is as gone as Mark was. He manages to lift his mouth from the omega long before he releases a hoarse shout that Mark barely recognizes as his name. He arches violently and lifts the omega onto his lap, arms wrapping around Mark’s slender waist while he continues to thrust into him lazily. He hugs him even closer, their chest meeting while the omega’s arms are wrapped around Jaebum’s neck, mouth still nuzzling together.

It didn’t take long and Jaebum brings them to lie both on their backs, putting Mark’s head on top of one arm while the other’s wrapped around his chest. He continuously kisses the omega’s long neck and shoulders, going back to his mouth again like he couldn’t get enough of Mark’s taste. He continues to pet him, until their breathing slows down and they both go back down from their highs.

“God,” Jaebum exhales. “Oh, god Mark that was amazing!”

Mark who is only coming back to himself tenses at his husband’s words, but Jaebum seems to not notice as he’s still stroking him, kissing him and whispering little endearments in his ear. In the year and a half, during which the two of them have sex an average four times a week and sometimes twice on a night, this is the first time that his husband did not utter his standard prayer.

Jaebum lets his fingers form lazy circles on Mark’s overheated skin, hot breath feathering through his hair. He occasionally drops soft kisses on the sensitive skin beneath his ear and delicate jawline. Mark is tensing more and more in his husband’s arms, completely unsure how to take all of this. First, the kisses, the shattering sex, then the absence of those five words, and now the blunt display of affection. It’s as if, just when he has found a way to protect his damaged, fragile and bruised heart, Jaebum still managed to find a way around his defenses and leave him with more vulnerability for pain.

He’s still whispering into Mark’s ear, half-broken Hangul that the latter couldn’t understand at all, trying to pull him closer that Mark finally snaps out of his trance. He couldn’t let Jaebum do this to him again. Not anymore. Not ever. He had hurt him too many times in the past, his careless regard, the infidelity and his blatant contempt for him. He wouldn’t let him into his heart again.

Mark’s way past that.

Finally cluing that Mark’s not into cuddling as he was, Jaebum lifts himself up on his elbow, resting his head into his hand, looking gorgeous in the dimmed light touching his skin.

“What’s wrong?” The omega nearly laughs at the ridiculous question, before struggling in earnest to escape his husband’s heavy arms still wrapped around his soiled torso.

“I need to clean up,” he tells, avoiding Jaebum’s eyes. “The bed needs a new sheet too.”

“Let the maids do that in the morning.”

Mark huffs. “I can’t sleep on a soiled bed. I want new sheets.”

“Don’t be silly,” Jaebum admonishes him, sitting up gracefully. “You’re going to sleep with me on our bed.”

“I won’t,” he says stubbornly, walking towards the en-suite showers but stops in his tracks when Jaebum grabs on his shoulders gently.

“Look at me,” he demands softly, tilting Mark’s chin when he defiantly stares at the alpha’s chest instead of meeting his eyes. “I’m trying to fix this, _baby_.”

“You can’t,” he shakes his head sadly, blinking the tears threatening to come put of his eyelids. “This… whatever this is… it’s irreparable.”

“Why?” the alpha looks confused that Mark almost want to laugh in dark humor.

“Because everything you do feels forced and totally insincere!” Mark hisses in fury. “Every touch, every apology and every endearment feels like you’ve tapped into the Mark Tuan User Manual and learned what makes me tick.”

“Firstly,” Jaebum hisses back. “It’s Mark Tuan- _Im_. And secondly, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He practically shouted, shaking Mark slightly.

“Because you don’t know a lot of things Jaebum! The kisses for one. A year and a half of marriage and not once, did you ever kiss me,” the omega points out. “Surely you must have realized how much it hurt me to know that you despise me so much that the idea of kissing me is so despicable!”

“That’s not—”

“So of course tonight,” Mark continues, not letting Jaebum to interrupt. “Just when you have finally given me the honor of introducing me to your friends, that you decided to sweeten the pot by giving me a few of your kisses. It must have been great that you can conveniently do this and keep the bitch content and muzzled right?

“ _Baby_ , you’re misreading the whole situation again.”

“Don’t call me that! I am not your baby, I was never your baby! I am not going to fall for your so called charms again.”

“What do you want from me?” Jaebum yells in frustration, hands falling from Mark’s shoulders and going straight to his head to tug at his hair. He looks utterly confused and exasperated that the omega almost felt sorry for him. But he stubbornly stares him down.

“I want a divorce,” he whispers in a steely voice, causing Jaebum to step towards him and cup his cheek.

“I am sorry,” the alpha groans helplessly. “ I am sorry for more things than you could possibly imagine but that is one thing I couldn’t give you.”

“Then we have nothing to talk about. Please, just go back to your room, Jaebum,” he pleads and his husband hesitates, his eyes lingering on Mark’s face for a while, before he finally sighs and abruptly leaves.

~

 

> _“Careful what you wish for_  
>  _We're looking for angels in the darkest of skies_  
>  _Saying that we wanted more_  
>  _I feel like I'm falling, but I'm trying to fly_  
>  _Where does all the good go?_  
>  _We're looking for answers in the highest of highs_  
>  _But will we ever, ever know?”_  
>  -CHVRCHES, Miracle
> 
>  

Mark wakes up the next morning on the guest bedroom—alone and he’s both relieved and saddened by that. A quick glance on the time on his phone tells him that he slept through breakfast and the gloom outside his windows tells him that it’s probably going to rain. He wasn’t able to let the thought sink in because he runs towards the toilet to throw up the measly amount of food he consumed the day before. Mark ignores the ever-present queasiness, feeling like someone with a hangover while he gingerly heads back downstairs to the kitchen to get himself some breakfast.

Fortunately, there were no foul smell emanating from the room to trigger his nausea, however, Jaebum’s already there, sitting on the breakfast nook, staring at his coffee mug thoughtfully. He looks up at the omega and eyes instantaneously sweeps over his figure, taking note of the worn out shirt, sweatpants and slip-ons.

“How are you feeling bab… Mark?”

“Fine,” he mumbles, getting himself a strawberry milk before turning towards the breakfast bar and sitting opposite his husband.

“Aren’t you going to eat anything?” he asks softly and Mark grimaced, just the idea of food making him feel queasy.

“I’m fine,” he swore softly.

“You’re obviously not fine,” the alpha growls. “I don’t know what you think starving yourself will achieve.”

“I’m hardly starving myself, just skipping breakfast” Mark says looking offended as he opens the bottle cap of his strawberry milk.

“You look like you missed too many meals already,” he shakes his head and takes a scathing glare up and down the omega’s thin frame.

“It’s none of your business what I do, like I had no business with whatever you did with yours for months. Now quit it, Jaebum.”

And that’s that. Silence falls over the two of them once more, save from the sound of the rain now pouring heavily outside. Jaebum sighs in defeat and continues reading his newspaper and drinking his coffee. Mark, on the other hand, is busy on his phone, texting Jinyoung of what he’s suspicions might be. His bestfriend replies in a span of a minute, telling Mark that as much he wants to help, the kid inside of him feels like coming out. So instead, he recommends the latter his doctor, making Mark swear that Jinyoung will be updated as soon as he gets it confirmed.

“What are you doing today?” Jaebum quietly asks, cutting off Mark’s insistent tapping on his phone to look back up at him.

“I need to do some shopping,” he answers distractedly, eyes going back to his phone to send Jinyoung a smile emoji. “I was thinking of heading to the city for some stuff.”

He is thinking of buying a dozen of home pregnancy kits, a task that he had delayed for much too long.

“I’m running low on some things too,” Jaebum carelessly puts out. “I’ll drive you there.” Mark can’t help but let out a wry smile.

“Wow, that was just a transparent lie that I actually feel a secondhand embarrassment for you.” Jaebum smiles wryly at Mark’s observation, chuckling as he folds his newspaper and places it back on the table.

“Give me a break, it has been an eventful twenty-four hours and I’m not on top form,” he jokes but his eyes are still somberly running over Mark’s face and body in concern. “I don’t want you to drive, Mark. You look a bit out of it. Do you think you’re coming down with something?”

 _Yes. Pregnancy_.

“I’m fine,” he says instead, forcing his face to look fine when really the toll of his unconfirmed pregnancy is pulling him down.

“What time did you have to leave?” his husband asks and Mark sighs softly, not really in the mood for Jaebum trailing behind him while he sneakily stashes his grocery basket with pregnancy kits. Jaebum would notice that.

“I am really am running low on some things, Mark,” he says seriously, seemingly reading his mind. “I will leave you alone to do your own shopping.”

He chews his lower lip in trepidation, not missing how Jaebum’s eyes trained on the movement of his tongue when it soothes the sting of his teeth when he bit too hard.

“Okay, give me half an hour to get ready,” _to shower, to get dressed, to throw up and such._ Jaebum nods.

 

Jaebum stayed good in his word and left Mark mostly alone to do his shopping in a very high end mall he has driven him to. He had the first twenty minutes away from Jaebum, which he immediately spent stashing ten home pregnancy test, in case his husband changes his mind about leaving him alone. However, the alpha surprisingly did nothing but just to text or call Mark every five minutes, asking him if he’s doing okay or if he needs Jaebum. It is after the tenth call that Mark growls in irritation and yelled at Jaebum that he’s done with his shopping. The latter suggested they eat lunch first before heading home and after a few tedious banters, Mark relents and follows Jaebum into one of the restaurants.

The upscale and obviously expensive restaurants seemed to be one Jaebum patronized, because even though it is lunch time on a Saturday and people are lining up outside, they were immediately given a table at the far back, away from too much people milling on the heart of the place. Mark watches the staff fawn over his husband and wondered how often he’s been here and if he’s brought any of his conquests here. His suspicion was confirmed when the waitress turns to face him, a slight smirk pasted on her red lips.

“And for you, Sir? Your order?”

“Your Caesar salad, no dressing, some toast and sparkling water,” he orders brusquely.

“And have you decided on your main course yet?” she asks, still with her annoying smirk.

Mark shakes his head. “That’s it.” The woman is really getting on his nerves.

“Mark.” Jaebum leans forward in concern. “You didn’t have breakfast. A salad wouldn’t be substantial enough to be called a meal. At least order something else.”

“I’m really not hungry,” Mark shrugs dismissively, handing the thick leather-bound menu towards the annoying waitress’ hands.

“If you’re on some crazy diet—”

“I’m not on a diet!” he snaps. “Just please stop manipulating every aspect of my life.”

Jaebum’s jaw clenches and his lips purses in obvious anger but surprisingly he lets it go before ordering a staggering amount of food. Once they were left alone, he leans back on his chair and looks at Mark thoughtfully.

“Seriously, Mark,” he mutters, breaking the silence the omega stubbornly refuses to break. “What is going on with you?”  
Mark gapes at him, raising his eyebrows in sarcasm at the absurdity of his husband’s question.

“Aside from the obvious,” the alpha replies. “And please, keep the sarcasm down to a minimum.”

“Well, aside from the fact that I am totally unhappy with my life, there’s really nothing else going on with me.” This he said with a shrug of his shoulders, looking quite nonchalant that got Jaebum reeling.

“You’re lying to me.” He looks incredulous at the fact that Mark chuckles at his statement. “Are you having an affair?”

“Back to that are we?” Mark breathes as he laughs mirthlessly. “Not everyone stoops to infidelity when nothing’s going on right in their lives.”

“What does that supposed to mean?” he asks, voice obviously offended as he leans closer across Mark, all brooding and intimidating.

“It means,” Mark starts to say in an exaggerated and annoying slowness. “That I am not the one having extramarital affairs here. It means that I had the misguided notion that the sacred vows we took were just that, sacred vows. It means that I am not the one who deliberately goes out in public to dish out how my life at home sucks; I am not the one who humiliates my spouse in the worst way possible by sauntering my men and women around my arms.”

“I admit that I did some things to deliberately hurt you…” Jaebum whispers a beat later. “You were misled into believing that I loved… I love you.”

The rest of what he wants to say was interrupted by the arrival of their drinks. Jaebum gives a slanted look at the woman while she slowly pours drinks on each of their glasses, waiting in silence until she finishes. The moment she walks off, Jaebum’s gaze goes back to Mark.

“I thought you knew about your father’s plans. I thought you’re fully on board with it,” he admits softly.

“And what exactly are my father’s plans?” Mark asks, wary that Jaebum might change the subject.

“He has something that is important to me,” he finally answers, sighing deeply. “And the only way he’ll let me have it is if I pay a huge amount of money for it and I marry you.”

“I see.” Mark gaze trails down to his fingers, fidgeting on the folded napkin placed elegantly on the table. “So in essence, I am tossed as your unwanted free gift?”

“In order for me to get what I wanted, I have to accept you as part of the deal. I thought…” his voice tapers off and he shrugs his shoulders helplessly.

“You honestly thought I’d do something despicable like having my father blackmail you just to have you?” Jaebum hesitantly nods his head. “Well, you got what you wanted. We’re both obviously suffering in this sham, so why don’t you just let me go? Why won’t you give me that divorce?”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that, Mark. I think your father knew we’ll want an out for this _sham_. So he put a clause into the contract.”

 _This is it_. Mark thinks as he stares back at his husband’s contrite face.

“What clause?” he meekly asks, not sure if he wants to hear it but curious at the same time.

“Your food,” the waitress interrupts, laying down the food in great flair onto the table. Jaebum conceals his irritation by the barest of threads while he waits for the woman to finish.

“Will there be anything else?” she asks a minute later.

“No!” Jaebum impatiently answers, flicking his hand in the air to signal for her to leave. She swallows down nervously and walks out from the immediately. Mark barely registered the interaction between the two of them as his eyes are trained on the feast laid out on the table. Pastas, salads, steak, chicken and fish; the swirling smells pulling and churning his stomach to unease.

“Mark?” Jaebum’s voice seems to come from far away. “What’s wrong?”

“So much food,” he mutters, covering his nose from the smell.

“I thought we could share.”

“I told you, I wasn’t hungry,” he flares weakly, the will to be mad at his husband barely registering as he tries to keep his mind away from barfing on his plate. “Please finish what you’re telling about that clause.”

Jaebum looks vaguely irritated, but probably finding something in Mark’s eyes and relents.

“Basically, we have an out,” he began slowly. “We give him a son; an alpha and we get out of this marriage without repercussions.”

Mark thought he’s ready to hear it, but the blunt truth still stabbed a deeper gash on his chest, twisting and planting itself onto his heart. He takes a couple of minutes to compose himself back to feigned serenity and glances back at Jaebum.

“An _out_ ,” he repeats hoarsely. “Every time you touch me, that’s basically all you ever think about. An out?” Mark laughs bitterly. “How diligently you worked on your goal too, very often and thoroughly.”

“Mark,” Jaebum whispers his name in misery. Nothing else, but just his name. Knowing that nothing he could say will alleviate the omega’s pain.

“My god,” Mark whispers, swiping a few errant tears, silently furious at himself for letting Jaebum see it. “Every time you came, you practically prayed for me to give you a son. When normally people would forget their name thirty seconds after their orgasm, yours was for me to give you a son because life with me is so incredibly unbearable for you.”

“Mark,” Jaebum tries again, voice apologetic.

“So this son,” Mark starts to say, keeping the strain from his voice to a minimum but failing. “I assume you don’t really want him? Like me, he’s just a means to an end?”

“I’ve never really thought about it,” the alpha admit uncomfortably.

“Well, surely you wouldn’t want anything to do with him. Spawned by a man you despise and carrying the blood of your enemy.”

“The child has never seemed real to me,” he mutters in brutal honesty. “I have a vague idea that I will move back to South Korea and leave him to you. I have never thought beyond that.”

“With a father who felt nothing for him, another father who don’t want to get pregnant and a megalomaniacal grandfather waiting at the corner, it’s probably best the last one did not make it,” Mark concludes sadly, eyes brimming with tears at the realization that his son’s life would have been ruined completely if he was born.

“Don’t say that,” Jaebum grits out, hand shooting up to grab Mark’s fist across the table. “He would have been loved. He would have had a great life.”

“How are so sure of that? When you just said that you don’t even know what you feel about him?”

“Because I know you,” Jaebum says. “You have the capacity to love that boggles the mind. Of course you would have loved that baby with all of your heart. It’s the only way you know to be.”

“How am I supposed to live with you now, Jaebum?” Mark asks him helplessly. “It’s hard enough before but now, just the thought of going back at the house with you is unbearable.” Jaebum’s hand loosens from Mark’s and he uses it now to cup the omega’s face.

“We’ll get through this,” he whispers and Mark flinches from his touch. There was an emotion that flickers in his eyes but he immediately masked it with his icy indifference and lets his hand drop from the omega completely.

“I’m tired,” Mark says quietly. “Take me back to the house.”

Jaebum nods and summons the waiter for the check.They never talked again after that.

 

“Jaebum,” Mark quietly breaches the alpha’s studio later that night. In all the times they lived in the house, this is the first time he’ll enter the sanctity of his husband’s space. It was rather small from what he expected, with walls padded with acoustic foams to keep the sound stellar when his husband listens and records music. There are complicated buttons on a wide table in the middle of the room Mark’s not sure what for and at the far corner is a booth with a microphone perched in the middle, with the same complicated buttons beside it.

“Mark,” his husband intones huskily, standing up from his chair abruptly, almost tipping his swiveling chair in the process. “Come in.”

He seems eager to have him there and Mark doesn’t know how to take that because it’s far from the reception he’s expecting. He was ushered towards a sofa, while his husband takes the easy chair across it, gazing at him thoughtfully in the silence of the room.

“I want to know why,” Mark finally whispers, after a lengthy pause. “I want to know what is that thing so important to you that my father has before.”

Jaebum is silent for a while, eyes closing in contemplation that Mark loses hope that his husband will tell him the truth,

“My father is old and sick,” he says in a low voice, eyes trained on his hands that are clasped together. “There’s a farm that he grew up in _Ilsan_ ,. It meant a lot to him because it has been with our family for generations. My great grandfather gave that to his son, then my grandfather passed it on my father as he's the eldest son. He’s always wanted to retire over there and eventually be buried on its soil. Unfortunately, my father ran into unlucky financial decisions that eventually resulted to him losing the farm. Before having me, he and my mother found their footing back and became stinking rich, however, the farm has already been purchased by your father, and when _appa_ asked if he could buy it back, with whatever price your father wants, your father continuously refused to sell it.

“The place is pretty worthless for someone of your father’s stature in life. The place is just a farm, no other treasures but just its substantial soil that’s good for corn and rice. I believe that he’s just enjoying the leverage he has on my father.” He shrugs helplessly. “All my life, I remember _appa_ singing high praises about that land. He always regretted not having his only child born there or any of my cousins. The guilt of losing a huge chunk of our family history ate at him and the quest to get the land back almost became an obsession.”

Jaebum sighs deeply, letting his hand run through his hair in obvious discomfort of telling Mark about his dad.

“His health started to deteriorate badly. Three years ago he was diagnosed with cancer and the doctors are no longer optimistic, saying there’s nothing we could do but spend it happily with him as much as we could. Even surgery or chemo won’t work. My father’s basically one step away from kicking the bucket. I…” Jaebum clears his throat. “I wanted to give him his pride and dignity back before he dies. I want to make him happy, so I approached your father, tried to plead him to sell the land to me. At first he refused... but when he saw how your reaction was to me that night, he changed his mind and came up with the terms of sale as you know now.”

Mark flushes deeply at the remembrance of how infatuated he was on the brooding Korean man on their party. Finally recognizing his unwitting role in this façade.

“How’s your father?” Mark asks tightly and Jaebum nods his head, baring a painful smile the former knows was hard for him to keep.

“Happy and contented now that he’s home,” he replies, voice uncharacteristically quivering.

“And your family knows about this ‘deal’ you made for the land?” Mark asks, his own voice high with tension.

“Yes.”

Mark chuckles mirthlessly, shaking his head in finally finding the answers he’s always asked for.

“No wonder they never expressed any desire to meet me or venture any friendship with me,” he tells more to himself than the man across him. Clearing his throat Mark glances at Jaebum and with the sincerest voice, says, “I’m sorry about your father and what my father did to you. I understand now how hard and impossible your situation must have been.”

“Even so, I should have treated you less—” he begins to say, voice laced with bitterness and self loathing.

“Never mind, thanks for telling me,” Mark cuts off, not really into hearing whatever moans of regret and self crimination his husband has to say. He carefully stands on his feet, mindful of the dizziness that might take him down.

“Mark, wait… please…”

“I don’t think there’s nothing more to say, Jaebum.” He turns towards the door.

“What about us? Our marriage?”

“I suppose we go on as we usually do,” Mark shrugs nonchalantly. “Except for the intimacy Jaebum. I really couldn’t handle any of those. We’ll lead separate lives—”

“I don’t want that,” the alpha says hoarsely, almost horrified by the prospect.

“It won’t be for long anyway,” he mutters faintly, wondering why the door seems to be getting farther when he’s just standing on his feet.

“What do you mean?” his husband asks in alarm as Mark tries to walk towards the door with his step faltering and eyes squinting. Jaebum grabs him on both of his shoulders and forcibly sits him on a chair nearby. “That’s it! I’m calling a doctor, you look like you’re—!”

“ _I’m pregnant_ ,” he whispers weakly, voice quivering and messy but enough to cut his husband’s tirade. Jaebum goes pale and sinks down to his heels to stare at Mark’s eyes.

“Are you sure?” he asks quietly, lifting his hand towards the omega’s face to brush his hair away from his eyes.

“I just took 5 pregnancy test in a span of three hours since we got back here,” he confesses. “All of them resulted to two red strips, telling me I’ll become a father in a few months time. I have five more to try upstairs but I can’t get myself to drink more water,” he jokes weakly. Jaebum didn’t say anything but kept his eyes glued to Mark’s face.

“So you see, Jaebum. You’re just a few months time away from getting rid of your husband, child and life. No need for pretentious appearances on your business parties and no need to humor your sham-husband with Friday night hangout with your Korean friends.” His voice trembles with the effort to sound casual but Jaebum can obviously see through his attempt to look nonchalant than he actually is. He doesn’t touch Mark, but the hands gripping the arms of the chair his on looked close to losing their restraint.

“You still need to see a doctor,” Jaebum says softly and Mark nods his head.

“I already told Jinyoung about it, we already made an appointment to his doctor so I can get a complete check up.” Jaebum’s eyes flickers with a look akin to hurt and he stands back on his feet, letting Mark have his space again.

“They would like you,” he suddenly mutters, his eyes intent on the omega’s face.

“What?”

“My family, they would all like you,” he elaborates and Mark frowns not sure why the other man needed to clarify that.

“I doubt that, Jaebum. I wouldn’t feel any kind of compassion to a man who deliberately sets out to trap my brother or son in a marriage he did not want.”

“But you did not—”

“They think I did and once you made up your mind about someone it’s hard to change that.”

“It’s not as hard as you think,” he says under his breath, making Mark scoff.

“I don’t know why you have to say stuff like these,” the omega shrugs dismissively. “Soon we’ll both getting what we want; freedom from this sham we’re both trapped into.”

“What about the baby?” Jaebum surprisingly asks.

“If I have an alpha, you will fulfill your terms of agreement with my father; you’ll be free and the baby will no longer be your concern. I only ask that you leave us this house and save a money solely for my son’s education before we divorce. After that I can probably manage on my own.”

“You seem to have given this some thought,” Jaebum says tonelessly, a scowl forming on his face.

“I’ve been thinking about it all afternoon. Please, Jaebum. Just leave a money for my son, I won’t use it and leave it for him only. I only ask for the house and nothing more.”

“You think I care about the money?” he suddenly explodes, losing his icy reserve in spectacular fashion. “Do you think I would nitpick pennies for my husband and child’s welfare?”

“ _Ex-husband_ ,” Mark reminds tentatively, fascinated by the obvious fury brewing in his husband’s eyes, especially after his correction.

“Nothing’s set in stone, it could still be a girl,” Jaebum declares, making Mark’s face dramatically pale. Honestly, he didn’t think of that possibility at all.

“It’s a boy. It’s got to be!” he says, almost hysterically, abruptly standing and swaying on his feet.

“Shhh… I’m sorry. I… Look Mark, I know this is stressful for you. But I will be here with you for as long as you need me.”

“Not for long,” Mark assures him earnestly. “I’m sure you wanted to move on with your real life. Probably get married again and have your own children.”

“This is my life” he reminds. “I am already married and having a child.”

“Yes,” Mark agrees sadly. “But it’s not the life you wanted. Not the husband and child you wanted. It’s certainly not the life I wanted.”

“So what the hell are you saying? That you wanted to get married to someone else and have his kid?” the alpha suddenly snarls, and Mark jumps in surprise at his sudden change of mood.

“Why are you being like this? I thought this is what you wanted. Every time we have sex this is basically what you asked of me—”

“I know,” he interrupts savagely. “You don’t have to remind me.”

“Well,” Mark huffs, turning towards the door once again. “I’m off to bed.”

“Did you eat?” Jaebum asks in concern.

“Some toast.”

“I don’t like how you’ve been managing your meals, Mark. If you want to go through this pregnancy, at least eat right.”

“I know that but it’s just my body’s adjusting and I can’t take anything more than a toast or crackers. It’ll be fine in a few weeks time. I’m sure my appetite will go back with a vengeance. Anyway, don’t worry about me. Why don’t you go out and celebrate instead? Go into that recent conquest of yours, throw a party and stay the night. I won’t mind.”

“When is your doctor’s appointment?” Jaebum asks calmly, ignoring Mark’s tirade like it never happened. The omega stubbornly purses his lips in silence and Jaebum merely sighs in defeat when Mark walks towards the door, hand turning the doorknob.

“I was never, not once, become unfaithful to you, Mark. I have never touched them. Not one of them.”

Mark stiffens, back facing his husband while he mentally debates on staying and hearing what he has to say or walking out and letting it be heard on deaf ears.

His hesitation is enough of an answer.

“I want you to know that I know how it looked like because I want to hurt your father. I want him to see that he didn’t have anything against me in forcing me to marry you. But in doing so I haven’t spared much thought on what I was doing to you. I want you to know that it wasn’t you I was trying to hurt.”

“So you keep saying,” Mark mumbles, a quiver betraying his feigned cavalier. “But look who’s always getting wound up hurt in the end?”

With that Mark turns the doorknob and walks out of his husband’s studio, the soft click of the door becoming more and more familiar and usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh good heavens, this chapter probably zapped my energy. Hahahaha!
> 
> Well there goes the answers we're all looking for. How was it?
> 
> As usual, your comments are giving this heart of mine life. Thank you so so much. ISTG you don't know how much you make me happy... I love you all.
> 
> HMU on Twitter: @morkzone
> 
> See you soon!
> 
> Xoxo,  
> A


	7. For You

 

> _“And you had best believe_  
>  _That you cannot build what I don't need_  
>  _And I know I need to feel relief_  
>  _And I know you'll never fold_  
>  _But I believe nothing that I'm told_  
>  _And I know I need to feel relief.”_  
>  -CHVRCHES, Leave A Trace

“What are you doing here?” Mark exclaims after seeing his husband in their kitchen, rummaging through the fridge barefoot, half naked and only clad in baggy sweatpants. He turns slowly and the omega feels his throat dries from the sight of his body.

God, he looks so much more beautiful than he remembered.

“I live here,” his husband deadpans, pouring orange juice on two glasses while his other hand’s lazily scratching his naked torso. Mark’s eyes trained over that area and only snaps when he hears the beep of their coffee maker, signaling that it’s ready.

“You are usually at work during this time,” the omega points out, clearing his throat to distract himself from the sight of Jaebum’s abs and broad shoulders.

“Yes, but since you’re so stubborn in turning yourself invisible before I go out and come home for work, I figured that the only way I’ll have an idea of what is going on with you is if I stay home.”

“But what about your work?” Mark inquires, running an errant hand on his bedhead to make it at least presentable.

“Mark, I’m the boss. I think it’s one of the perks of owning a business, I can take occasional days off without prior notice.” His tone is light, almost friendly but his eyes raked on Mark’s body hungrily, taking in his fuller face and slightly rounder figure.

They had been living past each other for three months, as Mark deliberately evaded his husband when he was in the house. He completely ignored his text messages, never answered his calls and only let it go to voicemail. Mark would make sure to only go downstairs when Jaebum’s supposed to be at work. And during night, he’ll either go at Jackson’s place to sleep or brew himself inside his chosen room until he’s sure Jaebum’s asleep at the master bedroom.

Jaebum, getting somewhat fed up by being ignored, started posting sticky notes on their fridge; asking Mark if he wants to have lunch or dinner together. When that didn’t work, he started leaving home cooked breakfast for the omega, sticking a note on Mark’s bedroom door telling him to eat it. Mark, even with his compassionate heart can’t put himself to eat the delicious looking kimchi fried rice his husband personally prepared, so he would leave it on the table, let Jaebum see he doesn’t care about whatever he did anymore.

Even with this though, the alpha persistently tried “communicating” with Mark; the breakfast didn’t stop coming, it only added a full course lunch and dinner, being delivered to their house promptly from high end restaurants that got Mark finally caving. But of course, he’ll choose to deny that by saying it’s the child inside his body he’s thinking about.

The sticky notes continued, littering their house like rainbows just exploded from the sky and decided to land on their walls and doors. The notes vary from asking Mark how he is to reminders of taking his vitamins because the omega might forget to drink on time. Jaebum never entered Mark’s room uninvited anymore and Mark never made any inviting. It’s as if they’re no longer existing in each other’s lives for nearly three months, until now. So to see his husband standing in their kitchen looking like a handsome bad boy, the omega’s traumatized to say the least.

“Why are you interested in what’s going on with me?” he finally asks, walking over the fridge to get strawberry milk, making sure he’s got a good few feet away from Jaebum’s body standing in front of the kitchen counter.

“You’re my husband and you’re having my child. We also live in the same house and having no idea what’s going on with each other’s lives sounds abnormal, don’t you think?”

Jaebum passes Mark the glass of orange juice he prepared and grins boyishly. Mark, on the other hand, merely rolls his eyes and ignores the offered glass.

“Works for me,” he mumbles casually, turning towards the cabinet to fetch himself a cereal bowl.

“I can see that,” Jaebum acquiescence, padding his way towards Mark’s back, getting himself a bowl as well. He is standing too close to him that the heat radiating from his naked chest can be felt through Mark’s thin sleeveless shirt. The warm, musky scent that’s so Jaebum envelopes the omega and he closes his eyes to shut the onslaught of sensations flooding through his system by being close to his husband again. He stayed behind Mark more than necessary before moving away abruptly, leaving him tensed and bereft. When he turns to face him, Jaebum’s already shaking a huge amount of cereal flakes on his bowl, and upon realizing that Mark’s watching him, lifts the box enquiringly.

He sighs dejectedly before carrying his strawberry milk and empty bowl towards the table, where he sits across Jaebum to watch him sprinkle his bowl with the same amount of cereals he has, even topping it with strawberry halves and sliced banana that must have been prepared before he came downstairs.

It was the kitchen staff’s day off today and Mark doesn’t have anything fancy that he wishes to eat for breakfast, except for the only cravings his having; strawberries. He continued to watch Jaebum pour a generous amount of milk into his cereal before giving him one of his blinding smiles. Mark nods his thanks and starts eating his food with unease.

In record time, Jaebum’s already done eating before Mark can get halfway through his food; his husband leaps from his chair to rummage around their fridge again and looks triumphant after producing a grapefruit, cutting it in half and slyly placing it beside Mark’s side, while he grimaced after starting to try his own.

“I thought you didn’t like grapefruit?” Mark suddenly breaks the silence between them which made Jaebum grin at him boyishly with his hair, in serious need of cutting, flopping on his forehead endearingly.

“I didn’t,” Jaebum admits. “But I thought I’d try it anyway.”

“Why?” Mark asks curiously. His husband merely shrugs his shoulders and Mark decides he really doesn’t care, so he didn’t push for a response.

“So, has the morning sickness completely finished?” He suddenly asks after a long silence and the omega only makes a noncommittal sound at the back of his throat, not really in the mood to be cautious to how it’ll be interpreted. However, Jaebum glances at him with an unreadable expression on his face and Mark sighs in defeat before shaking his head.

“No, not completely. But it’s better than before,” he mutters, going back to his now soggy cereals.

“I see,” Jaebum breathes, still gazing at his eyes. “What are your plans today?”

“I’m going to spend the whole morning with Jinyoung and the baby,” Mark replies, smiling to himself at the memory of his nephew, looking just like his fathers; getting Jinyoung’s cunning eyes and Jackson’s goofy smile. His best friend gave birth to a beautiful baby boy they named Bambam just a few days after Mark had his own pregnancy confirmed.

“Mind if I tag along?” Jaebum suddenly asks, making the omega frown in the prospect of his husband “tagging along” with him all morning.

“Well…” he stalls, darting his eyes away from him.

“I have some business to discuss with Jinyoung anyway.”

Mark’s ears perk up at that, putting his mind on high alert and eyes inquiringly at his husband.

“What business?” he asks.

“It’s about his loan,” Jaebum insidiously answers.

“What about their loan?” Mark’s voice raises in alarm but his face remain impassive. “I don’t want you upsetting him, Jaebum.”

“Well, it’s a better time to do it now since you’ll be there as a moral support. Or I can tell him some other time when he’s more vulnerable.”

“What are you going to tell him?” he now asks in panic.

“I don’t think that’s any of your concern anymore, Mark,” he says in an annoyingly casual voice. “Now, why don’t you hop into the shower while I clean up here?”

Mark shakes his head fervently. “Jaebum, don’t do this.”

“I want you to know that I don’t have an aversion in doing simple household chores. I can handle this, Mark,” the alpha says, deliberately misunderstanding.

“You know that is not what I meant,” he hisses furiously, that got the other man making a sarcastic surprised face which only infuriated Mark more.

“If you want me to accompany you to the shower, you should know that I have no qualms with that as well.” He grins at him lasciviously, teeth glinting in the bright morning light. Mark makes a growling sound at the back of his throat and turns around abruptly, walking out of his incorrigible husband to take a shower— _alone_.

He refused to talk to Jaebum for the rest of the ride, only letting the sound of the radio fill the silence between them. As soon as they arrived at the Wang household, Mark hops out of the car and left Jaebum to fend for himself, ringing the doorbell to signal Jinyoung that he’s arrived.

The said man opens the door, already expecting Mark with a bright smile on his face and open arms ready for him to be engulfed to. Mark steps into Jinyoung’s embrace immediately, noting how he still retained some of the weight during his pregnancy but nevertheless, his best friend still maintained his good looks, now added with a radiance that only having a child could bring.

After pulling from Mark’s tight embrace, Jinyoung finally notices Jaebum looming behind, offering him a smile as well.

“Jaebum-hyung, what a surprise,” he nods, ushering both of them inside. “I didn’t expect to see you today.”

“I took the day off,” he says casually, giving the other omega a side hug before finally stepping inside. “And since I heard Mark’s visiting you, I thought I’d come along and see that baby of yours again.”

 _Again_? Mark thinks as he glances at both men standing in the doorway. He’s surprised to hear that Jaebum bothered to visit Bambam before and got confused that Jinyoung failed to mention it. “Also, I needed to discuss something with you,” he finally says, putting Mark on high alert again as he eyes his best friend. However, Jinyoung looked unbothered, only nodding and smiling unknowingly as they walk in the living room.

His husband immediately gravitates towards Bambam, who’s lying on his blue cot, perched up on their coffee table with exaggerated corner rubber foams that Mark saw Jackson tediously installed a few weeks ago. The omega watches Jaebum’s entire face light up the moment he sees the baby, sinking to his haunches until he’s almost level with his face.

“He’s grown a fair bit since I saw him last, Jinyoung,” the alpha observes in delight, reaching out to grab the flailing arms of Bambam.

“He should be with the amount of food he eats.” Jinyoung grimaces and Jaebum laughs at that, nodding his head in agreement.

Mark takes a step back, feeling like he’s been morphed into an alternative universe upon seeing his husband become at ease in his presence with a baby in the mix. He’s now crooning at Bambam in Korean, a song so soft and smooth coming from his honey voice. Mark felt a pang akin of envy upon seeing him act like that to another baby, when he doesn’t even feel anything for Mark’s.

“Would either of you like something to drink?” Jinyoung politely asks.

Mark shakes his head, eyes still glued to his husband now holding the infant in his arms.

“Do you have strawberry milk?” Jaebum asks and Jinyoung nods, leaving both of them alone with his child.

Jaebum starts to make faces at Bambam and the alpha chuckles when the boy yells in delight every time he’d scrunch up his face.

“I didn’t know you like children,” Mark whispers, unconsciously dropping one of his palms in a protective manner around his small bump which the alpha didn’t miss.

“I like them well enough,” he says casually, cajoling Bambam in his arms. “I am quite fond of them actually.”

Mark tries to disguise the stab of pain from his words, swallowing the hurt but the bitterness just takes over him and he can’t help the snide remark blooming in his chest to come out.

“Any baby, except mine, of course.”  
Jaebum inhales deeply, eyes flaring with fury that he contains because of the baby in his arms.

“Mark, if you’re going to be unreasonable, please do that when I have no baby in my arms. That is not true,” Jaebum grits out, keeping his voice jovial even though he looks like he’s about to snap. Feeling a flare of possessive resentment, Mark held out his arm towards the baby, acting childish as he scowls.

“I would like to hold _my_ nephew, if you don’t mind.”  
Jaebum raises a snarky eyebrow at him, smiling in a mixture of loss and amusement as he deposits the serene baby in the omega’s arms. He rose from his position and stares at Mark holding the baby for a while, smiling as the latter coos and raises Bambam as far as his arms could go.

“While you are busy here, I will have that conversation with Jinyoung now,” his husband declares, stretching lazily.

“Jaebum…” Mark intones in alarm.

“Stay here with Bambam, I will be back,” he murmurs softly, leaving the omega as he heads towards the kitchen before the former could even utter another word.

Mark strains to hear the conversation happening in the other room and even moved closer to the door to hear a glimpse of what his husband’s business with Jinyoung is, but only felt dejected upon hearing both men talking in rapid Korean.

“Would you teach me, Hangul when you grow up Bambam, so Uncle Mark would know things?” he whispers at his nephew, who is now staring up at him with his doe eyes and drooling mouth. “Will you promise something to Uncle Mark? Could you promise that you’ll treat your spouse special for the rest of his or her life? Be like your Papa Jackson, okay? Be loving, alright?” the omega quietly whispers, expecting a confirmation from the three month old infant. But when Bambam merely stares back at him, Mark just sighs in defeat, realizing how crazy he sounded by making an infant promise him something.

It wasn’t long and the two Korean men walk back to the room, Jaebum looking relaxed with two cartons of strawberry milk in his hand while Jinyoung looks calm, smiling that radiates still. Jaebum sits next to Mark on the sofa, passing the carton towards him, giving him a knowing look when he starts to protest.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come with you yesterday, Mark-hyung,” Jinyoung begins to say, now carrying Bambam in his arms while he looks apologetic at the older omega. “How did your check up go?”

Mark widens his eyes in alarm, signaling Jinyoung to not say anything since Jaebum’s just a feet away, who’s now sitting up straight and eyeing Mark like a hawk.

“It’s fine,” Mark says flippantly, making his voice sound nonchalant as much as he could.

Unfortunately, Jinyoung didn’t get the memo since he asks, “Did the doctor say something about your dizzy spells? Is it serious?”

Mark can literally feel Jaebum tensing beside him, his piercing glare drilling the side of his face while he tries to look impassive.

“It was no—nothing,” he stammers.

“Dizzy spells?” Jaebum finally asks, voice dangerously low. Mark purses his lips in sheer stubbornness and the alpha tries glancing at Jinyoung for answers.

“Jinyoung…” the alpha warns when the two omega eyed each other in a silent conversation. Mark paling at the prospect of Jaebum knowing his real condition.

“Hyung, why don’t you just tell him? He has the right to know anyway,” Jinyoung reasons out, sitting at the chair adjacent to theirs.

Mark, realizing he’s at a losing end, acquiescence and nods his head at his best friend, and then he turns to his husband so he could tell him how his actual pregnancy is doing.

“I was feeling mostly faint for the last two months and I still keep throwing up every morning.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me?” Jaebum incredulously asks, jaw clenching in a barely concealed anger.

“I thought you didn’t care,” the omega shrugs, looking somewhat lost.

“You honestly thought I wouldn’t care about anything that happens to you and the baby’s well-being?”

“Well, I know you’d care about the baby,” Mark says defensibly. “But it wasn’t serious, Jaebum. You don’t need to worry.’

“Nothing serious? You’re still getting morning sickness and having dizzy spells for months now and I have no idea. Mark, I let you have your space because that’s what you asked from me. Even though I was against it at first, I let you put that distance so you wouldn’t feel smothered by me but this is not going to work. I want you to tell me what is happening to you from now on.”

“What? No!” Mark bellows. “You don’t need to worry because I had everything under control. Besides, I will take care of my child however I chose to, your responsibility for him or me is no longer needed.”

“We’re still married,” Jaebum reminds him, tone firm and steely. “And I think it’ll be upon me where and when I will end my responsibility for you and the baby. From now in I want you to keep me in the loop on your pregnancy.”

“No,” Mark repeats defiantly, crossing his arms like a petulant child to emphasize his point. “You no longer have anything to do with anything concerning my son. We both know that you only tried to get me pregnant so you can leave this marriage. So, why don’t you leave me alone and let me do everything in my power to at least make you happy?”

“The only thing that would make me happy right now, is if you would listen to me,” Jaebum grits out in frustration.

“I am sick of listening to people telling me what to do! It’s always about you but what about me? What about what I want? These past few months were relatively peaceful for me because I get to do what I want without feeling like I am always disappointing someone. I don’t want to go back to that, Jaebum.”

“I don’t want to go back to that either,” the alpha agrees. “We didn’t have a real marriage before.”

Mark scoffs in pure mirth. “So what, you want a real marriage now?”

“What if I am?” Jaebum challenges, earning a sarcastic chuckle from Mark.

“You’re insane if you think I’ll agree with anything that will prolong this marriage. I don’t care what you want anymore, Jaebum. This time it’s about what I want. And be rest assured that what I want is to be out of this marriage as much as you are. The moment the baby is born, I want you to sign the divorce papers and leave me alone.”

Silence befall in the midst of them after that, ears and hearts eating the venom laced syllables they both breathed out for each other to hear. Mark is still fuming in contained anger and so is Jaebum, who’s now leaning forward, arms and hands in between his legs, fidgeting in an attempt to probably calm himself. Finally, after what seems like forever, he leans back on the sofa and glances back at Mark’s side profile.

“We’ll still be married until the baby is born,” he acknowledges wearily. “Up until then I want daily updates on your health. No matter how trivial it might be for you.”

“I don’t see the point of you wanting to know these things, Jaebum. What would you gain from such arrangement?”

“Absolutely nothing,” his husband mutters. “But what would you gain for keeping me out of the loop?”

 _Absolutely nothing._ Mark admits to himself silently, knowing that whatever he’s doing at his husband is just from pure irrationality and bitterness, which isn’t naturally in his personality. He sighs in defeat and nods his head.

“Fine, I will tell you what’s going on with my pregnancy. But…” he warns upon seeing Jaebum starting to look relieved. “I want your word that you won’t interfere with any part of it. You will just be a casual observer.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? That’s an absurd arrangement and I wish not to agree with that!” he yells now, standing from his seat and looming over at Mark. “I have a right to you and the baby.”

“No, Jaebum. You’ve signed away your rights to my son and I way long before this marriage even started.”  
Jaebum’s eyes flinch at Mark’s words, mouth gaping as if he’s been slapped.

“But you know what my circumstances were, Mark. I thought you understood that!”

Mark looks away from his husband and stares at his hands, now protectively holding the small bump just below his stomach. The strong pull of protectiveness overcomes his body, wanting nothing but good things to happen to his son. He doesn’t want his child to be subjected to the same upbringing that he had and he most certainly do not want his son to be married to someone who wouldn’t love him and make him feel like it was his fault he couldn’t be valued.

“I understand your situation,” the omega murmurs, hands still at the same spot. “But it didn’t change the fact that I was hurt throughout this whole time we’re together. It’s hard to get past that.”

Jaebum mutters something in Hangul whilst glancing at the omega with renewed vigor in his eyes, it wasn’t long before the alpha sighs heavily and drops on his knees in front of Mark.

“Mark, can’t we live the rest of the remaining months trying it out? We’re still married so let’s at least try to be civil for the rest of the months left. Besides, I… I can help you. Right?”

Mark gazes at Jaebum’s earnest eyes and reluctantly nods his head. “Fine. What do you want?”

“I want to be present on your doctor appointments,” the alpha reiterates, eyes determined and fixed on Mark; it was at that proximity that the latter noticed the faint dark circles under his husband’s eyes, making him look gaunt and tired. He wonders what he’s been up to looking like he’s not having enough sleep, when the news of Mark having a baby should have made him happy, or excited at least.

_The freedom he’s searching for is just around the corner._

Mark glances at his best friend and found Jinyoung’s wise eyes glancing back and forth between them in barely concealed amusement. Their eyes meet and the other omega gives him an encouraging smile.

“Why?” he finally asks, piercing the thick silence as he glances back at his husband.

“Peace of mind,” is his simple reply that got Mark sighing in defeat. He thinks it will only be fair to let him do it, so long as he follows the end of his bargain not to interfere.

“Fine. But again, you’re not allowed to say anything; you’re just a silent observer and whatever I do with my pregnancy is no longer any of your concern.”  
Jaebum merely clenches his jaw in frustration and later on decided to nod his head in agreement.

“I also think,” he begins to say, voice unusually timid. “I also think that living together in the same house and not see each other is ridiculous. Please stop disappearing when I’m at home. It makes me feel like a monster, knowing that you’re hiding in some corner instead of facing me.”

Mark bristles in irritation at the word Jaebum deliberately chose to describe what he’s been doing for the past few months. The other man just knows how to annoy the living heck out of him without effort. He squints his eyes at him in warning.

“I do not hide! I just don’t want to see you.”

“Okay, if you say so,” Jaebum shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly, annoying Mark in the process. “But anyway, I am going to suggest that we eat meals together; breakfast, sometimes lunch and dinner. No point in having it separately.”

“Fine!” Mark agrees grudgingly, glaring at his husband’s infuriating handsome face.

“And can we also be civil? Have decent conversations while having our meals?” The omega nods his head in exasperation, silently reminding himself that it will be just for another five and a half months.

“Anything else?” he asks sarcastically, obvious that he’s not really into accepting any more of Jaebum’s compromise but the alpha chose to ignore his sarcasm and accepts it at face value.

“Yes, my friends miss you. They were wondering where you’ve gone to and were quite disappointed that you didn’t come again.”

Mark stops at that, choosing to let the pain in his chest pass by before he replies.

“I… I can’t meet with them again, Jaebum,” he whispers under his breath, lowering his eyes towards his fingers fidgeting on his lap. “Like you said, they are your friends. When we divorce, meeting them will be awkward and I can’t do that. I can’t form ties to people knowing it wouldn’t last long.”

Jaebum knowingly nods his head and clears his throat.

“Then one last request,” he says, holding Mark’s hands now, their eyes meeting again.

“What?”

“Two hours.”

“What for?” Mark asks, face puzzled.

“Two hours at night to… just to…” Jaebum purses his lips in frustration, looking like he’s trying to find the right words to say. “I don’t know, talk, watch a movie, have dinner outside, read, play bowling, just… just things we could do together.”

“I don’t understand why you would want that.”

“Please, baby...”

The anguish in Jaebum’s voice stops Mark in the rejection hovering at the tip of his tongue, so even with reluctance remaining in his heart, he timidly nods his head in agreement and pulls his hands wrapped between his husband’s warm ones.

“Okay. Three times a week; Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. But that’s just it. After two hours we’re good and we’ll still sleep separately.” Mark intentionally chose Jaebum’s busiest days so he wouldn’t have to meet with him often. His husband, looking like he knew exactly what the omega did, smiles at him brightly.  
“Of course,” Jaebum replies, taking his place beside the omega again as they both tried to process the agreements in their own spaces and time.

“I will put this little one to bed, then let’s have lunch together?” Jinyoung tells them quietly, walking out of the room with the sleeping baby draped around his shoulder.

The two men continued to bask in the silence of the room.

“So what did the doctor really said yesterday, Mark?” Jaebum finally asks after a while.

“He said I’m slightly anemic and that’s what is causing the dizziness. He had my diet include more iron.”

“But everything else is normal?” he asks again after a short pause.

Mark nods his head in assurance. “Yes.”

“You will tell me if it wasn’t?”

“Yes,” he replies again, making the alpha sigh in pure relief.

“Thank you,” Jaebum says, the simple words uttered in sheer nonchalance but for Mark it was groundbreaking.

That’s the first time his husband ever thanked him and he didn’t feel comfortable with the slight lightness in his heart after hearing that. Mark chose to nod his head and stayed quiet for most of the day until they went back to the house.

~

 

 

> _“Maybe we'll try_  
>  _Leave it all behind_  
>  _Don't close your eyes this time_  
>  _I won't make you cry_  
>  _Maybe you'll fly_  
>  _Far away in the sky_  
>  _We won't care tomorrow_  
>  _We only got tonight_  
>  _We only got tonight, tonight_  
>  _You may be gone tomorrow_  
>  _But we got tonight.”_  
>  -Maybe, Jensen Gomez and Reese Lansangan

The following month sped by between the two of them in relative peace. Mark followed his end of the bargain and let Jaebum be somewhat involved in his life again. He let his husband take him out to dinners and sometimes lunch during weekends. Their meals together are civil, or if Mark would be more honest, nice. The doctor’s appointments were surprisingly less daunting with Jaebum’s silent support. Because although he’s literally silent the whole time, his presence made a huge difference for Mark’s well-being, since the omega doesn’t feel alone anymore. Jaebum was there now when Mark would still occasionally throw up at random times, pat soothing circles on his back until the morning sickness stops and then carry Mark towards the bed so he wouldn’t have to walk and possibly fall down.

Contrary to what Mark expected, Jaebum never missed one night to be with him. In fact, the alpha would mostly come home earlier on his appointed nights to prepare for what he had planned for the two of them. What’s also surprising for Mark was how he’s enjoying the time Jaebum asked of him. These they spent whichever way they can; they watched movies, read books that Jaebum loves so much, play video games that Mark adores and sometimes they just sit together in the relative silence of the room, breathing in the presence of one another. Jaebum once asked Mark if he could teach him how to paint and Mark made Jaebum teach him how to use the huge complicated table on his studio while the alpha records himself singing.

It came into the point that Mark would look forward at those times they’ll be together and hated himself for falling into the motions of being consumed by Jaebum again. So he became stricter to the time, making sure that once the two hour mark is up, they’d have to stop and end it right there and then. Jaebum looks like he wanted to ask for more time but never verbally expressed the desire, and Mark even with the stubbornness couldn’t help but think of extending the time as well. Yet they complied to the agreement and part every night at the exact same time.

“I don’t think it should be there,” Mark says after staring at the jagged and incomplete photo for a long time, feeling like the piece his husband placed was not meant to be there.

“What? It’s supposed to be there, look!” Jaebum holds out the complete photo of the puzzle and showed it to Mark. Squinting at it, the omega notices the similarities of that area, however, since they were trying to complete a photo of the birds and sky, everything seemed to look the same.

“No, study it more closely, there’s a tip of the cloud on the one you placed beside the one of the open sky. It shouldn’t look that way,” Mark admonishes, pointing at the said piece. ”Wow, Jaebum. You kinda suck at this.”  
Jaebum pouts at him adorably and removes the piece he placed, finding the right one among the pile in the middle of their table. Mark watches his husband grudgingly examine each puzzle piece he touches, eyes blinking when his hair obscures his sight. The omega suppresses the strong desire to brush it back and tell him to have a haircut, still stubborn in his wish to look disengaged and unaffected.

“I know it’s still early yet but I’ve been thinking of decorating the nursery,” Mark says instead, to get his mind off of wanting to touch his husband. Jaebum’s attention is instantaneously captured and he smiles unabashedly at him.

“That’s a great idea!” he says while nodding his head. “We can go shopping and buy toys and furniture. I saw these rabbit and fox plushies at a toy shop a week ago and I think it’ll be perfect for the baby.” His enthusiastic response momentarily threw Mark off and he stares blankly at the alpha for a second.

“A toy shop?” he finally asks and Jaebum goes slightly red.

“There’s a… there is a toy shop near the office and I checked it the other day. Just to see what kind of things babies need these days.”

Mark didn’t know what to say to that. The idea of his husband being more invested in the baby gives him fear of the long forgotten feelings he’s buried to resurface and make him vulnerable again. As much as he wants his child to have two fathers who will be involved in him, that’s also putting his son in the same position he is in. Mark was in such inner turmoil that he remained tight lipped, letting the overwhelming feelings be buried again to be processed later. Jaebum noticing the change in Mark’s mood, falls into a relative silence as well, choosing to toy the jagged puzzle piece in his hands instead while side eyeing him.

“I’m tired, I think I will go to sleep now,” Mark suddenly mutters, interrupting Jaebum from his deep thoughts.

“I still have an hour left,” he points out bitterly, looking so lost in his state.

“Oh yeah. Let’s try to finish this then,” Mark agrees, motioning to the puzzle, picking up a random piece and trying it out. He forces himself to look impassive but deep inside all he wants is to put distance away from his husband and hide in his room. Jaebum glances at him with an undefinable emotion in his eyes and then gets up.

“You’re not my prisoner, Mark. If you’re tired, then go to sleep.”

“But our deal…”

Jaebum sighs deeply, face obviously irritated now. “If you don’t want then, it’s I who would go. Good night , Mark,” The alpha mumbles in haste, leaving Mark in the room with the deafening silence. The omega sits there for a while, waiting if Jaebum would come back and finally burst in anger he’s suppressing well. But no one comes.

That is the first argument they had since they agreed to be civil with each other and Mark felt regretful for acting coward instead of facing his feelings and laying it bare. Even though Jaebum had hurt him before, their agreement should still be considered and whatever issues they have should be ignored since they will eventually part anyway. Realizing he was in the wrong this time, Mark sighs deeply and decided to apologize to Jaebum. He stands up from his seat and pads his way towards the alpha’s studio.

Heading towards the slightly ajar door, Mark hears Jaebum talking to someone on the phone, halting him from his steps. He’s speaking in Hangul so Mark supposes it is someone from _home_. Knowing he’ll have to wait for another time to apologize, he starts to walk away but not before he hears his husband’s gruff voice groaning a simple name in anguish.

“Joo-hyunie… _baby_ …”

Mark immediately flees the room, hurrying his steps upstairs until his back hits the back of the door he just slammed. He heaves deeply, finally noticing the tears running down his cheeks. He wipes it over and over until he gives up and let it come out. He shouldn’t feel this way, he shouldn’t feel jealous, he shouldn’t feel anything in the knowledge of his husband talking to another woman, who, in the first place, should have been the one he probably married. The term of endearment Jaebum used to call him making it even more unbearable, as Mark thought he’s calling him that because it was especially designated for him. Now, Mark cannot help but think that maybe he’s just using it to de-personalized the act, make it look like he’s with Joo-hyun instead of him.

Mark begrudgingly crawls over his bed and lets his head hit the pillow, embracing his abdomen with as much love as he could, finally realizing that it’s just him and his son from now on. It's just him and his son from the beginning.

~

 

 

>   
>  _“'Cause our home's a wreck, look at this mess_  
>  _You blame it on disobedience_  
>  _But I think it's time, time you realized_  
>  _You're the one in the wrong._ ”  
>  -LANY, Hericane

“I won’t be able to come with you on your doctor’s appointment today,” Jaebum suddenly informs him, taking a sip from his cup of coffee while glancing at the omega from across the breakfast table. Mark feels like his spine had been doused with cold water, turning at Jaebum before he could even take a huge bite from his pancakes. He wouldn’t really admit it, but the omega has been depending too much on Jaebum’s support for the procedure he’d be taking this afternoon. He’s in the twentieth week of his pregnancy and the doctor made a precautionary amniocentesis because of his miscarriage that happened last year. It wasn’t really serious and Mark’s not diagnosed with any serious case, however, his doctor doesn’t want to take any chances.

Mark knows that possibilities of the operation going wrong and the test results showing complications are low but his irrational fear of it happening has been making him a nervous wreck. Jaebum has been his constant confidant; driving him towards the hospital, making sure he has all of the vitamins and medicines needed for him and the baby. He always holds Mark’s hand during his ultrasound, squeezing it tightly when they first heard their child’s heartbeat. He might be silent through it all, but his silent support has been a huge comfort for him.

“Why not?” Mark asks casually.

“I need to make sure that all of my workload’s done this week because I will go home the week after,” Jaebum replies, lowering his eyes on his plate.

“Is your father okay?” he asks tightly and Jaebum nods his head.

“Yes, this visit has nothing to do with any family business.”

Mark shuts his eyes in pain, knowing full well who Jaebum is going to meet when he goes back to South Korea. He eventually opens his eyes, shrugging his shoulders in silent confirmation.

“I see. It’s just that… I will have my amniocentesis today.”

Jaebum swears under his breath, looking stricken by the reminder. “I’m sorry, Mark. I forgot that it is today.”

And just like that, Mark feels justified with all of his inner turmoil and fear about letting his husband in his life again and his son, confirming that while he’s worrying about their child’s welfare, Jaebum just simply forgot about them completely because of some girl he left back home.

Mark shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly, trying to shove in more pancakes in his mouth so he wouldn’t have to look into his husband’s eyes.

“It’s alright. I can ask Jinyoung or Jackson to come with me instead.”

“That’s good,” he agrees enthusiastically. “I will be on your next appointment, Mark. It won’t be long and I will be back.”

“It’s okay,” he replies, snatching his phone over his side to send a quick text to his cousin if they could accompany him.

“I don’t want you to be alone while I’m gone,” Jaebum suddenly pierces the uncomfortable silence, halting Mark from taking a bite from his ham.

“I am hardly alone, the staff will all be here with me, even Jinyoung and Jackson.”

Jaebum sighs impatiently. “That’s not enough. Why don’t you stay with your cousin instead?”

“No. They just had their baby and I will only be a bother if I stay with them. I will be fine here. I can take care of myself.”

“What if something goes wrong and no one’s around to help you? What if you need to eat something and no one is here to tend to you immediately?”

“Why don’t you stay home if you’re so concerned?” Mark snaps furiously, realizing what he said too late and regretting his slip of the tongue. Jaebum gazes at him pointedly.

“Do you want me to stay home?”

Mark shrugs, swallowing the awkward air surrounding them. “It doesn’t matter what I want.”

“Of course it does. I will stay if you want me to.”

“What about your important business?” Mark asks sarcastically.

“You’re more important.”

Mark chuckles mirthlessly at that, hating that his husband had to lie just to make him feel good about forgetting his procedure today.

“Of course, I am. I have your baby and he’s your way to freedom, right?”

“No, that’s not what I meant. Why don’t you believe the things I say at face value?”

Mark sighs in exasperation and puts down his fork to glance up at his husband, holding his stare. “I don’t believe anything you say anymore, Jaebum. Look, if you need to go back home, I won’t stop you. I don’t want to hold you here and have it thrown back into my face at a later date. I don't want to be blamed on this as well.”  
The alpha clenches his jaw from Mark’s biting words, lips pursing in a straight line to keep his temper at bay. Mark finishes his breakfast with a flourish, standing up from his seat before glancing back at the alpha.

“I have to get ready for my appointment, please excuse me.” And with that he leaves the kitchen, going straight to his room to shower, feeling faint and tired all of a sudden.

 

Jinyoung and Jackson can’t come with him to the clinic; the other omega has to bring Bambam to his own doctor’s appointment and Jackson is currently in Busan for a convention.

Mark keeps reminding himself that the chances of it going wrong is slim to none but he can’t help worrying; especially now that he finds himself waiting alone in the couch, surrounded by other pregnant people accompanied by their partners and friends. He never felt so alone until that moment, silently wishing he just told Jaebum the truth that he wants the alpha there with him so he wouldn’t feel the heavy burden of nervousness creeping all over his body. He tried to get his mind off of the impending procedure he’ll be getting by flipping through pregnancy magazines and watching whatever’s movie on the shared TV screen.

It was when he’s about to look at his phone that a voice in front of him speaks and Mark smiled brightly at the familiar face beaming at him.

“ _Mark_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there.
> 
> My friends are lowkey pressuring me in finishing this before the end of this month and I wanna cough blood. Hahahahaha!
> 
> Again, THANK YOU for all of the comments and appreciation you are giving this fic. I love all of you so much.
> 
> See you soon!
> 
> Xoxo,  
> A


	8. For Him

> _“Some things are long forgotten_  
>  _Some things were never said_  
>  _We were on one endless road_  
>  _But I had a wandering heart_  
>  _I said we were opposite lovers_  
>  _(Said it from the beginning) you kept trying to prove me wrong_  
>  _(Said you'd always see it through) and I know that I ran you down_  
>  _So you ran away with your heart.”_  
>  -Want You Back, HAIM

Jaebum sighs for the umpteenth time, gritting his teeth because of the unsteady beating of his heart every time he remembers Mark; the way his husband’s face fell into a nervous wreck this morning when he told him he couldn’t come to the doctor for his procedure.

As much as he tried to backpedal and salvage the budding great atmosphere between them, Mark’s already back into his shell, pushing Jaebum away and keeping the distance between them again. Just when he thought things are better, Mark is already stepping back a million feet from him.

Getting sick of seeing the endless pile of proposals on his desk, Jaebum pushes himself away from it to stand near his floor-to-ceiling windows and gazes outside. He finds himself staring at the heavy pouring rain coming down from the sky with a vengeance and his mind instantly goes to Mark. He wonders if he got into the clinic safely with Jinyoung.

Needing the assurance, Jaebum dials his phone to contact Mark. However, the omega is not answering and only letting it go to voicemail.

“Come on, Mark,” Jaebum mumbles, tapping his fingers on his leg impatiently as he tries again and again but to no avail. The alpha then decides to call Jinyoung.

“Hello?” Jinyoung answers by the second ring, the sound of crying babies distinguishable on his background.

“Hey, Jinyoung. I’m sorry to bother you but Mark isn’t answering his phone and I just want to make sure that you’re both safe in the clinic,” Jaebum informs, nerves suddenly going hi-wire.

“Uhm… Jaebum-hyung, I am not with Mark-hyung. I need to bring Bambam to his own check up so I—”  
“Who’s with him then? Jackson?” Jaebum interrupts, no longer capable of keeping the panic surging through him and hoping his husband’s zealous cousin is with him instead.

“No, Hyung. Jackson is in Busan. I thought Mark-hyung will ask you to accompany him. He told me he’ll just ask you again,” Jinyoung replies, his own panic evident on the other line.

The alpha smothers a curse coming out of his lips and breathes a deep sigh.

He shouldn’t have let him go that morning alone.

“I guess, I will just go to the clinic to check on him. Thank you, Jinyoung. I will call you later.”

“Alright,” the omega says. “Please call me as soon as you’re with him. He might have gone there alone.”

“I will,” he assures the omega before hanging up. “Lisa, cancel all of my meetings for today. Tell the board members that I had an emergency. I will take the rest of the day off,” he then commands on his office phone robotically.

After hearing his assistant give an affirmative response on the other line, Jaebum hurriedly darts out of his office in record time.

Jaebum must have broken a couple of traffic rules with how fast he drove towards the clinic, uncaring if he gets into an accident himself just so he could get to Mark as soon as he can. Arriving at the place, breathless and a little bit wet from the rain, Jaebum heads over the vast waiting area to look for Mark.

It wasn’t hard to spot his husband amongst the crowd, since Mark could always draw him in, catching his attention by just his mere breath. It also helps that he’s incredibly good looking and his silent grace gives the aura of sophistication that catches people’s eyes.

What made Jaebum stopped in his tracks though, just when he’s about to call his husband’s name is another man, stepping within Mark’s line of sight as he excitedly gives him a hug.

Jaebum feels his jaw and fist clench in annoyance.

_Who the fuck is that?_

“Hey, isn’t that the guy you always watch on TV? What’s his name? _Nikko_? That Thai actor?” an old woman, voice too conspicuous for someone gossiping, mumbles at his right. She’s with a pregnant woman, who’s now enthusiastically nodding her head in confirmation whilst keeping her excitement at bay.

“Grandma, it’s _Nichkhun_. Oh my god! I can’t believe he’s here!” the pregnant woman says, excitedly eyeing the two men talking. “Wait…” she suddenly whispers, confusion marring her face. “That’s Mark Tuan with him. I didn’t know they are still in good terms after what happened.”

“Hmm? Why? What happened to them?” the grandmother asks, leading her granddaughter to the couch so they could sit while waiting.

“There were rumors that the Tuans cancelled their wedding two years ago,” she supplies, sighing in obvious distress. “It was such a huge scandal since everyone thought they’ll end up together. I heard Mark was married off to someone else a few months after and Nichkhun just goes back to Thailand. Too bad, they look good together.”

Jaebum feels his chest constrict painfully by the discovery of the man’s relationship with Mark. He feels the hair on his body rise to points, alerting him of a danger that isn’t really there. He supposes that the alarm is coming from Mark’s well-being, currently standing close to a man he supposes is his ex fiancé.

However, the simple truth is this: Jaebum is just extremely jealous after finding out that his husband almost got married off to someone else.

There’s an animalistic impulse running through his veins now, calling him out to do something irrational and for once, lose the icy control he perfected while growing up. He’s slowly realizing that everything that has to do with Mark, from the moment he saw him, had him becoming impulsive and sometimes _stupid_ but Jaebum no longer cares.

Deciding he’s had enough time to bring a semblance of control to his demeanor, Jaebum then starts to walk towards Mark; to stake a claim, save him from the smiling man that’s making him giggle, prove that he’s Mark’s husband… he doesn’t know, but all he wants to do is to keep Mark away from Nichkhun as much as possible.

The bright smile his husband’s giving the other man doesn’t sit well with him.

As if on cue, his husband chooses that time to turn towards him, eyes widening in shock upon recognizing his face. What surprises Jaebum though, is the glint of relief evident on Mark’s eyes.

“What are you doing here?” he breathlessly asks, looking up at him.

“I was worried about you! It was raining outside and you weren’t answering your phone. So when I called Jinyoung and he told me you were here alone, I drove as fast as I could to get here,” he answers, immediately putting his arm around Mark’s waist and kissing the side of his head. “Why didn’t you call me? You know I would be here for you.”

Mark huffs, surprising him further when he leans into his embrace. “But how about your work?”

“It’ll keep,” he throws nonchalantly, not really caring about work at this point.

“You didn’t need to come. I can manage on my own,” Mark protests lamely, biting his lips to keep the smile breaking from his mouth. Jaebum can’t help but kiss his forehead in reassurance.

“Come on, Mark. You look like you’ll pass out whenever a mention of this procedure would come up. Of course, I wouldn’t let you do this alone. I’m just sorry if I came in a little bit late.”

Mark stares at him for a while, eyes innocent and soft, almost like how he looked at him before they got married. A sound of someone clearing his throat catches Mark’s attention though and he blushes profusedly, turning to the other man standing near them.

“Oh! Where are my manners? I forgot to introduce you two. Jaebum, this is Nichkhun Horvejkul, my friend.” Facing the other man, Mark then places his hand at Jaebum’s chest. “And Nichkhun, this is my husband, Im Jaebum.”

Jaebum bristles at the mention of my husband, reveling at the fact that he had a more important title in Mark’s life. He can’t help pushing his chest out in pride as he politely extends his right hand towards the other man, smiling tightly when Nichkhun shakes it back.

“It’s finally nice to meet you, Jaebum. Mark was just telling me about you,” the Thai man greets, giving a conspiratorial look at his husband, who’s head’s now bowed down, hiding a smile he couldn’t quite contain.

“I hope only good things?” Jaebum inquires, squeezing the other alpha’s hand a little tighter than necessary whilst pulling Mark closer to his side by his other arm.

Nichkhun merely smiled at him amusedly, flexing his hand and fingers after Jaebum finally lets it go. “Of course. Congratulations on the baby, by the way.”

“Thank you,” Jaebum sincerely replies, feeling Mark go rigid beside him.

“You’re welcome,” Nichkhun tells Jaebum, putting his hands inside his pockets as he slowly steps away from them. There is still that flicker of amusement in the other alpha’s eyes that gets into Jaebum’s nerves, but he chooses to let it go, categorizing it as his mind playing tricks on him. “Anyway, I have to go now. My mom must have been wondering where I got lost into,” he then chuckles, nodding his head at Mark and then Jaebum. “It was nice seeing the two of you. I wish you both the best, Mark, Jaebum.”

“Nice seeing you too, Nichkhun. See you around,” Mark says softly, giving the other man an appreciative smile before he pulls away from Jaebum’s arms and into the other man’s embrace.

Jaebum fights the urge to wedge a substantial amount of distance between Mark and Nichkhun as his chest starts constricting with the strange sensation once again. It was like lead settles deep down his stomach, turning his feet and legs to jelly, making him immobile.

He clenches his fist tightly, feeling his nails dig deep until it breaks his skin that would surely leave red crescent moon shapes on his palm. He focuses on that instead, letting his mind concentrate on the physical pain, rather than the torment of seeing Mark being engulfed into another man’s arms. He couldn’t imagine how painful it was for the omega when the tabloid would spread news of him with another man or woman, captured at a suggestive position, making up stories that didn’t have an ounce of truth.

Regret washes over Jaebum’s chest, now staring at his husband’s smiling face, directed at the other man he’s supposed to marry. He wonders if Mark would have been happier if he ended up with Nichkhun instead and found the answer right in front of him.

Mark laughs with him. Mark is almost glowing with him. Mark looks comfortable with him. Mark is obviously doing things _with_ him and not _for_ him.

Jaebum could see the stark difference of how Mark treats him now and cannot blame anyone but himself. He supposes he deserves it, taking in all of the blame from what he did to the omega from the moment they got married until his husband got pregnant. His impossible situation is no excuse for him to act despicable and cruel. He could have treated Mark less hostile, established a friendship with him and let him explain his side of the story instead of accusing him of something he wouldn’t do.

So now that the tables have turned, Jaebum’s reaping what he sowed.

And honestly, that’s the pain he's not sure he's fully prepared to receive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ISUCKATDEADLINES. I KNOOOOOW. HAHAHAHA! I'm sorry this chapter took too long to be posted and I do apologize for the wait. It will probably take me the whole week to finish this story, sooooo, watch out for that. *winkeu*
> 
> Anyhoo, how's Nichkhun as Mark's almost husband-to-be? Did you see that coming? If it makes you feel better, I didn't as well. Just got the idea all of a sudden when I heard a 2PM song. Hahaha! God, I am making this more complicated than it should have been. LOL
> 
> Again, the comments and support I am getting for this story are so surreal and overwhelming that sometimes, I just stop and let my mind absorb everything. It's a really humbling experience. You guys are the real MVPs. Thank you for cheering me on throughout this journey. Love you guys so much!
> 
> See you soon!
> 
> Xoxo,  
> A


	9. For Us

 

> _“Not me_  
>  _It won’t be easy for me_  
>  _Still, you fill up my days_  
>  _Not yet_  
>  _I tell myself, like a fool_  
>  _I can’t swallow the words that linger in my mouth_  
>  _It’s not fine.”_  
>  -Taeyeon, Fine

“Nichkhun!” Mark exclaims in surprise upon seeing his friend’s familiar face smiling down at him. It has been quite a long time since they have last seen each other and the omega couldn’t hide his pleasure in the knowledge that Nichkhun’s back in L.A. “When did you come back?” Mark asks, while he lets his friend put him in an embrace, feeling the familiar warmth of his body against his.

“About four hours ago. My plane just landed and I drove straight here,” the alpha replies, grinning boyishly. “My mom’s having her menopause and is being overly dramatic by wishing all of my siblings and I to accompany her at the clinic today.”

Mark chuckles and playfully hits his friend’s arm. “You shouldn’t call her overly dramatic. It’ll only aggravate her stress, you know?”

“Trust me, I know,” Nichkhun whines, pouting goodheartedly before chuckling and smiling. “So, how are you, Mark? You look,” The alpha eyes him from head to toe fondly, noting his bump and wiggling his brows, saying, “Very pregnant.”

“Yes. I’m in my 24th week,” Mark tells him quietly, suddenly being reminded of the reason he was in the clinic in the first place. He feels panic taking over his body once more and the omega tries to tamp it down by breathing deeply.

Nichkhun seems to notice his apprehension and looks around. “Where’s your husband though? Did he buy you something to drink?” he asks, now glancing at Mark with curiosity in his face.

The latter merely shrugs his shoulders in nonchalance, although deep inside the pain of being left alone still lingers, clawing at his chest and scratching up to his throat. Mark swallows before shaking his head.

“He has work.”

“Work? He let you come here alone?”

Mark bites his lip. “He didn’t know I’m alone. He thought I was with Jinyoung, my best friend. You remember him?"

Nichkhun nods his head.

"I... I don’t want to bother Jaebum too much. He… he has to finish things at work so he could go to South Korea next week.”

Nichkhun tuts loudly. “I still think he shouldn’t have let you come here without him. How about your cousin? That loud guy? What’s his name again?”

“Jackson?”

The alpha nods his head. “Yeah! Jackson. He can’t come with you?”

“Jackson’s in Busan for a convention. He’s there for a week and I don’t want to bother him as well,” Mark mumbles, fidgeting the end of his shirt.

“Hey,” Nichkhun immediately soothes, grabbing Mark’s wrist to stop the familiar nervous movement. “Is everything alright?”

Mark stares at his friend’s brown eyes, getting lost at his familiar concern and wonders what it would have been like if they ended up together.

He was twenty-one when he met Nichkhun, back when he just graduated from University, fueled with too much passion to work and prove his worth to his father. He had different plans then; work from the bottom, learn the ins and outs of the company until he’s deemed worthy of inheriting his father’s legacy. He would often imagine himself being appreciated for his efforts and finally loved by his father because he’s no longer a burden anymore; so even though Mark loathed Business Administration as his major, he persevered and managed to graduate at the top of his class.

But Richard Tuan had different plans; his plan had always been marrying Mark off to another rich family, expand the business and dump him away, so he’s no longer a liability.

Mark meekly accepted his fate, threw whatever wants and needs he had just to please his dad. He silently hoped that if he show Richard he was obedient, it’ll turn the cold-hearted alpha to _love_ him or at least acknowledge him.

After learning his father’s intentions of introducing him to the Horvejkul family, Mark did his best to befriend Nichkhun, and went out of his shell just to please the other man. Fortunately, Nichkhun wasn’t hard to be with, the man’s easy-going, funny and kind-hearted. In addition, their connection was instantly made strong by their love for the arts.

It also helped that the Thai man’s family was all Mark ever wanted; they’re loud and huge and smothering but very welcoming at the same time. They received Mark with open arms, treated him like he’s already part of the family and not an outsider. Kind of surprising since back then, Mark and Nichkhun were just together for less than a month.

Everything was doing well for the two men. All but the attraction they felt for one another since they could only be classified as platonic and nothing more. They could have tried to delve deeper into their feelings but their engagement was abruptly cancelled by Mark’s father after six months; so swift and sudden that the omega wasn’t able to properly say goodbye to his friend as his family had already went back to Thailand to avoid the chaotic aftermath.

Looking back at it now, Mark can’t help but think of what could have been his life if he really married Nichkhun. Would he have been happier? Would his life be different from now? Nichkhun used to tell him he wants kids too and doesn’t have any preference if it’ll be an alpha, so long as it’s healthy. He’ll probably won’t make deals with Mark’s father because despite it being a duty for his family, Nichkhun will consider Mark as an actual person and not a means to an end. They would probably have a happy home.

Nichkhun and Jaebum are polar opposites, so different that Mark can see the stark contrast of how his life could have been compared to how it is at present. He probably wouldn’t be alone right now. Nichkhun wouldn’t have forgotten about this momentous moment in their lives because he’ll be hands on and Mark would be his first priority.

But then again Mark doesn’t feel for Nichkhun the strong attraction he has for Jaebum, and he contemplates if it was something he’d rather let pass for a safe relationship with the former.

“Mark, you alright?” Nichkhun asks again, interrupting Mark from his thoughts and bringing him back to the present.

He nods his head fervently while forcing a smile to appease his friend. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just… I will have a procedure this afternoon and I’m kind of nervous because I think of so many things. But the doctor kept reminding me it’ll be fine so I am not worried anymore. He also told me that this is just for us to be sure so if ever there will be complications with my pregnancy we could address it earli—” Mark rambles, glancing around to avoid Nichkhun’s eyes and instead meeting his husband’s dark black orbs.

Mark blinks and tries to clear the haze in his mind, thinking he must have been imagining things because of worrying too much. But Jaebum keeps walking towards him, face genuinely worried and hair a bit wet probably from the rain outside. Mark stares at him with relief washing over his body, feeling every apprehension leaving his system and being replaced with warmth knowing Jaebum’s here.

_He’s actually here._

“What are you doing here?” Mark asks, voice too breathless to speak, as if he ran a marathon. Jaebum grabs his arms tightly, eyes frantic while he rakes his body up and down.

“I was worried about you! It was raining outside and you weren’t answering your phone. So when I called Jinyoung and he told me you were here alone, I drove as fast as I could to get here. Why didn’t you call me? You know I would be here for you,” the alpha vents out, kissing Mark’s head and holding him tightly, overwhelming Mark into seeing Jaebum sound so genuinely concerned for him.

He couldn’t help but lean closer to his husband’s body, burrowing closer to him and feeling smaller in his arms. They stayed that way for a while, mumbling to each other when Mark suddenly remembers the other person in the room with them, probably standing awkwardly while he plastered himself all over Jaebum.

With a blush painting his cheeks, Mark introduces Nichkhun to Jaebum, noticing the thick tension seeping from his husband’s body towards his friend.

Mark couldn’t help but catch the way Jaebum holds him closer and how his husband seems to be more touchy and more blatant with his possession of him. He could have felt valued from it, but being reminded that it was how Jaebum holds him in front of his friends before and never when they were alone, Mark realized that his husband was just probably doing it for publicity, for the fake story that they were doing alright when they were nothing but.

Mark pushes himself away from Jaebum’s arms and clings to his friend’s neck after the Thai alpha said goodbye.

“Oh, Mark. Your husband probably hates me,” Nichkhun whispers softly in his ears, chuckling good-naturedly as he kisses Mark’s cheek. “I think I need to get my right hand checked later.”

“Huh? What did you mean? Did he hurt you?” Mark asks confusedly, facing his friend while his arms are still on his shoulders.

“Nothing, kiddo. I’m just glad to see you’re married to someone who loves and protects you. Remember what I told you before when you thought no one would?”

“No. What are you saying someone who loves me? Jaebum loves me?” Mark whispers back, finding the answers in his friend’s eyes but only seeing his vague smile. He then turns towards his husband and sees him staring at them angrily; if his clenched jaw is enough indication that he’s pissed.

“You used to tell me you think no one would love you but that man behind us does, Mark.”

“He… he doesn’t feel that way for me. He’s in love with another woman,” Mark whispers, biting his lip to avoid feeling emotional. He feels his friend tilts his chin to gaze back at him.

“He doesn’t look like that to me. Open your eyes, Mark. Sometimes, you’ve got to look at things as they are and not what you think they are. Now, let go of me, before your husband strangles me to death,” Nichkhun mutters in his ear, causing the omega to let go of his friend, whilst stepping back a few steps where he was instantly got wrapped around the waist by Jaebum’s arm, with the alpha's hand perfectly resting on his small bump.

“See you around, guys!” Nichkhun says, waving his hands before he finally walks over the stairs for the top floor.

Mark and Jaebum remain there, standing close together with the former still leaning against the alpha’s sturdy body. He could feel his husband’s breath fanning behind his neck, caressing the exposed skin and he couldn’t help but shiver. The phantom of Nichkhun’s words are still ringing to his ears, making him shake his head in disagreement.

 _His husband doesn't love him_. He’s just good at making it look like it. Mark heard Jaebum used to study theater and film acting back in college, he must have learned his tricks there.

“Why don’t you go back and finish your work? I’ll be fine here, Jaebum,” Mark whispers, staring at his husband’s hand that’s splayed protectively on his stomach. He’s about to peel it away from his body when Jaebum wraps both of his arms on him now, clasping his fingers together until they meet at his midriff. His husband’s chin is now resting on his left shoulder, nuzzling his neck and making him feel a strange lightness in his stomach. Mark closes his eyes in frustration.

“I don’t… I can’t leave you,” Jaebum says in his low voice.

Mark tries to peel his hands and arms away from him again, but Jaebum interlocks their fingers together, so now the omega has no choice but to stay put that way.

“Let me go,” he demands weakly.

“I am afraid, I can’t do that, _baby_ ,” Jaebum groans, the edge of desperation coloring his voice. For a moment Mark debated if he will continue to push him away but his friend’s voice telling him to open his eyes rings to his ear again and Mark, with his weak heart when it comes to Jaebum, hoped and bet that opening them again would make his pain feel better.

And with that he sighed deeply and stayed in his husband’s arm until the doctor called his name to have his procedure.

~

 

>   
>  “I'm never gonna let you close to me  
>  Even though you mean the most to me  
>  'Cause every time I open up, it hurts  
>  So I'm never gonna get too close to you  
>  Even when I mean the most to you  
>  In case you go and leave me in the dirt.”  
>  -Sam Smith, Too Good At Goodbyes

Mark went through his procedure without a hitch, except for some initial discomfort but that was already a given since he’s being injected with a 7.5 needle which Jaebum blanched on upon seeing. It was quite funny for Mark to see his usually brooding husband looking like he’ll passed out because of a huge needle.

Jaebum chose to focus on Mark’s amused face instead, purposely avoiding whatever’s happening at the omega’s abdomen so he wouldn’t feel queasy. It took about 45 minutes for the whole procedure to be done with, and Mark and Jaebum anxiously sat side by side in front of the doctor, waiting for her to explain everything.

“You can breathe easily now, dear. Everything’s fine. You and your baby have come through with it in flying colors,” Doctor Stalzer beams, giving both of them her motherly smile which eases Mark’s breathing a little bit. "How are you feeling?"

"Relieved," Mark mumbles shakily, earning him a goodnatured chuckle from the older woman.

"Good, good. Stay that way, Mark. There is nothing to worry about. Now, on to some few reminders I want you to take note of; for the next few days try not to do any heavy lifting, no sex and no flying or long travels. Do not worry too much and always relax as your baby will feel everything. You might experience cramping and that’s normal. But if it went on for too long or you experienced spotting or bleeding, come in immediately. Understood?”

Mark pales at that, nodding and blindly seeking Jaebum’s hand to hold on to for support.

“Anyway, the results will come out after 10 to 14 days. I will contact you as soon as it’s out.”

“Do you think,” Mark starts, voice hoarse, stilling Jaebum beside him. “Do you think I’m at risk of having another miscarriage?”

The doctor looks at him under her wise eyes and smiles at him affectionately. “Not at all, darling.”

“But last time…” Mark mumbles, feeling the dread of losing another son because of his current situation with Jaebum. The doctor immediately appeases him by shaking her head.

“That is just one of those things that happens in life, Mark. You are healthy and so is your baby. There is nothing to worry about. Just keep thinking positive during these times and don’t ever stress yourself too much, alright?”

Mark nods his head and Doctor Stalzer claps her hand in glee. “Now, on to happier topics, would you like to find out your baby’s sex and kind?”

“You can finally tell?” Mark exclaims, smiling in excitement.

“Yes, your baby has finally shown it to us today,” the doctor tells indulgently.

However, Jaebum, shakes his head fervently, saying, “No. I’d rather not know.”

“But, Jaebum.” Mark turns to him in surprise as the alpha avoids looking into his eyes. “Why don’t you want to know?”

“It makes no difference.” Is his reply, making Mark gasp and pull his hand from his hold, hiding away to his invisible shell once again.

Nothing the alpha could have said would hurt Mark more than that. _Of course it would make no difference._ Mark thinks. _If it’s a boy he could finally leave and go back to his old life but if it’s a girl he’ll still be stuck in our loveless marriage longer and that’s more painful to bear._

Jaebum groans in frustration upon seeing Mark’s expression and immediately grabs his hands once more.

“No, _baby_. You’re misunderstanding it again. That’s not what I meant.”

“It’s okay,” Mark suddenly says as he turns to Doctor Salzter who is now looking a bit uncomfortable with the argument happening in front of her. “I don’t need to know the baby’s gender, doctor. Thank you.”

_Not when I am sure it is a boy anyway._

The doctor nods her head in confirmation, maintaining her jovial manner by keeping her smile intact. Jaebum kept his eyes on Mark for the remaining time they stayed at the doctor’s office, who by then continued reminding the pregnant omega to be more cautious of his health and diet. It wasn’t long when she dismissed them with a cheerful goodbye.

“Mark, just let me explain,” Jaebum pleads the moment they are outside the clinic.

It is still raining hard and Mark puts on the hood of his jacket to keep dry before sprinting towards his car that’s park a few feet away from the building. Jaebum follows him even though the omega’s still blatantly ignoring his presence. He finally found a chance to stop Mark from leaving when the latter couldn’t find his car keys fast enough. The alpha grabs onto his narrow shoulders to turn him around, sighing deeply when he sees Mark’s wet face that could have been because of his tears or from the rain.

“I’m sorry,” Jaebum shouts over the thundering rain beating towards their bodies and he covers Mark’s frail frame to keep him from being rained down. “That didn’t come out right. It didn’t mean like you thought it did, Mark.”

“Why does it matter what I think, Jaebum? Like you said, it doesn’t matter. So it won’t. When it comes to me or my son, it always doesn't matter to you.”

“It matters.” Jaebum cups the omega’s face as he rests his forehead against his. “It matters very much to me what you think. You matter to me.”

“No,” Mark argues, pushing Jaebum away from him but the alpha has already managed to keep Mark between his arms again, pulling him closer so he could never escape. Mark looks up at his husband and sees his eyes surprisingly full of remorse and vulnerability.

“I’m sorry I keep hurting you but you misunderstood what I said, Mark. I said it wouldn’t matter because I... Because i would _love_ our baby regardless of its gender or kind.”

Mark looks deeply at him with hardened eyes and pushes him away but harsher this time. His heart clenches painfully in his chest for his husband’s atrocious behavior of lying through his teeth just to keep him compliant.

“Why would you say that? Why would you lie like that? I don’t deserve to be treated like this when I know what the truth is. I am trying to protect myself, Jaebum but you keep finding creative ways to hurt me!” The omega goes back to look for his car keys, ignoring the alpha again who by then is panicking by his side to keep him from running away.

“Don’t try to pretend that you care!” he yells at his husband when he starts to touch him. “I know that you don’t really care about my child and I! Less than four months with me and you’re free to go back to your old life. Go back to your _Bae Joo-hyun_ , start a real life with her and finally have those babies you will truly care for and love!”

Jaebum glances at him in alarm, sharp eyes meeting his accusing ones while his jaw seems to drop from shock.

“What? You think I didn’t know about her? You think I wouldn’t know about the woman you truly love? The one you should have married if my father didn’t force you into this sham? I know that you always meet with her every time you go back home. And I know for a fact that she’s the reason why you have to go back this week!” Mark practically screams over the rain, frustrated with Jaebum’s arrested stare and unmoving body.

Mark starts to feel strange then, getting light-headed and nauseous. He tries to grasp the roof of his car, fumbling along the ridges of the metal to keep his balance. Mark’s aware that Jaebum’s coming closer to him and he evades his advances but his attempt to do so made him even dizzier, causing his legs to buckle until all he sees is black and hears the faint voice of his husband screaming his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the deal; I was supposed to write two very long chapters but then while I was writing, I noticed that there seemed to be a lot going on and it's too hard catching up with everything. Soooo... Yeah. I kinda hafta cut them in half. I'm currently writing the next half of this chapter which, hopefully, I'll be able to finish by tonight or tomorrow or whenever. HAHAHA! Watch out for it. Teehee!
> 
> As usual, thank you for all of your support on this story. I really do appreciate your messages and comments. You guys are so so sweet to me. If I could, I would hug all of you so tight. Haha! Please receive my virtual loooooooooove. Xoxo
> 
> To those who are in South Korea right now (Hi Penny and Tina!) watching the boys' concert, enjoy yourselves!!! Rock it!
> 
> Scream at me at Twitter if you want: @morkzone
> 
> See you soon!
> 
> Xoxo  
> A


	10. For Jaebum

>   _“I made a list of things I love_  
>  _Just in case you go_  
>  _All my life has been about_  
>  _Waiting for people to go_  
>  _Your love's uncertain_  
>  _Won't you hold it down with chains_  
>  _Oh, won't you break me now so I won't feel the pain.”_  
>  -Reese Lansangan, For The Fickle

“When I said he’s not allowed to stress himself, I meant both physically and emotionally, Jaebum.”

Mark hears a familiar voice sternly admonishing his husband. He tries to swim out of the haze he is in, frowning when the noise in both of his ears won’t stop.

“What were you thinking upsetting him like this when he just had his procedure?”

“Will he be okay?” Jaebum asks, his voice unusually panicky under the buzzing noise. Mark wonders if he’s just imagining it or his husband is truly shaken.

“To be honest, he’s not,” the doctor whispers, sighing deeply. “He bled a little which is never a good sign. I won’t take any chances and will have to admit him here. After this, Mark has to be on bed rest for a week.”

“I can’t stay in bed that long,” Mark finally croaks, opening his heavy eyes to see his husband surging towards him and smother him with a kiss at the side of his head.

“Oh my god! Mark, you’re awake. How are you feeling?” he asks all at once, hands holding on to the omega’s hands before kissing each of his knuckles. Mark frowns at this.

“I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus,” he admits shakily, turning abruptly towards the doctor standing next to his husband. “Doctor Stalzer, my baby? How’s my baby? Is he alright?”

“Mark, breathe. Relax. You’re baby’s fine. In fact, your baby’s doing a lot better than you are. And because of that I want you to listen to me; stay in bed for a week and don’t stress yourself too much.”

“But Doctor Stalzer, a week is too much.”

“Then I will give you two choices, dear; you will go home and stay in bed for a week or I will have you hospitalized here so I can keep an eye on you,” the doctor berates, raising both her eyebrows for emphasis. “So? What do you think? For me a week of bed rest sounds like a better plan than having to risk my baby’s life, don’t you think?”

“He will obey your orders, Doctor Stalzer. Mark will be on bed rest for a week or until he needs it,” Jaebum interrupts grimly, eyeing Mark in silent confirmation before the latter nods his head in defeat.

The older woman looks to be satisfied at that, turning towards the door with Jaebum in tow. “Mr. Im, I am going to keep your husband overnight to look into his condition. If I found everything to be normal, you may take him home tomorrow, but please, go beyond the parking lot this time, alright?” Jaebum nods his head in response to the doctor’s reminders and admonishment, looking infinitely sullen by what just happened.

He stares at the closing door for a while before he turns towards Mark.

“Sorry,” they both said in unison, both looking apologetic but for different reasons.

“Why are you sorry?” Jaebum asks in confusion, pulling a chair beside Mark’s bed and holding on to his hand again. Mark chooses to stare at their hands linked together, sighing deeply in exhaustion. He supposes that he shouldn’t really have listened to Nichkhun’s words, because opening his eyes only got him hurt and risking his son’s life. Mark hoped for Jaebum to finally show him he cared, but he only showed Mark that he’s not interested in whatever outcome it’ll be and either way it’s Mark who’ll be scathed by the whole ordeal.

“I… I shouldn’t have brought your private life like that,” Mark begins to say, eyes still trained on Jaebum’s fingers, noting how his wedding ring gleam under the harsh fluorescent lights. _He’ll put it off soon_. “Whatever you do with your life is none of my business. And after what my daddy did to you, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to be married to someone you truly love. It’s just that,” Mark blinks the tears that are about to well up in his eyes and bites his lip to swallow the sob brewing in his chest. “What you said a while ago really had me hurting deeply. I don’t need empty promises, Jaebum. You don’t need to appease me because I now know where I stand in our relationship. So, there’s no need for you to pretend to care about me or the baby after he’s born. You can just let go of us, I won’t take it against you.”

Jaebum swears under his breath, raising Mark’s hand against his face so his forehead could rest at the back of it.

“What a mess I made of things,” he mumbles, laughing hollowly in unquestionable frustration. “Nothing I say now will ever change how you feel, will it? Everything I say or do would only come as desperate and insincere, right?”

“What I don’t get is why are you still trying?” Mark asks in confusion, watching his proud husband look undone beside his hospital bed. “You’ve got what you wanted from the start; the farm and now a son. Your freedom will be handed to you in just a few more months. So this whole being involved in my life all of a sudden doesn’t make sense. Why would you want that when we’re breaking up anyway?”

“Why don’t we just let it go for now?” Jaebum utters silently, head lifting to meet the omega’s eyes, where Mark finally notices his husband’s dark eyes wet from obvious regret. He frowns at his state and decides to let it go, remembering the doctor’s orders he’s promised to obey. Mark nods slightly and Jaebum forces a bright smile towards him.

“I called Jinyoung to bring you a change of clothes, they’ll be here soon. Do you want anything to drink?”

Mark shyly nods his head which had Jaebum smiling genuinely.

“Okay, I will buy you strawberry milk,” the alpha replies, standing up and brushing a stray hair away from Mark’s face. “You scared me there, Mark. I thought... I thought…” Jaebum swallows deeply, clearing his throat to ease the tremble in his voice. “From now on, stay calm and relaxed, hmm? Don’t let your idiot husband upset you again, okay?”

“Okay,” Mark answers, smiling up at his husband’s gentle gaze as the latter leaves the room reluctantly.  
Mark sighs softly, looking outside the window to see the sunset finally painting the sky with purple, orange and pink hues. He runs his hand over his small bump, gently talking to his baby under his breath, apologizing for his recklessness that almost cost his son’s safety. He then starts humming a Chinese lullaby he used to hear his nanny sing for him when he was little, his voice going slightly off-key that had him apologizing to his son again while chuckling.

“I’m sorry I don’t sound as good as your _appa_. He sings so well, it’ll make your heart flutter. Too bad you’ll be stuck with my singing for the rest of your life,” he laughs, scrunching up his face in embarrassment before he feels the presence of someone watching his impromptu performance from the door.

Mark gasps in surprise, face turning red from mortification of being watched. His husband steps forward then, face marred with a bit of hesitation. The omega silently wonders why his usually collected husband seems to be at the edge of losing his control as the contours of his face seem to be struggling to keep its neutrality but only failing when his lips tremble.

Mark wasn’t able to dwell on Jaebum’s internal struggle as he jumps in surprise from the unfamiliar sensation he feels on his stomach. Seeing his expression, Jaebum rushes towards his bed, thumping the bottle of strawberry milk at the table to kneel beside him. All his pretense to look detached melts away as he scans Mark’s face frantically, searching for any sign of distress but instead the omega beams at him with unguarded joy.

“I felt him move!” he exclaims, still feeling the fluttering kick of their son in his stomach. He quickly grabs on the alpha’s hand and placed it below his abdomen, pressing his husband’s palms against his small mound so he could feel it. It wasn’t long when Jaebum sucked in a ragged breath, laughing in a mixture of awe and disbelief.

“ _Omo_!” he breathes, gazing up at Mark with a huge smile on his face. “Whoa? Does it hurt, _baby_?”

“No,” Mark says, giggling in excitement. “It kind of tickles.”

“Yes, but give it a few more weeks and it’s going to be hellishly uncomfortable, you’ll wish he would just stop,” a sarcastic voice interjects from the doorway, causing the two men to turn towards it.

Standing there is his best friend, carrying a canvass bag and his disheveled cousin, arms full of a clapping Bambam. They look like a portrait of a perfect family and Mark reluctantly lets go of his husband’s hand, feeling the immense loss of his warmth which he tries to hide by smiling brightly at his best friend.

“Jinyoung! You’re here!” Mark beams, eyes filling up as his best friend starts to walk over his bed.

“Why didn’t you tell me you’re alone? I could have headed straight to you after Bammie’s check up!” Jinyoung berates, instantly embracing the older omega, and Mark, without warning, burst into tears, surprising even himself by the overwhelming relief and realization that he and his son are safe despite what happened. “Oh, Mark-hyung. Don’t cry. It’s not going to be good for you or the baby.”

Mark tries his hardest to keep his emotional breakdown at bay, sniffing and wiping the tears from his eyes. “I’m sorry. It’s just that lately I feel so emotional.”

“Hormones,” his cousin supplies, earning him a slap at the arm from Jinyoung.

“Wait… I thought you were in Busan?” he suddenly asks Jackson, confused by his cousin’s presence.

“I was,” the alpha replies, putting his son in Jinyoung’s arms so he could hug Mark tight. “But it was wrapped up earlier. I was supposed to surprise Jinyoung here because I honestly thought I’ll be able to arrive just in time for Bammie’s check up, but my flight got delayed twice… and here we are.” Jackson sighs then, gazing back at his cousin’s face. “What happened to you? I almost had a heart attack when Jinyoung told me you were admitted here. I thought your procedure’s safe? Did something bad happened during your amniocentesis?”

Mark bites his lip in nervousness, shaking his head as response to Jackson, afraid that it’ll only cause a heated argument between his husband and cousin. He looks around for Jaebum and got confused when he couldn’t see him anywhere.

“Where’s Jaebum?” he asks warily.

Jackson chuckles halfheartedly, shaking his head in utter disbelief. “You know that I hated your husband, Markie-pooh but I have never felt bad for the guy until now. When you turned on the waterworks, he bowed his head and walks out of the room immediately. I am not sure but he looked like he’s about to cry.”

“Really? Well,” Mark shrugs slightly. “This is more than he signed up for.”

“Oh, please,” Jackson scoffs. “This is exactly what he signed up for. He wanted you pregnant, remember?”

“I know,” Mark whispers sadly.

“Look, hyung. Far be it for me to defend your husband, you know how we always frown upon on how he treated you. I could have let him get beaten by Jackson long before but... but Jaebum-hyung looked honestly pitiful just now. It’s like he’s not the typical ruthless Jaebum-hyung we all met two years ago.”

“I’ve been seeing a change on him too, Markie-pooh,” Jackson mumbles, sharing a look with Jinyoung.

“No,” Mark shakes his head. “He’s still the same man I married. He still wants an out from this marriage and so am I.”

“Hyung…” Jinyoung begins to say but the older omega cuts him off.

“Don’t defend him Jinyoung. You don’t know the things he has done,” he says, shutting his eyes in guilt that the two most important people in his life got roped into his messy relationship. He couldn’t keep the pretense anymore, so Mark starts to tell them the truth. “He gave you that loan so he could have a hold on me if I stepped out of line, which happened already when I asked for a divorce without giving him a son first. I’m just so guilty that I almost put the two of you in a difficult situation because of our issues.”

Jackson shared another meaningful look with Jinyoung, shrugging his shoulders in a silent confirmation for the unspoken question the younger omega asked.

“Hyung,” Jinyoung starts, holding his hand tightly. “We already know about that.”

“You do?” Mark asks incredulously. “How? How long have you known?”

Jinyoung sighs deeply. “Jaebum-hyung told me everything the last time both of you came by. Remember?” Mark nods. “For whatever reason, he told me he doesn’t need the leverage anymore and that he’s willing to write off our debt. I don’t feel right not paying what I borrowed so I refused. But it seems like he’ll do it anyway.”

“That’s what both of you talked about that day?” Mark asks dazedly.

“Yes,” Jinyoung nods. “And he made me swear not to tell you but under these circumstances, I guess… it’s alright to let you know.”

“Why would he do that?” Mark seems to be confused for a while, biting his lips in deep concentration before his face clears up with sudden realization. “He’s such a manipulative bastard! Of course, he won’t need the leverage anymore since I am already pregnant.”

“Markie-pooh… I think you’re over-analyzing the situation. From what Jinyoung tells me, your husband seemed to be desperate in clearing off our debt. Jinyoungie believes and I’m inclined to agree from what I saw just now that maybe Jaebum’s trying to make amends and a clean slate with you, he’s just too freaking lost and dumb enough to go about with it.”

“Well, you’re both wrong,” Mark says stubbornly, shoving the quiet nights and conversations he and Jaebum shared at the back of his mind, too determined to discount the changes he also noticed for the sake of protecting his heart. “He’s in love with someone else and as much as I want to say it’s another woman, it was me who’s probably wedged between them.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Jackson asks furiously, clenching his fist in annoyance.

“He’s in love with her long before daddy forced him into marrying me. She’s the girl he’s supposed to be with, she’s the one he really loves. I’m the one who screwed up his life, Jacks. I ruined everything for him. Once my son’s born, we will both go our separate ways and we will be finally free.”

“That is so messed up. What about you and the baby? Don’t you count for anything?”

“I don’t want Jaebum to stay with me out of some outdated sense of duty. I think I’m worth more than that, Jacks. My son and I deserve to be happy, even if it’s just us.”

“Of course, you do,” Jinyoung whispers, squeezing the older omega’s narrow shoulder before sitting on the chair beside him. “So, you felt my nephew moved?”

Mark smiles from the magical memory, nodding his head in excitement. Jackson shared a look with Jinyoung and excuses himself for a while, leaving both the omega to talk about their pregnancies.

“Yes! It was amazing to feel him suddenly move, Jinyoung. It’s such a relief to know he’s there especially after the fright we went through.”

“Yes, it was surreal. Something no one could possibly explain enough into words,” Jinyoung agrees, smiling fondly at his hyung. They stayed in silence for a good while, basking in their own little bubble until Mark breaks it.

“I can’t believe I had to be in bed for the whole week though.”

Jinyoung grabs his hand for comfort. “It’ll be alright, hyung. It’s just part of precautionary measures.”

“Do you think… Is it okay if I stayed with you for a while? At least until next week?”

Jinyoung frowns at him but nods his head in reply. “Of course, hyung. You’re always welcome in our home. But why?”

“Jaebum’s leaving for South Korea next week. Before this happened I don’t have any issues staying alone at the house but I’m afraid…”

“If you think I will leave you alone in here while you’re in strict bed rest, you might have to think again,” his husband’s gruff voice interrupts from the doorway, making Mark gasp in surprise when he turned at Jaebum’s way.

His husband looks uncharacteristically disheveled, hair brushed up with a few strands standing on ends, his pristine suit and shirt are unbuttoned and his tie loosened. In his hand is a bunch of wilted sunflowers and in the other is a Pikachu and Snorlax helium balloons looking really out of place in the monotonous layout of Mark’s hospital room.

“Hyung...” Jinyoung mutters, biting his lips to keep the giggle trying to escape his throat.

“I know, Jinyoungie. Didn’t Jaebum look like he raided every children’s room here for those things?” Jackson squeals, entering the room while belting his hyena laugh that got the other alpha gritting his teeth in annoyance.

“This is all there is in that understocked gift shop nearby,” Jaebum grumbles, looking pissed from Jackson’s mockery. Mark raises his eyebrows in surprise for his husband’s unusual defensiveness that’s totally out of character.

“Thank you, Jaebum,” Mark interjects quickly before his cousin can make a comeback and aggravate his husband further. “I love helium balloons.”

“I know you do,” he says fiercely, elbowing Jackson as he surges forward towards Mark to place the flowers on his hands. “I know that you love sunflowers and helium balloons. I also know that you love Pokemon. See, Mark? I do know things about you. I have been learning,” Jaebum says fervently, eyes filled with hope.

“Uhh…” Mark stammers, confused by his husband’s sudden admission. So Jaebum remembered what Mark likes, contradicting the latter’s argument of him not knowing anything about him. He must have taken notes from all those nights they spent talking. But what on earth was he trying to prove on this? At this point, the omega still thinks it’s all for naught. They will still part after everything.

“Nice,” Mark mumbles timidly, having no idea what to say. He sees Jackson and Jinyoung’s face wince while his husband’s shoulders drop in defeat before nodding his head.

“I postponed my travel to Korea this week so I can keep an eye on you.”

“Okay,” Mark replies still confused by his husband’s attitude.

Jaebum sits beside him on the bed while facing him. He seemed to be having second thoughts before he finally stroked the omega’s cheek. “How are you feeling?” he asks gently.

Mark fights the urge to lean on his touch and smiles instead. “I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

“Alright-y… that’s our cue to bounce, Jinyoungie,” Jackson sing-songs, carrying Bambam’s carrier, where the overzealous kid’s now asleep.

“Jacks, I didn’t mean…”

“Yes, you didn’t mean to say we should leave but you should take a rest,” Jinyoung says, kissing the top of his hyung’s head before leaving the bag on the table. “Call us if you need anything. We’ll see you soon, hyung.”

After a flurry of kisses and goodbyes, the family finally left, leaving Mark and Jaebum in sudden silence. The omega looks up at his husband’s grim face and couldn’t help but be attacked by the uncontrollable fit of giggles. Now that no one is there to see him laughing, he feels free to make fun of Jaebum in his weird state.

“What?” Jaebum asks, his grim expression melting and turning into an embarrassed smile.

“It’s just that… those balloons, Jaebum,” Mark snorts, trying to control his giggles.

“You told me you like helium balloons so I tried to look for one,” he says, tying the balloons on the omega’s bed post, it’s colors putting life on the rather dull room.

“I really do like them. Thank you, Jaebum.”

“Yes, I remember you saying that when you were talking about your cousin’s ninth birthday and how you wanted some for your own.”

But Mark didn’t receive his own set of helium balloons, actually he didn’t celebrate his birthday that year because his parents started proceeding with their divorce papers by then. Mark didn’t know why he told Jaebum that part of his life. It’s not as if he’s asking for pity. Mark doesn’t need that.

“You don’t have to stay, Jaebum. I’ll be alright now,” Mark suggests. “Why don’t you go back to the office and get some work done? I’m sure you have more important things to do than stay here with me.”

“I am exactly where I want to be,” he answers in earnest, taking the flowers from Mark’s hands to put on the plastic vase left on the bedside table. Jaebum drags the chair closer to Mark’s bed and made himself comfortable with the small cushion as he crosses his legs and stares at nothing in particular with hands now clasped in his lap looking calm and collected.

Mark merely shrugs his shoulders, too tired to even argue. He wouldn’t admit it but he’s actually relieved to have his husband’s support. There is a long silence that enveloped both of them as Mark lies on the hospital bed and Jaebum sits unmoving on the rather uncomfortable chair. The omega furtively glances at his husband’s side profile, staring at nothing in particular as he breathes in and out calmly.

“Do you think my father will come see me?” Mark suddenly asks, breaking the silence they were both completely enjoying too much. Jaebum glances at him in consternation as he shakes his head.

“I don’t think so. Because I didn’t tell him you’re here in the first place.

Mark gasps in surprise, sitting abruptly to face the alpha.

“But… why wouldn’t you tell him?” he asks, feeling rather offended for his father. He knows that the man can be an utter ass but he’s still Mark’s dad.

“The doctor said you shouldn’t be stressed, Mark. I can’t envision a meeting with your father that wouldn’t upset you.”

The realization that he couldn’t contest Jaebum’s statement had him feeling infinitely sad. As much as he wants to argue, his husband had only spoken of the truth and that had Mark sinking back into the bed with tears welling up his eyes.

“I will call him if you want me to, Mark,” Jaebum offers, caressing the omega’s hand in support.

Mark shakes his head. “No. You’re right. Nothing good will come out if my father visits. It’s just that… I keep hoping…” he lets the rest hang unspoken but Jaebum seems to understand the implications of his words as he nods his head.

“I don’t know why he’s like that. All my life I was hoping he’ll love me. But no matter what I do he wouldn’t even see me. For a while I thought I found that, someone who will finally love me but…”

Mark is barely aware of what he’s saying as his blurred eyes are now focused on their joint fingers, gold bands gleaming together under the lights. It would have been so beautiful if it was in their fingers because of love.

Jaebum sighs deeply.

“Why don’t you take a nap for now? I will keep eye on things here while you’re resting.” Whatever things his husband has to keep an eye on, Mark has no idea. But he feels tired so he merely nods his head in agreement before he settles comfortably on the bed and falls into sleep almost immediately.

 

~

>   
>  _“If this is a sin a sin a sin, I will get the punishment_  
>  _For you, even though I lose everything, everything, everything_  
>  _I want you all of you, yeah_  
>  _It’s not something that doesn’t make sense_  
>  _If this is a sin a sin a sin_  
>  _Oh everything._ ”  
>  -Defsoul, Sin

“How many times do I have to tell you to stay in bed?” Jaebum grits out behind him three days later, causing Mark to jump and smile guiltily at his rather annoyed husband.

It was mid-afternoon and the alpha was about to take a nap beside Mark when he realized that the omega’s missing. He has an idea of where he would be, so he walks over Mark’s studio and sighs in relief when he finds him there, standing in the middle and clutching his sketchbook close to his chest.

“I was so bored,” he whines, pouting as he looks up at Jaebum. “I thought it’s a good idea to draw today.”

“Why didn’t you ask me or the staff to get it for you?”

“You were catching up on work, which you have already missed so much since you’re staying with me. And it’s unnecessary to bother the staff for simple things like these,” Mark grumbles.

“You’re so stubborn,” Jaebum growls, reaching for the omega and lifting him up in his arms like he’s weightless. Mark instinctively wraps his arms around the alpha’s neck to keep his balance, face unbelievably close like this. “Why didn’t you watch TV or read books instead?”

“Because I have watched too many movies and series already. And I am not in the mood to read,” he complains sulkily, making Jaebum mutters something in Hangul. “What did you say?” Mark demands to know, glaring up at his husband.

“I said, ‘God help me from a stubborn omega’,” he translated willingly, chuckling goodheartedly.

“I am not stubborn!” Mark argues, pursing his lips together like a petulant child.

Jaebum merely chuckles at that, shaking his head in a joke only he seems to understand. He hoisted Mark closer to his chest as he carry him towards the bedroom, where he placed the pregnant man on his side of the bed, before he shuts his eyes and lies next to him.

Mark instantly stares at Jaebum’s face, cataloguing his sharp features and perfect skin. His eyes linger on his two distinctive moles, tracing his beauty marks with his piercing gaze. Mark couldn’t help but let his eyes wander towards Jaebum’s exposed neck, counting the freckles littered on his skin like constellation. He has always wanted to trace them with his fingers but as usual, he stops the urge to do so.

He still can’t touch Jaebum. He has no right to do so.

“Have you thought of baby names yet?” Jaebum suddenly asks, surprising Mark as he turns to his side and pulls him close. The alpha slowly opens his eyes and instantly focuses them at Mark, smiling fondly while he nuzzles towards the omega’s abdomen.  
Mark looks at him softly, before nodding his head slightly and mindlessly letting his hands run through the alpha’s hair.

“Yes. I like the name Lorenzo and Rafael. I am also thinking about Abraham but I am leaning more on _Yugyeom_ …” Mark trails off, belatedly realizing what he has revealed to his husband and what the name entails. He silently hoped Jaebum wouldn’t notice, but his husband is always sharp in his observations and Mark can’t help feeling like he’s back at square one with the alpha.

“Yugyeom?” Jaebum observes casually. “A Korean name?”

Mark stayed silent then, biting his lips in contemplation. Fortunately, Jaebum didn’t prod the subject further and the omega relaxes immensely.

“What about girl names?” Jaebum asks carefully, rubbing Mark’s mound with reverence like his life depends on it.

Mark scowls at the question.

“I like the name Saera,” he murmurs dreamily, still caressing the bump on the omega’s stomach. “Or Kylie. Saera will have black hair like mine but she’ll have your smile. She’ll be a sweet and obedient child. But Kylie will have too much energy, she’ll be stubborn and temperamental like you. She'll throw a fit all the time—”

“Stop it!” Mark hisses angrily. “There will be no Saera or Kylie! I am going to have a boy, an alpha at that. He will be a Lorenzo or Rafael or even a Yugyeom! He’ll have the sweetest smile and he’ll grow compassionate and loving.”

Jaebum doesn’t comment on that, only letting Mark stew in his silence as he kept up with the soothing movements of his hand along his stomach. They stayed that way for a while, contemplating in their own bubble of quietness. It wasn’t long when the movement of Jaebum's hand slows down, until it completely stopped and becomes heavy on Mark’s belly. The telltale of a soft snore confirms that Jaebum is asleep and Mark sighs quietly before letting himself drift off as well.

 

Mark wakes up with a warm orange glow seeping through the bedroom window, flooding the room in light as he pushes the haze of sleep off of his mind. He could feel Jaebum’s body now crowding behind his, one arm beneath his neck while the other is protectively splayed on his stomach. Mark is about to stretch his limbs when he feels the hardened length of his husband poking his back.

“Don’t panic,” Jaebum whispers hoarsely, holding Mark away from him so he could roll of the bed. “It’s nothing.”

“It doesn’t feel nothing to me,” Mark whispers under his breath, amazing himself when instead of letting his husband go, he grabs his crotch and rests his dainty fingers on the thickening flesh under his jeans.

“Mark… _baby_ …” Jaebum pleads, voice strained. “Stop doing that. I can’t… I don’t think…”

“Don’t think anymore,” Mark purrs, turning towards his husband so he could plaster his body against him better, whilst keeping his hand along his shaft. “Just feel it.”

“What the hell has gotten into you?” the alpha grits out, looking like he’s struggling to keep his urges at bay.

Mark doesn’t know the answer to that, all he knows is that he misses Jaebum in him, beside him, all over him for months. While logically he knows that it’s his hormones fueling his unwanted urges, Mark cannot deny that it’s his undying love and desire for Jaebum that plays a huge role for his unusual advances.

“Mark, the doctor advised no sex. Besides you don’t really want this,” he mutters, reaching down to halt the omega’s hand.

“I do. I want this,” Mark demands, pulling his hand off his husband’s strong grip.

“No, you don’t. It’s just your hormones making you feel that. You don’t…” Jaebum wasn’t able to complete his statement, as his trail of thought flew out of the window when Mark straddles him, grinding down his crotch and surprising him. The omega smiles victoriously when the alpha’s head tilts down the pillow, losing all sense of control as he grabs on Mark’s waist, keeping him in place while their erections rub against each other underneath their own items of clothing.

“Mark, we shouldn’t really do this. We can’t have sex,” Jaebum repeatedly whispers under his breath, contradicting his words by his actions since he couldn’t seem to stop meeting Mark’s thrust.

The omega sensually bends over towards Jaebum’s ear, nipping at the sensitive skin before whispering, “Who says we need to have sex? Can’t we fool around a little bit?”

Jaebum’s shocked face was comical if it wasn’t for the situation they both are in. He looks at Mark incredulously while restraining himself from succumbing completely to the omega’s advances. It took him a while to finally find resolution, and Mark braced himself when his husband’s eyes dilated—piercing his skin with prickling excitement as both their foreheads start to bead with sweat.

The alpha snakes his hand at the back of Mark’s neck, pulling him down towards his mouth until they’re a hairbreadth apart. The latter can breathe in his husband, so precariously close to his lips like they would literally close the distance if Mark didn’t pull his face away from Jaebum who by now looks like he’s in perpetual pain for not having the omega’s mouth on his.

“Mark, _baby_ ,” he finally begs. “Give me your mouth. I need to taste you. _Jebal_.”

“No lips,” Mark protests, putting his hand on his husband’s chest to keep the distance between them. “This isn’t…”

“Isn’t what?” Jaebum cuts off, eyes flaring and body going taut underneath him.

“Personal,” the omega completes in a whisper, surprised at the flash of hurt flickering at his husband’s usually unreadable eyes.

“This feels pretty damn personal to me, Mark!” the alpha hisses, voice cracking with an emotion the omega cannot place.

“I just need you,” Mark mumbles, closing his eyes to keep his emotions hidden under his lids from Jaebum’s sharp eyes. He suddenly fees his husband stop him from his ministrations by using his superior strength to carefully lifting his lithe body away from his sturdy one.

“I won’t let you use me like that,” he grits out, standing up from the bed to look down at him.

“Why not?” Mark asks, tears of frustration and anger sliding down his cheeks. “You used me the same way before. No cuddling, no kissing, no touching, no looking in the eyes, no warmth—nothing! You had sex with me before, stripped the act of everything but the bare essentials. And that’s all that I want from you now. Why can’t you give me that?”

“What? Is this some kind of payback? You want me to feel how it’s like to feel used? Well, congratulations, Mark, you’ve proven your point well as it went straight home where it hurts. Consider it a lesson well learned.”

“I am not trying to prove anything!” he argues, voice thick with tears. “I just don’t want to get emotionally involved again. I can’t make another mistake of thinking there will be more between us other than physical attraction.”

“I’m sorry, Mark,” Jaebum concedes, hands clasped and resting behind his head in frustration as he looks down at the omega’s frail state. “I can’t give you what you want, not the way you want it.”

“Why not? You have done it before. We can just go back to that,” Mark points out, wiping his tears to see his husband clearer.

“There’s no going back to that,” he negated sharply, kneeling now so he and Mark are at the same eye level. “Never again, baby.”

“I know I am not your type,” Mark urges on, ignoring the deep rumble of dismay coming from his husband’s throat. “I know I don’t look like those idols you sleep with. But you managed to sleep with me even if I’m incomparable to them. You have overlooked that once, I am sure you can do it again.”

“You can’t be serious, Mark! That isn’t true.”

“Well, how do you explain the fact that you can barely look at me?” Jaebum winces at the apparent embarrassment lacing Mark’s voice which the latter’s feigned bravado couldn’t hide. “I know how much you hated touching me. I may have been a virgin when we got married but I know enough to realize that a man who needed to drown himself with alcohol before consummating his marriage with his sham-husband, scrubbing the said unwanted husband’s scent thirty seconds after the deed and ignoring him for a year and a half has to be repulsed by the unskilled man in his bed. I am not stupid, Jaebum. You never wanted me.”

Jaebum curses under his breath, lifting his hands to scrub his face and eyes and up to his hair until the ends stand in peaks on top of his head. He stands there in utter frustration, helplessly staring down at Mark with his fingers linked at the nape of his neck once again, seemingly loss for words to placate him.

After a moment of contemplation, Jaebum crawls back on the bed beside Mark, sitting in the middle to place the omega onto his lap so they’re sitting face to face. He puts his arms around his back, creating a fortified human cage around his trembling body.

“Mark,” he breathes softly, burying his face on the top of the omega’s head, kissing it tenderly. Jaebum then cups the latter’s cheek, staring intently into his eyes to convey his honesty by sheer force of will. “I want you. I have always want you.”

Mark’s tear-filled eyes sweeps along his husband’s serious face and couldn’t decide if he’s being sincere as he wears his controlled expression once again.

“You don’t need to lie to me. I can accept the truth and won’t let it upset me. I’m sorry I unnecessarily opened this issue when I know what your situation was and why you acted that way. This won’t happen again. Please let go of me,” Mark hurriedly mumbles, starting to escape his husband’s embrace but only to be held tighter by Jaebum.

“Listen to me,” Jaebum commands, tilting Mark’s chin so their eyes meet once more. “You don’t deserve how I treated you. No amount of excuse will free me from my sins, Mark. And no matter what you think, I want you to know that I have always wanted you. In fact, I couldn’t keep my hands off of you.”

“You couldn’t?” Mark asks, voice still full of skepticism.

“Why do you think I still insisted us sharing a bed? And despite my initial hate with our arrangement, I cannot get enough of you.”

“Really?” Mark mumbles softly, staring down into his husband’s chest, too weak to stare into his heavy eyes that seem to be holding some truth in them.

“Yes. It may be hard to believe but I have never slept with any of those people the tabloids have paired me with,” Jaebum assures, stroking the satiny soft skin of Mark’s cheekbones.

“You really didn’t sleep with them? Or had an affair with them?” he asks, voice small and quivering.

Jaebum shakes his head fervently before meeting the omega’s forehead.

“I didn’t. You’re enough for me.”

“Why should I believe you?” Mark finally asks.

“Why should I lie to you? I have nothing to gain from this. In a few months time we will get divorce and go our separate ways… _right_?” Jaebum mumbles, the last came out a bit uncertainly and Mark blinks at the sudden reminder.

“Yes. Of course,” he replies softly.

“So lying about it now achieves nothing…” Jaebum adds, shrugging his shoulders in emphasis.

Mark smiles timidly and thanked him under his breath. He doesn’t know why and what he’s thanking him for. Thank you for telling the truth? Thank you for not sleeping to those people he got linked with? Mark doesn’t know. All he feels now is the infinite relief of knowing that the rumors weren’t true and that the public humiliation had no basis as his husband never cheated on him.

Mark shuts out the lingering memory of Bae Joo-hyun at the back of his mind, choosing to keep her hidden as he drops his head onto his husband’s shoulder, melting into his warm embrace.

They stayed that way until Jaebum suggested they eat dinner in bed while they spent the night watching movies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am hurting for Jaebum for this chapter. Do you feel the same way too? Hahahaha!
> 
> Thank you for reading, guys! I love you so so so much!
> 
> See you soon!
> 
> Xoxo,  
> A


	11. For Them

> _“I won’t hang onto you, I will smile_   
>  _This is me, don’t hesitate anymore_   
>  _Leave me_
> 
> _This is a beautiful lie_  
>  _My last lie_  
>  _Even if it hurts to death_  
>  _I am hiding myself_  
>  _under a mask for you.”_  
>  -VIXX LR, Beautiful Liar

That event caused the two men to have an unspoken truce and to make peace with the looming months remaining ahead. Jaebum lets Mark become more involved in his life, asking for his opinion about work to mundane things like what he should wear. Mark seeing this drastic change, tried doing it as well, letting the alpha comment on his art and was surprised when he completed the three piece portrait collection he’s been having problems for months from mainly just listening to what his husband thinks.

Their living conditions have been better although not perfect. They still sleep apart by Mark’s insistence, stubbornly putting a distance between them and careful not to let the touches become more than friendly and innocent. But they seem to relish in the cuddling, gravitating towards one another even when they are simply seated on the sofa or watching movies on the bed. Their two hours, three nights per week together continued, only this time it went beyond the time limit. Jaebum being able to sneak in more time and Mark becoming too tired to call him out.

Although Jaebum is still there during doctor’s appointments and attending birth coaching trainings with Mark, he is still no more than a replacement as the omega still tries to convince his cousin to do it with him. The blatant disregard was obviously grating on Jaebum’s nerves but the alpha seems to lose any will to argue, so he would usually let it go.

There is still the ominous presence of Bae Joo-hyun looming in the midst of them, slicing Mark’s heart to tiny pieces whenever he would be reminded of her existence. Jaebum had gone to South Korea a couple of times throughout the two months that had passed, and Mark being curious as to how and what his husband’s doing, checked the internet for updates about him. He immediately regretted it as his screen was instantaneously flooded with recent photos of him with _Irene_ , as the press seemed to call her, drinking and smiling—the picturesque of perfection as they compliment each other’s beauty well. Jaebum with his brooding handsome features and Irene’s snowy white skin and delicate face. Mark couldn’t seem to understand the article since it was in Hangul but everything about the photos spoke volumes of how different Jaebum is in his _home_. His unguarded smile is what pained Mark to see, as it was how he should have smiled during their wedding day and not the unemotional and rigid face he made, that if he so much as moved his lips, he might crack.

He never mentioned seeing the photos to Jaebum anyway, afraid that it would only spark unwanted drama and be called out of being jealous when he had to realize and accept that he will never have the right to be. Besides, it’s just less than a month and he’ll be giving birth, a few more weeks and they’ll have a divorce… they’ll be free from each other.

Mark sighs in heart wrenching sadness at the thought while he makes soothing circles along his stomach, silently wishing he’s in a better circumstance and not this one.

His health continued to fluctuate, affecting his pregnancy as he was diagnosed with _oligohydramnios_ , needing a rather closer observation on his body as he was extended to having bed rest until birth. Hearing this from the doctor had Jaebum turning into a mother hen, smothering Mark with his presence when he completely went on leave of absence just so he could hover around the omega twenty-four seven.

Mark becoming more bored by the extended bed rest, started decorating the nursery instead, buying infant clothes and toys for his son. He also sketched a design for the walls, making a perfect set up for a baby boy. However, Jaebum continued to contest his ideas, sneakily painting the walls in gender neutral color, changing Mark’s initial idea of making it blue to green. He didn’t have the heart to argue with him anymore as the color seemed to be soothing and it sits perfectly with the design he made. The alpha also started filling the room with girls’ toys, choosing to buy dolls and unicorns instead of Mark’s usual choice of robots and Legos.

Now that he sits on the small sofa of the said nursery, watching the rain pitter patter against the window pane, Mark let his roiling thoughts wash over him, dissecting them one by one as he tries to relax his mind completely.

“There you are,” Jaebum whispers then, kneeling on the floor so he could place his head on the omega’s lap, face perfectly level with his stomach. Mark lets him plaster his body against his, now used to his husband’s need for skin ship. “How are you feeling?”

Mark shrugs his shoulders, hand going straight to Jaebum’s hair so he could let it run along the soft strands, a habit he acquired as well as they try to become closer. 

“I’m fine.”

“What are you thinking?” the alpha asks, starting with his own rubbing over Mark’s stomach.

“Nothing much. Just things,” he trails off, feeling his husband sigh below him, tightening his hold on Mark with each breath.

Neither of them said anything for the next few minutes, just merely staring out of nowhere, too consumed by their own bubble. The rain continues to fall outside, creating a lulling music that fills the silence of the room.

“I want you to meet my dad,” Jaebum suddenly mutters, surprising Mark in the process as he looks down his husband’s huge body seated below him on the floor.

“What?” the omega squeaks, voice hoarse from shock. He heard the question loud and clear, but he wants to confirm the implications of what Jaebum’s asking from him—won’t his father be upset once he meets Mark? He’s the son of his enemy, right?

“I want to introduce you to my father,” his husband repeats patiently, eyes hopeful and pleading.

Mark bites his lips in trepidation, not really sure if he’s ready to do it. Besides, there’s a bunch of factors hindering it from happening, one would be the fact that Mark couldn’t fly towards the other part of the world since it’s extremely dangerous for him. And as much as he wants to avoid thinking about it, the omega knows how Jaebum’s family perceived and sees him. “I don’t think that’s…”

“His condition is getting worse,” Jaebum cuts off before the omega could complete his hesitation.

“Oh, Jaebum,” Mark breathes suddenly, eyes welling up from sympathy for his husband and his family, hugging him briefly from their position before lifting the latter’s face so he could look into his eyes. “You have to go _home_. You’ve got to be with him.”

“I am not going anywhere, I will stay here,” his husband says stubbornly, anchoring himself along Mark’s waist, holding on to him like he’s a lifeline.

“If…” Mark clears his throat, eyes closing in anguish at the realization of why his husband refuses to go back home. “If the reason you want to stay is because of me, then please reconsider your decision, Jaebum. You’re family needs you right now more than ever. That is where you should be.”

“But you also need me right now. I can never leave you alone here,” Jaebum mumbles, burrowing himself deeper into the omega’s side.

“I am not alone,” Mark argues lightly. “Jinyoung and Jackson can always stay here with me, the staff too. I have people who can help me here. But your family… it’s where you’ve got to be right now.”

“I am where I want to be!” Jaebum argues back, voice raising with apparent frustration, leaving the comfort of Mark’s stomach so he could show how serious he is. “And this is where I am staying. You need me and I won’t let you be alone. Stop arguing me on this, Mark.”

“But I won’t let you blame this on me, Jaebum. If… if something bad happens and you are not there, your family will hate me more. I have already ruined enough from your lives. At least let me make amends by asking you to do the right thing. Go to where you’re most needed.”

“I am doing the right thing by staying here with you. You needed me the most.”

“No, I don’t,” Mark insists, shaking his head for good measure. “Jaebum, you have sacrificed enough for them, now go back home and stay with your father. He’s family.”

Mark could feel his stomach heavy with lead as his conflicting thoughts and feelings clash together while he tries to convince his husband to do the right thing. He doesn’t want to let go of Jaebum yet, not this early in their time limited relationship, but in this dire situation of his husband’s father, Mark chooses to make peace by swallowing once again, his wants and needs.

“ _Jaebum_ …”

“I said I won’t leave! I want to be here with you. Why is it so hard for you to understand? You’re my family too!”  
Mark reels away from Jaebum’s exasperated face, jaw going slack at his husband’s burst of anger and moisture welling in his eyes, which he didn’t bother to hide.

“My father is dying and I want to introduce you to him. I want him to know you,” Jaebum croaks, voice thick with tears as he dives into the omegas’ lap once again, grabbing his hand so he could intertwine them together and hug it close to his chest.

“How will I meet him in this state?” Mark asks him in confusion after a while. “I am not allowed to travel.”

“Baby… we can always _Skype_. That way neither one of you and my appa won’t need to fly,” Jaebum deadpans, looking up at Mark and smiling slightly when the realization dawns on him.

Biting his lips, Mark nods his head and leans back on the sofa with his hand going back into the alpha’s hair, like the last five minutes didn’t just happen. He might look like he’s calm, but deep inside his mind he’s already too overwhelmed, the myriad of emotions he couldn’t just hide by a simple nod of his head.

They spent the whole afternoon like that, Mark silently waiting for the rain to stop and hoping everything will be alright.

~

> _“Do you ever wonder if the stars shine out for you?_  
>  _Float down_  
>  _Like autumn leaves_  
>  _Hush now_  
>  _Close your eyes before the sleep_  
>  _And you're miles away_  
>  _And yesterday you were here with me."_  
>  -Ed Sheeran, Autumn Leaves

It was after dinner when Jaebum tells him to go towards his studio so he could introduce him to his father. He has a huge screen and video camera set up already, panned towards the spacious leather sofa where he lead Mark to sit while he types in his keyboard.

“They will love you,” Jaebum mutters mindlessly, too engrossed in the task that he didn’t hear or see Mark gasping in panic.

“ _They_?” he squeaks, not really sure he’s ready for this meeting after all.

“Yes,” Jaebum nods. “My _eomma_ and _halmeoni_ are there taking care of _appa_. Even my cousins.” Jaebum seeing the panic in Mark’s eyes, squeezed his hand in assurance.

“It’ll be alright, Mark. It’s just how we are back home. My family lives together so someone would always be available to look after _appa_.”

“You’re father’s at home?” Mark asks carefully, seeing how his husband’s face dims from any excitement.

“Yes, since he’s been hospitalized for two years in a row before, he convinced all of us to take him back home. He said if he’s going to die, he wants to die in his _home_.”

“That’s understandable. He waited so long to go back there,” Mark agrees, eyes now diverted to his nervous fingers fidgeting on his loose shirt. “I am glad you have given it back to him. I am just sorry it cost you more than it should have.”

Jaebum tilts his chin by then, meeting his eyes with an emotion the omega couldn’t really read. He expected his husband to say something, but he merely puts his forehead against him, closing his eyes as he breathes deeply.

The sound of a phone ringing made them pull apart, signaling that the people from the other side of the world is ready. Mark blindly braces himself towards the arm chair, finding support in almost nothing as he feels infinitely alone in this meeting with his husband’s family.

_Good god, just please do not let them hate me more than they already do._

An image of an elderly couple fills the previously blank screen right after his husband clicks on his keyboard. Their faces lit up in excitement as they started talking to his husband in Korean. Mark, not knowing enough of the language, but just the basic introductions and etiquette, sits there quietly, observing the family as they converse animatedly.

Having nothing else to do but keep silent, Mark decides to gaze on the couple, noticing that despite the drastic change he could see from the man sitting on the wheelchair, he could still make out that it’s his husband’s father, as the smile’s identical to Jaebum with the way his eyes disappear like half moons on his face when he laughs heartily.

It was also at that moment that the man’s gaze turns to him, giving him that unguarded smile that almost made Mark keen from where he sits.

“ _Appa_ , _eomma_ , I know it has been quite a long time of waiting but I want you to meet my husband, _uri nampyeon_ , Mark,” Jaebum suddenly interjects, taking that opportunity to introduce him to them.

“ _Annyeong haseyo. Mannaseo bangapseumnida_ ,” he says carefully, not really knowing if he said it right but the alpha looks down at him with a beaming smile, so he supposes he did alright. “It was nice to meet you,” he says in English, in case the couple did not understand what he said in his clumsy Hangul.

Jaebum’s father smiles widely at that, chuckling good humoredly at Mark, Jaebum’s mother on the other hand purses her lips in disapproval, face turning cold as she avoids looking at the camera, instead focusing her attention at the old man who’s now talking in rapid-fire Korean with Jaebum.

“ _Appa_ said you are so beautiful,” Jaebum translates later, grabbing Mark’s hand in delight. “He also said it was nice to meet you.”

Mark couldn’t help the tears forming in his eyes from the relief those simple words brought to his nerves.

“ _Kamsahamnida_ ,” he tells the old man, who looks delighted by his effort to speak the language. He starts telling Jaebum something in Korean again, losing Mark in the process. It is obvious that they were talking about him since Jaebum’s giving him sidelong glances before laughing with his dad. Mark feeling rather left out, nudges his husband’s shoulder to prod him for a translation. Jaebum chuckles at that, telling something to his parents first then glancing back at him.

“My father said that you look like an angel but something in your eyes tells him you’re not as innocent as you look. He said you look like someone with a fiery temper.”

The omega’s eyes narrows at that, piercing Jaebum with a look. “And what did you tell him?”

“I said he knows how to read people well. Because when I married you, I honestly thought you’re an angel through and through, until I woke the lurking beast inside of you.”

“A beast?” Mark asks incredulously in a highly offended voice, slapping Jaebum’s stomach lightly, surprising even himself with the aggressive gesture.

Jaebum’s father burst into a warm and genuine laughter at that, so easy and carefree that everyone, including his wife, looked at the man with a smile. Once his laughter died down, he brings back his gaze towards Mark, talking to him in a foreign language that had his husband beside him choking up.

It took Jaebum a while before he finally spoke in English, translating his father’s statement with his voice getting wobbly a little bit.

“ _Appa_ said that he is happy to see me with a spouse who isn’t scared to meet me head on. He said it’s good to see me being married to someone who wouldn’t let himself be trampled on and thinks that we will have strong sons and daughters because of you,” Jaebum clears his throat, clearing the huskiness that seem to stick into his words. “He is very honored to call you as his son and that he’s proud that my children will be coming from a strong and reliable person like you.”

“Oh,” Mark gasps, hand instantly covering his mouth and eyes blinking the tears forming there. “Oh, god.”

“Mark…” Jaebum pleads in his ear, silently reminding him to keep himself together as to not agitate the old man. Mark breathes in deep to get back to his bearings, smiling brightly towards Jaebum’s father while he stands from the sofa, earning him a confused frown from his husband.

“I am happy to hear that, Sir. I am also glad that I have the opportunity to bear a child from a strong and loving family such as yours. I hope I will be able to present my son to you soon. Also, please allow me to properly greet you,” Mark says, as he waits for his husband to translate it for him.

He starts to kneel slowly as soon as the old man nods his head, making sure he’s doing the traditional bow in a way Jinyoung taught him how to, should he meet Jaebum’s parents. It was hard doing it now that he’s pregnant, as his balance wasn’t perfect but he internally rejoiced when he managed to kneel perfectly and stand back on his feet. Jaebum was immediately beside him, holding his arm before both of them bowed in front of the two elderly.

“You are sweet angel,” Jaebum’s father croaks in his highly accented deep voice, eyes misty but smile wide after Mark’s formal greeting. “Two years, I so very worry for Jaebum-ah. But he is… happy. You make Jaebum-ah a happy boy. I thank you. Too much love here, I see. I’m happy.”

Mark wasn’t able to respond to that but just a nod and a teary _thank you_ , too overwhelmed by the idea that Jaebum’s father saw, with just the little time they met, how much he loves his son. 

Jaebum and his father continued to talk after that, their conversation leading to something more serious as the old man seems to be telling his husband a lot of things, his breath going shallow with every word he says until it’s apparent that he’s too tired to even speak. Jaebum’s mother, seeing this, finally halts their conversation, admonishing her husband lightly as they smile fondly towards each other.

“ _Eomma_ says appa needs to take his medication and rest,” Jaebum whispers on Mark’s ear, hands unconsciously squeezing the omega’s tightly as he tries to act brave in front of his parents. Mark didn’t have the heart to complain since he knows how much Jaebum needs all the support he could get, as no one knows if it’ll be the last time he’ll able to see his father. With a few more farewells uttered, Jaebum’s mother carefully wheeled her husband out of the room, the door resounding a soft click before they finally noticed the presence of another person now seated on the chair Jaebum’s mom had just vacated.

Recognizing who it was, Jaebum’s face immediately brightens, greeting the old woman in delight.

“ _Halmeoni_!” he turns towards Mark, telling him who it is with a huge smile on his face, the latter was about to give a genuine smile of his own when the older woman starts to launch into a speech, voice low and obviously furious. Whatever she is saying immediately wipes the smile on Jaebum’s face, making him clench his jaw in a barely handled anger. He hisses something equally dire sounding towards his grandmother, who by then gasps in horror, looking in total disbelief by Jaebum’s actions. By then two other women, who Mark recognized as Jaebum’s younger cousins stepped into view, coming after their grandmother's aid as they argue with their older cousin in contempt, until all that can be heard are the unintelligible yelling over the speakers.

“You!” the older woman suddenly says in English, eyes seemingly trained on Mark. “You no pride! You disgrace to him. Why you force man to marry you? He don’t love you, he love a better woman! You no pride, I tell you! You no pride!”

Mark chokes in distress, feeling the gravity of the older woman’s hatred towards him as her eyes pierces through his being and burning him with pure and sheer contempt. His eyes immediately welled with tears and Jaebum curses under his breath before saying something ominously dangerous towards the three women on the other line. 

The omega wasn’t able to hear what his husband says, as he already struggled to stand up on his feet and walk out of Jaebum’s studio. He could hear the alpha calling his name but he ignored his protests, too keen in running away from Jaebum’s family and their hate for him.

“Mark, wait. Please, I apologize on her behalf, she’s… she’s old and stubborn,” Jaebum says desperately, grabbing his arms as he tries to wrestle away from the former’s hold. “What she said wasn’t true.”

“It wasn’t?” Mark asks wryly, meeting his husband’s gaze with his tear-filled eyes. “I didn’t make your family miserable? I didn’t make your life miserable? Of course, I did, Jaebum. I made your life hell as I keep you away from your family and your dying father." Mark breathes shakily. "You don't love me, but I still stayed and took what I should have not taken. I have no pride? Your grandmother hit that right, because if I have any pride left in my body, I wouldn’t have agreed on this sham. Everything your grandmother said was right and that’s my own shame to deal with.”

“Mark, please,” Jaebum begs, confusing Mark of what he really wanted.

“Let me go, Jaebum. I can’t take anymore of this,” he says, pushing his husband away.

“No, I won’t,” the alpha stubbornly grits out, legs folding until he’s kneeling in front of Mark’s frame, embracing the omega’s waist as he holds him tightly, grounding him closer to him. “Listen to me, please. She’s wrong about everything because you didn’t keep me away from _appa_ , I choose to be with you. I want to be with you. Please, Mark. Don’t go.”

“I am so tired of doing this over and over, Jaebum. Just let me go. Just please, let me go,” Mark says after a long pause, sending a pointed glare on Jaebum kneeling and holding on to his waist. The latter, probably seeing the anguish in the omega’s face, dejectedly releases him, letting him go upstairs where he spent a good hour crying until he fell asleep.

~

> _“And my mother and all of my family_  
>  _Rise from the seats to sing hallelujah.”_  
>  -Ed Sheeran, Afire Love

Mark wakes up sometime at dawn, immediately becoming aware that he wasn’t alone in the bed anymore. Jaebum is behind him; his huge frame plastered and curved along his own, one arm is curled beneath his neck while the other is slung over his waist as his husband’s hand cups his swollen belly protectively. He could feel the alpha’s hot breath fanning his nape, indicating that he was asleep and must have sneaked in when Mark dozed off hours ago.

Jaebum has never been this close to him while sleeping before, there were times when they were cuddling but they always still sleep separately after, keeping the distance Mark insisted on. But right now, as the omega could feel his husband’s warmth behind him, he couldn’t help but let Jaebum hold on to his body, let him take what he could even when he wouldn’t be able to remember it tomorrow morning.

Mark is just about to doze off again, when the buzzing of Jaebum’s phone on the bedside table makes him jump, the movement consequently waking up his husband, who is instantly alert behind him.

“You okay?” he asks groggily, squinting at the time flashing on their bedside table.

“Someone’s calling you,” Mark chooses to say, lead filling his stomach because of the ominous call.

His husband, probably feeling it too, immediately snatches his phone from it’s place, tension seeping from his rigid shoulders as he puts the phone against his ear.

“ _Eomma_?”

Mark sits up on the bed while he tries to make out Jaebum’s face with the light illuminating from outside the window. The alpha’s face closes up like a fist as he bows his head in sorrow and Mark lays a hand on his husband’s shoulder, fighting the tears threatening to come out, as he silently provide support.

“ _Mwo_?” Jaebum asks hoarsely, voice tensed and strained as he continues talking over the phone. Mark tunes it out while he listens to the anguish and pain in his husband’s voice which the alpha insistently hides behind his harshly controlled voice.

Mark starts stroking Jaebum’s back, hoping it’ll help ease the pain the latter’s feeling and make it known that he’s there for him. He was silent for a while before Mark realized that the phone call’s finished, and he turns to look up at Jaebum, seeing him staring out of nowhere, stoic and unmoving.

“When?” he asks gently, hand now stroking Jaebum’s cheek.

“About ten minutes ago,” he whispers, closing his eyes while leaning on Mark’s touch.

“You go grab a shower. I will pack a bag and book a flight for you.” Mark switches the lamp on, heaving himself up from the bed as fast as he could with the heavy bump he’s carrying. He moves towards the en-suite bathroom, turning the lights on as he starts the shower for the alpha to take. Going back into the bedroom, Jaebum’s still unmoving, staring out of nothing and Mark steps towards him, kissing the top of his head before shaking him slightly.

“ _Jaebum-ah_ , come on and take that shower. You need to go back _home_ ,” Mark murmurs once again, using the endearment to clear the haze from his husband’s mind which worked since Jaebum glances at him tightly, nodding his head before heading towards the shower.

Mark immediately made phone calls to book Jaebum a flight to South Korea, simultaneously packing a bag of clothes for him, making sure all of the essentials are there, silently thankful that his husband’s always prepared as he has his passport and documents always placed in one bag.

It took him thirty minutes to finish the task, returning to their room only to find the shower still running and Jaebum standing in the middle not moving. Mark bites his lip in contemplation, coming up with a decision a minute later as he strips off to his skin so he could step in the shower with his husband.

Jaebum looks like he wasn’t aware of Mark’s presence, made obvious by his jerk of surprise at the tentative touch the latter presses onto his shoulder. He lets his arms wrap around Jaebum’s wide back, until his hand meets along his broad chest, pressing his cheek on his wide shoulders.

“I’m so sorry, Jaebum,” he whispers, kissing the alpha’s skin, feeling how he trembles and shudder against him. Jaebum turns around to gather Mark in his arms, burrowing his face in the latter’s neck and breathing him in. They stayed that way for quite some time, until the alpha raises his head to gaze at Mark, eyes filled with tears and pain he’s too weak to hide anymore.

“Oh, Jaebum.”

Jaebum then presses his lips against the omega, kissing him fervently like he’s a man going to the desert and Mark’s his one and only sustenance. Mark lets him take what he needs, giving him all he could ever give just to ease the pain he’s feeling, at least for a little bit.

“I don’t want to leave you here,” Jaebum whispers softly, forehead pressed against Mark’s as he shuts his eyes. “Not now.”

“I’ll be fine,” Mark assures him, cupping his jaw and kissing him briefly on his cheek. “I have people who can take care of me and the baby here. Now, go back to your family. They need you.”

“You’re my family too,” Jaebum protests weakly. “You need me too.”

Mark shakes his head at that, brushing his husband’s wet hair away from his face, pushing it back so he could easily see his eyes. Mark’s heart plunges down his stomach when he sees how sorrowful and torn he looks.

“Listen to me, Jaebum. Right now, your family needs you more. Having you here when you should have been with them will only add to my stress. So please, just go to South Korea, think of your mom and grandmother, they are suffering right now. Don’t think about me. I’ll be fine.”

Jaebum shuts his eyes once more, thinking deeply before he nods and reluctantly lets go of Mark.

“Okay,” he inhales deeply, hands shakily rubbing his face. “I will go.”

Mark immediately moves out of the shower after hearing that, grabbing a towel for him and Jaebum to dry themselves off. He guides his husband in everything, staying true to his words when he said he’ll handle everything. It was an hour later when they are standing at the front porch, the service car and driver awaiting for his husband to hop on.

“Promise me that you’ll eat well,” Jaebum reminds him for the umpteenth time, making Mark nod in confirmation so his husband would be assured that he’ll be fine. “You will tell your cousin and Jinyoung if something’s wrong?” Another nod. “You will always take your vitamins?” Mark nods again, hearing how his husband’s voice start to quiver, losing it’s usual bravado.

“I promise, _Jaebum-ah_ ,” Mark mutters, giving him a wavering smile.

“You say this Mark… but you forget,” the alpha shakes his head in frustration. “It is important for you and baby… but you no remember to take. I worry, you make me worry.”

Mark’s heart aches, knowing it is the extreme stress and anxiety that had his husband’s usually impeccable and lightly-accented English failing him completely at that moment. Wanting to free him of his anguish, the omega steps in towards him, kissing his cheeks and hugging him briefly.

“Why don’t you call Jinyoung or one of the staff heads so you’re sure I’m being reminded of these things?” he suggests softly, making Jaebum nod his head in agreement.

“Yes, I will,” he breathes, gazing at the omega intently, adding, “Call me if you need me, okay? Anytime. If you need anything or just want to talk, call me, please?”

“Of course,” Mark answers, not really sure if he’s husband will be able to talk to him since he’s sure he’ll be busy, but just to appease Jaebum he lets on.

“I will call you everyday, _baby_. I promise.”

“Okay,” Mark replies, not really sure why the promise made him want to cry. “Now you better go before you miss your flight. Take care, alright? Bye, Jaebum.”

Jaebum nods at that, dragging Mark into his arms so he could plant a passionate kiss onto his lips before finally letting the omega go. He walks down the steps until he's beside the car where he hesitantly hovers at the door for a while, turning around to give Mark one last look as he eventually caves and entered the vehicle to be driven away.

_Gone away without the assurance that he'll be back._

Mark turns blindly towards the house after that, walking aimlessly as he suddenly feels lost now that Jaebum’s gone. He finds himself turning towards the nursery, the one place he could say the house had both of their personal touches, seeing how his husband’s preference mixed well with his, and how wonderful it would have been if they’re really in this forever and not for just a few months—or weeks.

Now that the realization of their time running out has dawned on him, Mark couldn’t help releasing the sob coming out of his lips, wrenching his chest with a pain so hard he doesn’t know how if he’ll be able to breathe freely again.

He cries for a while, turning into a ball as he burrows his small frame against the cushion of the small sofa. It was a soft kick from his stomach that clears him from his despair, reminding him of one more wonderful thing in his life—the new reason for him to push through and endure the pain of being alone. Mark stares at the sun rays rising up from afar, painting his son's room in gold, pink and orange, letting him know there's always a way he could begin again.

“You and I will make our own lives, _Yugyeom_ ,” he promises softly through the dark. “We’ll both be so happy. Just you wait and see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart is so heavy. I hated this part of the story so much. Will these couple ever have a permanent happy moment? No one knows. Hahaha!
> 
> I hope you guys are still enjoying this. We're on to the last chapter. Let's hope the best for these two.
> 
> Thank you everyone.
> 
> See you soon!
> 
> Xoxo,  
> A


	12. For Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. I know. I am prolonging the agony but I just have to cut the last chapter again. I'm sorry. Hahahaha!

> _“The one I loved without a reason_  
>  _Is disappearing_  
>  _Remembering our memories_  
>  _I’ll cherish them_  
>  _My time with you_  
>  _I realized was a treasure_  
>  _My love, love, you’re leaving me now.”_  
>  -GOT7, To Star

Jaebum had followed through his promise of checking up on Mark by calling Jinyoung and sometimes the staff to remind the omega for his food and vitamins. They hover around Mark as if Jaebum’s there and not a million miles away. Jinyoung would usually visit him everyday, bringing his son, Bambam, with him so Mark would be entertained and forget about his worries. Jackson is surprisingly present at nights as well, making sure to pass by and check on Mark, telling him to lock all the doors and securing that the staff are reminded as well.

However, that’s the only promise his husband kept. The calls he made towards Mark, even frequent are terse and short, filled with his husband’s cold voice that would only ask about him and the baby. The average call would only last three minutes as Jaebum would usually cut it short and hang up immediately, leaving Mark feeling like the alpha’s doing it more out of obligation and not because he really wanted to do it.

Mark tried calling his home phone at least twice, missing Jaebum’s voice so much he’s almost aching to hear it, but the cold voices of the females on the other line said Jaebum’s busy and that he couldn’t come to the phone. Mark feeling helpless, had no choice but to take them after their word.

Having no idea how the alpha’s doing, Mark heavily relied on the news instead, checking online and televised updates of what’s happening to his husband and finally being informed that he has inherited his father’s huge entertainment empire, making him now one of the richest man in his country.

Jaebum kept his father’s funeral private, keeping the media out and only letting the closest to their family in. However, some paparazzi managed to capture photos of them, specifically Jaebum while he was standing in front of his father’s photo, face full of anguish as _Irene_ , the lovable and supportive friend of his, was hugging his side, giving him the comfort of a spouse.

A lot of cynical articles were written from the photo, mostly attacking Jaebum’s cold husband who’s absent on his father-in-law’s funeral, letting his husband come alone during his ordeal. None of the articles were written about Mark’s difficult and sensitive pregnancy that made it impossible for him to fly towards South Korea. None of the articles mentioned how Mark tries to call his husband to always remind him to eat on time as well. None of the articles mentioned how much he loves him but couldn’t be loved back.

Some local news portals tried to contact him for his side of the story, but Mark being a more private person than Jaebum chooses to stay silent, earning him the perception that he really is unfeeling and cold. He lets the media continue with their ruthless judgment against him, veering away from the news completely, losing that one and only way he could feel close to his husband.

It has been three weeks since Jaebum left and Mark is silently looking outside his window, zoning out at most times when he’s thinking about him and the implications of his actions now that he’s away. Mark’s thoughts must have been agitating his son, as the baby in his stomach moves restlessly, kicking him just below his ribs, making him wince. Mark soothes him by rubbing his mound and breathing deeply, communicating with Yugyeom that everything’s alright.

Mark shuts his eyes in frustration, feeling the burden of his predicament everyday but having no chance to feel sad or stressed as his baby’s safety could be compromised.

“Hyung?” Jinyoung calls behind him, surprising Mark from the break his deep voice did to the silence of the room. The omega turns around towards the doorway, seeing both Jinyoung and his cousin looking very grim as they walk towards him.

“Hey, what are you both doing here? Shouldn’t you be at the café?” he asks, confused as to why they are at his house in the middle of the day. Quite irked that Bambam is also not with them. They never leave their son alone with his nanny before.

“Uhm… hyung…” Jinyoung stammers, biting his lips in contemplation as his husband breathes heavily beside him. Mark finally realizing that’s something’s amiss, raises his eyebrows and gazes at both men.  
“What’s wrong?”

“Hyung, we need to get you out of here,” Jinyoung replies, confusing him even more when he wraps himself around him.

“Huh? But why?” Mark asks, stepping out of Jinyoung’s embrace.

“We’ll explain to you once we’re out of here—”

“No,” the older omega stubbornly argues, planting himself where he stands while the two men fluster around him. “You have to tell me first. Was it Jaebum? Was he hurt?”

“He will be the moment I see his stupid face!” Jackson grits out, lips pursed in a thin line and jaw clenched tightly like he’s about to snap.

“Jackson! Not now,” Jinyoung admonishes, giving his husband a pointed glare. “Let’s get Mark-hyung out of here first.”

“What is going on? Why do I have to leave my house?” the older omega asks again.

“Mark, listen to us first. Let’s leave before the vultures get here,” his cousin pleads, hand grabbing Mark’s, which the latter shrugs off.

“You have to tell me now. _Jaier_! I am not leaving my house until you tell me,” he yells, using the alpha’s Chinese name to prove that he’s serious.

“Mark…”

“Tell me!”

“Hyung…”

“I said, tell me!”

“Fine! A story about Jaebum divorcing you has dropped in South Korea,” his cousin yells in frustration, having no choice left but to tell him about it. “A source that’s close to the family told a news portal that Jaebum was blackmailed into marrying you because of your fathers' dispute over a land in Korea and now that the Senior Im’s dead, no one’s tying him from you and Uncle Richard. Jaebum’s basically a free man.”

Mark’s heart plummets, gasping for air as he tries to process his cousin’s words.

Jaebum is divorcing him. The reason they were married is no longer here. He can go back to his real life now.

_It must have been why he’s distancing himself from me, ignoring me all of a sudden because he’s planning on leaving. Why didn’t I think of that possibility? Naturally that is what Jaebum will do. But_ …

_Yugyeom_. Mark automatically thinks, holding his stomach protectively in the reminder of his son being abandoned, suddenly realizing that they are no longer needed for Jaebum’s freedom, because he’s free to do what he want even before their son’s born.

_They are now here, the end is finally here._

“He…” Mark breathes, tears welling his eyes. “He’s going to divorce me?”

“Jackson! Look what you’ve done! I told you to keep quiet for a while. He’s not supposed to be stressed. That’s the reason we’re even trying to keep him away from the media in the first place. You’re unbelievable,” Jinyoung scolds his husband, nudging him lightly so he could wrap Mark in his arms once again. “Come on, hyung. We’ll get you a change of clothes and you’ll stay with us for now, okay?”

Jinyoung, despite asking Mark, didn’t wait for the older omega to answer. He just dragged him slowly towards their car, spending less than ten minutes to get all the things his best friend would need before he hops inside the vehicle as well, putting Mark in between his arms so the latter could cry. Jackson on the other hand talked to the staff, reminding them to look after the huge mansion of a house for a while and never talk to the media about Mark or Jaebum.

It was a blessing in disguise that Jinyoung and Jackson were unknown to most people, as the older omega never talks to the media about his private life, only letting them take photos of him and a few editorials. Now he’s reaping the benefits by hiding away from the world through his cousin’s small house, using Bambam’s nursery as his refuge.

Mark completely shuts down, keeping his sobs locked away in his chest so his baby wouldn’t feel his pain, choosing to take a nap so whatever worries there are in his mind can be stowed away for a while. It required him about a hundred deep breaths and an hour long of pep talk before he finally doze into a restless sleep, seeing the expanse of Jaebum’s wide back slowly walking away from him before everything turns to black.

~

> _“Nothing lasts forever_  
>  _Nothing lasts forever_  
>  _Everything will disappear some day_  
>  _As if it was never there_  
>  _But I’m here to remember_  
>  _You’ll always be remembered_  
>  _I’ll remember you and me and this winter.”_  
>  -HA:TFELT, Nothing Lasts Forever

It was around late afternoon when a ruckus downstairs caused him to stir from his nap, hearing the unmistakable voice of his husband bellowing in that deep thundering voice of his.

“I need to see him!”

“Get out of my house! You have no right to be here, Im!” he could hear Jackson yelling back, the sound of crashing things followed by his statement.

Mark tries to get up from the small bed as fast as he could, padding his way towards the door until he could peek at the hallway and onto the foyer.

“You can’t keep me away from my family like this. I have the right to see him,” Jaebum grits out, trying to walk away from Jackson’s tight hold on his collar.

“ _Family_? If Mark’s your family, you wouldn’t hurt him like this. My cousin didn’t deserve having a dysfunctional father but he still loved him with all of his heart, hoping to all that is holy that he’ll love him back. Did you know what he told me when he met you, you asshole?” Jackson seethes, pushing Jaebum by the chest while the latter stayed tight-lipped, controlling his own temper by gritting his teeth. “He told me, ‘Jacks, everything will change now. That guy made me feel in love.’ What a joke! My cousin should have married Nichkhun because at least that guy loved him even just as a friend. When he met you all the light in his eyes vanished because you suck it all out! You made him into a shell of who he used to be!”

“It was a mistake that I admit was all mine,” Jaebum breathes, looking helpless when Jackson tightens his hold on him. “And I have no words to explain how sorry I am for doing that to him. But I am making things right this time—”

“Making things right by leaving Mark alone with the baby? Then right after you will go over that woman of yours back home? Well, damn right, Jaebum. You are doing things right this time. Leave my cousin alone for good!”

“I have no plans of leaving Mark because he’s my family. I want him and I want our baby; I want to be with them both!” Jaebum insists, shrugging Jackson’s hand that is clutching his already crumpled hoodie, eyes ablaze with renewed vigor.

“Hyung, I think it’s best that you leave for now. Mark has been in a lot of stress lately and it wouldn’t be good for him and the baby to see this,” Jinyoung reasons out, tugging Jackson away from the other alpha at the same time. “ _Sseun_ -ah, stop this. Mark-hyung wouldn’t be happy that you’re hurting each other. Jaebum is still his husband.”

“No, Jinyoungie. He was never my cousin’s husband! All he did is to treat Mark like he’s dirt, publicly cheating on him from day one and now Mark’s being humiliated again when this asshole announced that he will be filing for a divorce!” Jackson argues, raising his fist to aim another swing at the older alpha.

It was then that Mark decides to step in, walking towards Jackson and grabbing his arm before it connects to his husband’s already beaten up face.  
“Stop that, Jacks. I got this.” he admonishes, voice solid with conviction. His cousin purses his lips in anger, staring at Mark’s steely gaze until he finally lets go and breathes in defeat. He hesitantly walks over Jinyoung at the side.

Mark momentarily glances at Jaebum’s face by then, noting his swollen lip and broken nose, making him look like a classic bad boy. There was also a blooming bruise on his left cheek and a gash on his chin—all of which are probably Jackson’s doing. Mark frowns at his state, puzzled as to why his cousin looks perfectly fine while Jaebum on the other hand, already looked like he went from hell and back.

He tries hard to think about why his husband would deliberately lose this fight and could only think about Jaebum’s tendency to take responsibilities rather seriously. Maybe the guilt of how he treated Mark for the last two years eats at him, and right now he’s making amends by taking all of his cousin’s punches. Maybe it’s the same reason he’s willing to stay, the obligation that he must remain with his husband and child too compelling that once again, he’s willing to sacrifice his happiness for familial duties.

But Mark is done with that. He has decided that he’s worth to be more than an obligation. He’s worth to be loved.

“Mark, baby,” his husband suddenly breathes after seeing him, eyes frantic as he moves closer to his side. “Let’s talk please. You need to hear me out.”

“No, Jaebum.” Mark shakes his head, avoiding his husband’s eyes that holds an emotion he cannot read. “Save whatever it is you want to say, I don’t want to hear it.”

“Mark, I did not file for a divorce. I don’t have plans on leaving you. I want to be with you. I want to be with Yugyeom—”

“Stop it, please,” he cuts off, voice void of any emotion as he grabs on his husband’s arm, turning him towards the door so he could walk him out. “Let’s just end this, Jaebum. If you do not want to file for a divorce then I would do it for the both of us. I know that the only reason you’re willing to stay with me is because of your obligation with me and the baby. I don’t know if it’s a promise you made with your dad or not but free yourself from that, Jaebum. I am letting you go.”

“No! No! Mark, please! You don’t understand. That’s not it!” Jaebum yells out, arms escaping from Mark’s hold so he could wrap them around the omega, making Mark’s heart plummet at the bottom of his stomach. Even with all of these things happening, Jaebum’s warm embrace can still make everything around him turn upside down. Mark internally berates himself, hating that he still lets his husband affect him deeply like this.

“Let me go,” he mutters, pushing the alpha away but to no avail. “It’s getting too tiring and I’m so, so, so tired of everything. Of crying. Of thinking what is wrong with me that the people I care for leave me behind. I’m tired of hoping for good things and get the opposite. Yugyeom is the only reason I’m still enduring this, Jaebum. Just leave me with my son, we can handle our own lives from here on. You don’t need to support us as well, I got everything for him. I can raise him by myself.”

Jaebum tightens his hold on him as he shakes his head fervently. “I won’t…”

“ _Just be happy this time,_ ” Mark whispers, voice finally cracking and crumbling from the fake bravado he’s been trying to emit in front of his husband. The words he’s saying so painful, he feels like passing out.

There is a moment of silence after that, Mark still trying to disentangle his husband away from him and Jaebum holding tighter like Mark’s a life rafter and he’s a drowning man. Feeling like the alpha needs a harder push, Mark swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Go to Bae Joo-hyun. Go to the one you love.”

“I won’t go to her because I don’t love her!” the alpha says exasperatedly. “Maybe for a while I kept believing I did because I was infatuated with her for most of my teenage life. In fact, I may have tried pushing my feelings for her because I don’t want to look at you,” Jaebum finally lets Mark go, but only so he could gaze into his eyes, showing how serious he is. “But I immediately realized that she’s not the one for me, Mark. Why can’t you just let that go?”

Mark feels his suppressed anger surging out of his body, coiling around his limbs like poison, giving him the strength to finally push his husband away. “How can I let it go when every time I would look into the internet, all I see are pictures of you with her? The media even thought the two of you look great together; saying you should have married her instead of me because she’s perfect and I’m just… _nothing_ …” Mark lets out a shaky breath, shutting his eyes in pain. “I believed you when you said you have never slept with anyone while we’re married. But Joo-hyun is different, I can see it with the way you look at her… _because that’s how I used to look at you_.”

Jaebum looks at him incredulously, cupping his cheeks so their gazes would meet once more. “You’re wrong. Have you noticed how I was looking at you? Have you really looked into me? Have you really tried looking towards me, Mark?” Jaebum stares deeply into his eyes, drowning Mark from the depthless black pools that has captured his heart two years ago. He wonders why it looks different now, why there’s a certain softness that wasn’t there before.

“I don’t desire Joo-hyun,” his husband begins to say, rubbing softly at his cheekbones which almost had him leaning towards the alpha’s touch. “I don’t want her and I most certainly don’t love her. Those feelings are reserved only for you, Mark. Because I love… I love… _I love you_.” The last line he says breathlessly, like it took him a while to finally realize it.

Mark stares at him wide eyed, too consumed by what his husband just said. He doesn’t know if he believes Jaebum because that would mean being vulnerable to pain again. And he’s not sure if he can do it once more. One can only take too much hurt in his life and Mark’s so done with it.

He would have tried to analyze more of his husband’s words but his thoughts are suddenly interrupted by the excruciating pain which starts to pull deep within his stomach, making him keel from where he’s standing, having the three men in the room to surge towards him. It was Jaebum who got to him first, holding his thickened waist to keep him upright.

“Mark, what’s wrong?” he asks, eyes suddenly frantic as the omega bites his lips in pain.

“It’s the baby,” he breathes hoarsely after a while, body quaking in a mixture of pain and fear. “I think the baby’s coming.”

“No, no, no!” Jaebum exclaims, now cupping Mark’s stomach in a protective manner as his own naked horror shows in his eyes. “It can’t be. He can’t be coming yet. He’s almost a month early. Are you sure?”

“I’ve been cramping all day and I thought it’s just stress but I guess I was already having contractions,” the pregnant omega says to no one in particular as he breathes in deep to ease the lingering pain in his abdomen.

“Okay, _love_ ,” Jaebum soothes, the new term of endearment confusing Mark even more as the alpha gathers his trembling body into a hug, overwhelming the latter’s already aggravated mind. “We’ll be okay. You’ll be okay. I will get you to the hospital. Everything will be okay, I promise.”

 

Jaebum drove all four of them to the hospital, with Jackson riding shotgun and the two omegas at the backseat, Jinyoung holding his hyung’s hand as the contractions continued to come with a vengeance.

“Jackson, I want you to come with me inside the delivery room. I need you to be there with me,” Mark grits out after another painful contraction has passed, earning him a shocked look by his husband and best friend. His cousin on the other hand merely turns around towards him to nod his head, but eyes surprisingly unsure.

“Mark… _my love_. I can be there for you. I’ve been your coach, I can help you,” Jaebum says, eyes still on the road but voice shaky like he’ll go out of his wits if he’ll be separated from him.

The omega presses his lips together, brows frowning as he glances away from Jaebum’s contrite face.

“I need someone I trust in there,” Mark says, knowing he hit a solid score because even though his husband didn’t respond to what he said, the telltale clenching of his jaw and white knuckles gripping the steering wheel are enough evidences. 

The rest of the journey going to the hospital went smoothly, Mark going towards the motions when he was immediately admitted to the elite private room Jaebum booked for him months prior. His body got checked by Doctor Stalzer and the old woman confirmed that he is indeed in labor. She assured his husband that it is normal for some pregnant people to go on labor early and that Mark and the baby are safe even with the omega’s sensitive pregnancy. The doctor should also be commended for her patience as Jaebum continued to breathe down her neck with demanding and panicked questions, that even for Mark sounded absurd.

His contractions seemed to leave Jaebum more wrung out than he was, stretching his patience thin as the alpha hovers around the room, fidgeting with everything, as if one more painful grunt coming from Mark and he’ll snap.

“For heaven’s sake, Jaebum, could you stop pacing around the room? You’re making me dizzy,” Mark eventually hisses, getting fed up with his nervous energy. The alpha turns to him, hands about to dial on the intercom for the doctor, probably to ask for Mark’s update once again. “Go get yourself coffee or something. And while you’re at it, call my cousin. I want him here.”

“I won’t leave you. What if you experienced another contraction? What if your water breaks and they rush you towards the delivery room? What if there are complications? I can’t leave you, not right now,” the alpha says hoarsely, eyes frantic with each questions he voiced out which Mark answered with a roll of his eyes.

“I doubt any of those things will happen in the three minutes that you will spend outside of this room to get yourself a cup of coffee.”

“They might,” he insists stubbornly, finally sitting down at the chair beside the omega’s bed.

They were both silent for a few minutes, forcing themselves to keep the calm atmosphere intact when in reality both of them are scared, emotions whirling with worry, for their crumbling relationship that’s only being connected by a very thin thread and their baby that is wreaking havoc on Mark’s stomach.

“Why are you here?” the omega asks tiredly, glancing at Jaebum who’s now biting his fingernails in anxiousness.

“Because this is where I want to be,” he answers promptly.

“Why do you want to be here?”

“You’re my husband, you’re carrying my child.” Jaebum then covers his hands on Mark’s dainty ones, the action giving the latter a sense of déjà vu as their wedding bands clink together, like puzzle pieces meeting perfectly.

Except they are not perfect and Mark is not what the alpha needs.

Mark shuts his eyes to cancel out the pain.

“You don’t belong here. You’re always supposed to leave. You have a family waiting for you back home. A woman who’s perfect for you. You don’t have to be here,” he shakes his head for emphasis, tears seeping beneath his eyelids.

“I have this life with you. It’s the only thing that matters to me,” the alpha insists, holding on to Mark’s hand tighter. “I have a husband, who loved me once… who maybe… someday would dare to love and trust me again with his heart. I know I will never belong to your side because I don’t deserve you. But I want to be here.”

The latter shakes his head again, opening his wet eyes that is now glaring at his husband.

“You have hurt me so much, Jaebum. More than two years of pain. I can’t go back to being that naïve man who offered everything to you and left nothing for himself.”

“I have changed. My feelings have changed, Mark. I know I don’t deserve another chance but I am willing to offer the rest of my lifetime to prove to you that _I love you_.”

Mark smiles sadly at that, looking regretful. “Saying it now won’t change my mind, Jaebum. A simple I love you won’t fix us because there is no fixing this. You have hurt me so much for the past two years and I can’t go back to that. I can’t go back with you.”

“I… I understand,” Jaebum smiles bitterly, kissing the back of Mark’s hand lovingly as they lapse to another hour of silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there. The baby's coming and their relationship is crumbling. I'm stressed af. HAHAHAHA! I will post the next chapter in a few minutes.
> 
> See you soon!
> 
> Xoxo,  
> A


	13. Interlude

 

“ _Distance may make the heart grow fonder_  
_But I'm just trying to keep you longer_  
_Even if I'm not sure it'll make us stronger._

_Cause if I just let you go_  
_Without ever letting you know_  
_It would be hard to keep moving_  
_With all the loose ends we've left unsown_  
_Should I try to let you know_  
_How it kills me that you let me go_  
_Baby, it's hard to keep waiting_  
_With all the feelings we've left unknown.”_  
-Moira  & Nieman, Planes

Jaebum feeling suffocated inside the rather spacious room, hesitantly steps outside for a while, giving Mark his space as the omega looked on the edge every time he’ll look at him. He sits on the bench lining the hall, staring at nothing in particular while he lets his mind replay the recent events that happened.

Jaebum’s hurting all over, not physically like the omega in the room is feeling, but he’s hurting inside; his pain coming from the realization that their marriage is unsalvageable and that there’s no way Mark will ever forgive him or at least give him a chance.

The tables have turned—Mark would never love him back.

Jaebum puts his face on his hands, exhaustion of weeks of running around for business meetings and appeasing his family finally catching up to him, making him want to just crawl towards Mark’s embrace, missing how his husband would pet his head while whispering sweet nothings to their baby in that melodic voice of his. He rubs his face in frustration, blaming himself for all of the things happening to Mark and their baby, and why the media’s dishing their story out in public, causing mayhem not only in the US but also in South Korea.

He falls into an unidentifiable silence until he feels a presence of someone beside him, surprising him when a cold compress was shoved against the side of his face.

“Put this on to turn down the swelling,” the voice said, gruff and disinterested.

It was Jackson, eyes averted from him, looking like he wants to be someplace else and not beside him.

Jaebum, even though a little bit confused, takes the bag of ice from the other alpha’s hand and whispered a quiet thank you as he presses it towards his jaw, wincing when he pushes too hard.

“I’m sorry about the…” Jackson motions towards his nose, which by then was already checked by Mark’s doctor. The old woman scolding him again in that motherly voice of hers, reminding him that he needs to get his mind straight since he’ll be a father soon.

Jaebum smiles in silent appreciation, feeling a rather weird lightness in his chest that Mark’s cousin is talking to him, despite the other alpha almost strangling and beating him to a pulp a while ago.

“It’s fine. I’ll live,” is all he says as he trained his eyes back on the white walls of the corridor, basking in the bustle of the hospital while he and Jackson stew in tersed silence.

“Did you really mean it?” the younger alpha asks a moment later, voice soft and unsure, piercing the thick tension that suddenly envelopes them. Jaebum frowns at the question, not really sure what it was he was asking about.

“What about?”

“Did you really want to be with Mark and the baby?” he clarifies, brown eyes innocent and almost puppy like. Jaebum feels his throat choke up with overwhelmed emotions, enabling him to only nod his head fervently as he looks down at his hands, fidgeting the ice bag in obvious anxiety.

_I do. I really do_.

“You’re not planning on divorcing him?” Another nod.

“Do you really love Mark?” Jackson asks again, a certain steeliness lacing his words.

Jaebum turns to look at him straight in the eye, hoping that all of the seriousness he could muster would translate to his dark eyes. “I love Mark so much that I ache knowing it was me who caused all of his pain,” he says hoarsely. “I desperately want to make up for all of my mistakes but every time I would try, another problem would arise and he would continue to slip away from my fingers…” Jaebum trails off, clearing his throat that starts to clog up with unshed tears.

“You don’t deserve him,” Jackson says matter-of-factly, too insensitive for the situation but Jaebum ignored the painful gash it left his heart.

“I know. I know I don’t deserve Mark. But I am still wishing for a miracle that he’ll change his mind and look back at me once again.”

“How sure are you that this time it wouldn’t happen again? My cousin has given you quite a number of chances. Why do you think it’ll be different this time?” Jackson persists, piercing his heart and prodding the wound with emotional pain.

“I can’t promise not to hurt him again. I have my flaws, Jackson. We wouldn’t be in this situation if I don’t,” he whispers as a stray tear fell from his eyes, which he immediately wipes with the back of his sleeve, while he slyly raises his hoodie until his face is obscured by the material. “I can’t change what I did. I can’t erase the pain I have already caused him. I can’t…” a shaky breath breaks out of his lips and Jaebum finally weeps, heart wrenching sobs that he couldn’t shut down anymore. Memories of Mark slowly losing his smile and looking at him with those blank stare flashing in front of his eyes and putting him in grief.

He feels Jackson lean against the wall beside him, waiting for him in silence, letting him have his moment without any judgment or cajoling which he has every right to do in the first place.

“ _I love him_ ,” Jaebum finally croaks after he had finally controlled his breathing to normal. “I wish I could have told him that in a different circumstance. I wish I told him sooner.. but I really do love him and I will do everything to have him back.”

“What if it take you years to get him back?”

“I will wait,” he determinedly replies.

“What if he never forgive you?” Jackson asks again.

“I will still wait.”

“Even if he falls in love with another man?”

That got Jaebum pausing, shutting his eyes in the image of Mark with another man—happy and contented.

_That should have been me_. He thinks as he swallows another lump in his throat.

“I will let him go but I will still wait. I won’t love another.”

Silence.

They fell into another minute of silence as they let their words seep into their skin and run through their veins. Jackson stares at Jaebum with the side of his eye and nods his head in a confirmation only he seemed to know.

“Well… can’t wait to see you try that, because honestly, man, it's about time you grovel," he says suddenly, voice too cheerful as he pats Jaebum's shoulder. "And I think the perfect way to start doing that is by going inside that delivery room with my cousin… he’ll be needing his labor coach later.”

“What?” Jaebum asks shocked and wide eyed, glancing at Jackson’s face and not really sure if he’s understanding the implications of his words clearly.

“What?” the younger man asks back, eyebrows raised in question. “You don’t want to stay with him later? But I thought you said you’ll stay beside him whatever it takes…”

“No… it’s just… are you sure? Are you really letting me be by his side?” the older alpha carefully asks, eyes now meeting Jackson’s mischievous ones.

“I am.”

“But why?”

Jackson shrugs his shoulders, smiling fondly at nothing in particular as he inhales deeply. “My cousin is stubborn. I’m sure you’ve seen how much. He can be annoyingly hardheaded when he's at his peak. When push come to shove, he closes himself in and won’t let anyone see his vulnerability because that’s the only way he knew how to protect himself. He is by no means a weak person, but Mark has a tendency to run and I don’t want him to do that. Not now with the baby on the way.”

The younger alpha starts to stand, hands sliding inside his pockets as he looks down at him. “In my opinion, he really doesn’t need you, Jaebum. Mark is smart, he can handle himself… But, I am also hoping you’d be able to make him happy again. Because as much as I hate to admit this, man… at this point you’re the only one who could.”

“Jacks—”

“Anyway, if my cousin looks for me, tell him I feel queasy with blood and that I can’t be his coach,” Jackson says as he walks away from Jaebum, back already turned away from him as the former swags his way towards the exit.

Jaebum stares at his wide shoulders and back, seeing for the first time how reliable the young man was and earning him the respect the former wouldn’t have thought something he’ll give the other alpha two years ago. Before, he looks at Jackson like he’s a clown—only making jokes about anything and never being serious. Mark would often laugh at his cousin’s expense but would listen to all he says and Jaebum never understood that, how Mark’s always obeying what the young man says when he seemed to be playing all the time.

Now he understood everything.

Jackson is reliable and selfless, merciful but with countable reasons—and Jaebum feels his heart swelling to know the man considered him Mark’s happiness because at this time, that meant a lot.

“Jackson,” Jaebum calls out before he could finally turn around the corridor. Mark’s cousin turns around to face him, eyes clear of any contempt but just hope. “Thank you!” he says, voice reeking with too much sincerity and gratitude.

Mark’s cousin surprises him with a genuine smile as he nods his head and chuckles good heartedly. “Don’t turn sappy on me now, Im Jaebum. This is not for you, this is for my cousin.” Jaebum nods at that.

“Please make this one count. Don’t make me regret this.” And with that he’s gone, finally walking out of his sight until Jaebum’s left alone with his own thoughts.

He determinedly stands after a few minutes, eyes now clearer as hope glimmers from the small gesture Jackson has given him.

_I wouldn’t screw this up_. He tells himself, as he opens the door back to Mark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it people. I will be finishing this story before this week ends. I PROMISE. because June is the start of my nightmare at work and I don't think I will have time to write freely anymore.
> 
> I wouldn't stop thanking you guys for everything. Your words of encouragement make me so so happy I did this. I love you all! *kisseu!
> 
> See you soon!
> 
> Xoxo,  
> A


	14. For Mark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at deadlines.  
> I think we already established that right?  
> Anyway, here we go...

 

> _“Good time for a change_  
>  _See, the luck I've had_  
>  _Can make a good man_  
>  _Turn bad_
> 
> _So please, please, please_  
>  _Let me, let me, let me_  
>  _Let me get what I want_  
>  _This time_  
>  _Haven't had a dream in a long time_
> 
> _See, the life I've had_  
>  _Can make a good man bad_  
>  _So for once in my life_  
>  _Let me get what I want_  
>  _Lord knows, it would be the first time_  
>  _Lord knows, it would be the first time._ ”  
>  -The Smiths, Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want

After a few hours of painful contractions and waiting, Mark’s water finally broke and he was transferred to the delivery room immediately, even causing quite a scene when Jaebum entered instead of his cousin. He wants to be mad at the betrayal but he focused on the more pressing matters at hand, and that is to push his child out of his system. Jaebum, as much as Mark wants to deny, was a great coach, soothing and encouraging him to get through the ever-increasing pain, even holding his hand and kissing his tears. He wouldn’t ever say it but he feels secured knowing the alpha’s beside him, supporting him throughout the pain like a loving husband he’s supposed to be.

Four sweaty and pain-riddled hours later, during which Jaebum supported him like a pro, Mark finally gave one painful push, followed by a distinctive cry of a baby that had him sighing in relief.

There is a rush of activity at the foot of his bed, as all of the people in the room concentrated on his baby. All except Jaebum, who’s still focused on him, his cat-like eyes bright and filled with moisture above the surgical mask, in which he puts off so he could kiss the side of the omega’s forehead.

“You’re so amazing, my _love_. So incredible, you always leave me in awe…”

Mark jerks his head away from his husband’s mouth so he could stare at his eyes, bewildered by the strong emotion he could hear from his voice. But his husband’s no longer staring at him, as he’s now concentrated on the doctor, who’s carrying the squalling bundle of energy in her arms.

“Here’s the little lady who’s causing all of the fuss,” Doctor Stalzer announces jovially, smiling at both of them like a proud parent would. “Congratulations, Jaebum and Mark, you have a beautiful and perfectly healthy baby girl. A _beta_.”

Mark’s breath hitches and he immediately looks over his husband and got even more surprised when instead of seeing disappointment, all he sees is Jaebum tearing up, as he falls head over heels towards the small bundle of femininity placed on Mark’s arms.

The omega feels overwhelmed as he stares down at the tiny infant wailing in his chest, not really sure what to do with this baby girl when it should have been a boy.

_Why is not a boy?_

“She’s beautiful, Mark,” Jaebum croons, eyes still tearing up while he lays his hand on top of the baby’s soft head. “She’s perfect.”

“Yes. She is,” Mark automatically replies, voice void of any emotion as he tries to make sense of his still confused feelings. The strong desire to stand up and leave his husband and child was there in his mind but Mark shakes it and grits his teeth instead. Jaebum looks over at him with wry eyes, puzzled from his reaction, or lack thereof.

“Mark, what’s wrong?” he asks carefully, as he stares at the omega’s pale face.

“Your husband is tired, Jaebum,” Doctor Stalzer interjects, smiling at him assuredly. “Let him take a rest and I’m sure he’ll be all over this little beauty in no time.”

“Yes, I’m just tired,” Mark remotely answers, hand mindlessly stroking the infant’s downy back, never once looking at her or his husband.

~

 

 

> _“Again today,_  
>  _With tearful steps_  
>  _I walk toward you_  
>  _I wait for the day that I will touch your heart_  
>  _For the day you will hold me in your embrace_  
>  _I need you.”_  
>  -TaeTiSeo, Baby Steps

“Hyung, she’s so beautiful. I think she has Jaebum-hyung’s nose, but her lips… this is yours,” Jinyoung gushes, eyes trained on the baby as she peacefully sleeps in the younger omega’s arms. Mark hums as a reply, smiling tiredly as he nods his head in confirmation. The younger omega seems to not notice his lack of enthusiasm, probably cataloguing Mark’s lukewarm mood with exhaustion.

His husband, on the other hand, is leaning on the wall, arms crossed in his chest as he stands silently at the sides. Mark could feel his eyes on him, observing his every move like a hawk waiting for its prey. He chooses to ignore the alpha and averted his eyes away from his side of the room as much as possible.

“So, any baby names for her yet?” the younger omega inquires, smiling excitedly as he looks up at his best friend. Mark was tongue tied, so lost with what to say, so he shrugs his shoulders instead.

“Last time we’ve talked about that,” Jaebum starts to say, finally speaking up from his corner. “Mark’s keen on the names Lorenzo, Rafael and Yugyeom.”

“Only boys’ names?” Jinyoung asks in confusion.

“Yes, did you forget that your best friend’s so obsessed with having a son?” Jaebum prods. “What a pity that he did not get what he want again this time.” he presses further, even though Mark starts to tear up. “He’s so torn up with his inability to do anything right that he didn’t even bother to look at our daughter, hold her or even feed her. Why settle for a mere girl when it wouldn’t free him from me, right? Or finally get the approval of his father?”

“Mark-hyung?” Jinyoung prompts softly, soothing his friend’s leg when he starts to cry, tears spilling from his pale cheeks.

Jaebum smothers a curse and walks over Mark’s side, enveloping him in an embrace as he strokes his back.

“Do you hate our baby?” the alpha asks a beat later, choking Mark in pain as he shakes his head fervently.

“No. I love her so much it hurts…” he lets out a quivering breath. “It’s just that she’s not what I was expecting. I had everything planned in my head and now that she’s here, I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like such a failure.”

“Oh, baby… just let it all go,” Jaebum groans. “Let yourself love her. Allow yourself to be happy.”

“But how about, you? I promised you freedom but…”

“Shh… stop it. I told you before that I don’t want to be apart from you but it’s you who kept on pushing me away. How many times do I have to tell you that I no longer want out of this marriage? And honestly, if you give me daughters for the next years ahead, I will even consider myself blessed.”

Mark burst into tears at that, holding on to Jaebum’s neck as he feels exhaustion coming up to him. He wants to believe in his husband, yearns to shed off his inhibitions and listen to what he’s saying. However, years of disappointment and doubts had him closing his mouth in fear while he continued to weep in Jaebum’s chest.

 

Mark woke up a few hours after his mini meltdown, instantly registering the angry voices arguing not too far from his bed. He opens his eyes and immediately sees Jaebum’s wide back, obscuring a figure at the doorway, which Mark immediately recognized as his father; he won’t mistake his silver hair and stocky figure with anyone else.

“I won’t let you get anywhere near my husband,” Jaebum grits out, body tensed with heightened energy as his arm blocks the doorway.

“He’s my son and I have the right to see him whenever I want to!” the old man bellows, proving that he is Mark’s father, with his snobbish tone and voice that demands attention.

“So that you can damage him more than he already is?” Jaebum angrily asks, body shaking in rage. “No! I won’t let you get close to him like that again. And forget about that grandson you want so bad, I won’t let you get your paws on any of my family.”

“Then stay married to my son then or give up the farm.”

“That farm doesn’t mean anything to me but just a piece of land my father wanted to have so bad. You can have it back, I don’t care. But I want you out of Mark’s life or any of our children’s lives!”

“ _Dad_ ,” Mark whispers timidly, watching the two men’s attention get caught by his voice as they simultaneously turn towards him. “Jaebum, it’s okay. You can let him in. I want to talk to him.”

“But _love_ …” his husband protests.

“It’s alright. Let him in, please,” Mark says, voice firm that had Jaebum stepping out of his father’s way so the old man, who the omega yearns for love and attention for years, could stand at foot of his bed to see him.

“Mark, darling…” Richard greets sweetly, eyes glancing all over his body in obvious distaste. “You look tired and pale as a ghost. I hope you don’t have plans on letting the media see you like that, no?” his father says in that cold and distant voice he always used to speak him with.

That got Mark swallowing to clear up his dry throat, eyes narrowing from offense.

“Have you seen my daughter yet?” he asks, voice surprisingly bold and sure which earns him a puzzled look from his father.

“Not yet. Do I have to?” he has the audacity to ask, making Mark scowl in disapproval as he feels a sense of overprotectiveness for his little girl.

“I don’t know, daddy. What do you think? She’s your granddaughter. She has your blood so I think she deserves your concern,” Mark seethes in uncontrolled anger. The longer he thought about his father’s disinterest in everything about him, except bearing an alpha, made him want to go on a rampage. “If you won’t acknowledge her, love and protect her the same way you did to me then please consider me no longer your son. I don’t need that kind of life for my daughter. My baby deserves more than that.”

As if on cue, the nurse knocks on the door to bring in the fretting yellow bundle of infant in the room, pausing a bit at the doorway when she sensed the tension in the room.

“It’s alright, please bring my baby to me,” Mark prods, setting the nervous nurse in motion towards him until she places the baby in his arms. “Hi there, sweetheart,” he croons the moment he gazes at her tiny face, seeing for the first time how beautiful his baby is. Mark realized the stark difference of his perspective when he accepted the baby for who she is and not for who she has to be. He felt a sense of peace knowing that he was quickly pulled back by Jaebum before he starts to treat his little girl like how his father treated him.

Mark glances appreciatively at the alpha before kissing his little girl’s forehead lovingly.

The nurse gives him a quick crash course on how to feed his baby, making him blush when she pulls down his hospital gown to press the infant close to his naked chest, whilst holding the bottle so the baby could suck on it.

“Keeping her close to your chest will give her the sense of security and warmth. It’ll also bond the two of you together so you should always remember to do that when feeding her.”

Mark nods shyly at the nurse before she excuses herself and left the room to leave them in privacy.

He then looks down at his baby, seeing her cheek mushed together with his chest as she suckles healthily on her milk bottle.

“You’re so beautiful,” he mutters lovingly, feeling Jaebum’s presence beside him as they both watch their little girl in awe.

A few seconds passed where all that could be heard in the room is the baby’s adorable sucking and gulps, leaving Mark’s father standing awkwardly on the sides.

The omega glances at him before saying, “Daddy, I have already given you my conditions. You can either go or you stay. If you won’t be able to love my daughter unconditionally and wholeheartedly, then consider me dead—we’re no longer related.”

“You think you’re so brave now, huh?” his father sneers, showing the ugly side of him which the omega loathes so much.

_He’s so used to taunting me. But not this time. I won’t let him hurt my baby._

“I am braver than you think, dad,” Mark smiles wryly. “Years of rejection and pain could do that to you. At least even though I got hurt, I learned to love. But you…” he lets his words trail off, leaving his implications for his father to think about in his own head.

“You think having your husband’s support is enough? He doesn’t love you. He loves Bae Joo-hyun. Be careful of trusting him too much or you’ll end up having no one left because he could take your baby away from you and marry the woman of his dreams,” Mark blinks his eyes in fear, not really thinking of those possibilities before his father presented it to him. He couldn’t help but to turn towards Jaebum and see his body coiled with tension, eyes ablaze with barely concealed fury.

“I think it’s time you leave now, dad,” he says painfully, shutting his eyes in grief when the old man sneers for the last time before storming out of his room.

There was a tensed silence for a while before Jaebum tilts his chin so he could look into his eyes.

“Don’t you dare believe a word he says, Mark. Don’t do this.”

“Would you take her away from me?” the omega asks, tremor evident in his voice as their eyes met.

“No! I would never do that to you.”

“But you want her,” Mark starts, making Jaebum frown in frustration.

“Yes, but it’s a package deal for me. I want both of you—you’re my family. I want our life together, the one we’ve slowly built for the last few months.”

Mark looks at him in bewilderment. “What do you mean? All we’ve talked about for the last few months was divorcing…”

“I am talking about our nights together, the movies, the conversations, the cuddling before going to bed. We both know we’re good in bed, Mark. But those few months proved that we could also have what your cousin and best friend have. We may have been doing things backward but it doesn’t mean we couldn’t try. You’re the only one who ever really talked about divorce. I don’t want to be apart from you. I want us to be together,” Jaebum says with utmost sincerity, face contrite as he caresses their baby’s face.

“I think…” Mark whispers softly, so soft that Jaebum had to lean in closer to listen to what he’s saying. “I think you’re a very responsible person, Jaebum and this life you wanted to have with me and the baby is just one of your familial duties you can’t let go. I hate the fact that I always hinder you from having the things you want in life. You also deserve to be happy, especially after what happened with your dad.”

“Oh god. This again,” Jaebum mutters impatiently, pressing his forehead lightly against his, holding Mark’s shoulders while carefully keeping distance as not to squish the infant between their chests. “Please listen to me, Mark Tuan-Im. I am not doing this for responsibility’s sake. Believe me when I say that I am doing this out of sheer selfishness. I have responsibilities back in South Korea, the business that my _appa_ left me, my family that depends on me but I don’t give a damn about them right now because you are important—the only important thing to me, you and the baby. I want you all for myself,” his voice begins to quiver a bit, so he pauses and lets out a shaky breath, biting his lips in trepidation before glancing back at Mark’s blank eyes.

“Mark… I know I don’t deserve you but I am hoping you will try this with me again. Please give me a chance… I will make up for everything. Please?”

The omega stares at him with uncertainty, mind whirling with overwhelming emotions because of Jaebum’s words he said with utmost sincerity. The alpha looks like a helpless man perched on a ledger, falling slowly and Mark’s his only redemption.

The omega feels his heart clench painfully at the sight.

 _Will this be worth it?_ Mark asks himself as he looks down at his baby girl, now done with her milk and is sleeping peacefully in his arms. The life the baby could have without another father flashes in his eyes, a life where she will persistently ask the whys and the why nots—and Mark didn’t know if he’s willing to deal with that, if he’s willing to subject her in a life of single-parenthood... when an opportunity for the little girl to grow up with a complete family is possible.

Will he believe on Jaebum again and this time even let him affect another life? In reality, he also has legal rights for the baby. If he really changed his mind and wanted to be part of the baby’s life, who is Mark to hinder that?

But is he really ready to prolong this loveless partnership with Jaebum?

Mark looks at the alpha again, metaphorically seeing himself stepping hesitantly on the ledge with him, taking time until he finally takes hold of his hand tightly, eyes shut as they balance precariously at the ledge together.

 _For my baby_. He thinks as he lets out a deep breath, hoping that having this new start with Jaebum and the baby will all be worth it.

“We should name this little one before we go _home_ ,” Mark mumbles, ignoring the way Jaebum released his breath in relief, worry and tension draining out of his system until the omega could now see his bright smile.  
“Oh, Mark…” the alpha breathes out, kissing the top of the omega’s head as the former shuts his eyes in solace.

“Any ideas?” Mark smiles, blushing furiously at the sudden softness his husband has shown.

Jaebum chuckles in obvious appreciation, staring at Mark for a while and then his daughter before he finally speaks. “Well, since she has black hair and your smile, I think Saera will be great for her.”

“ _Saera_ … I like it. Let’s just hope she wouldn’t have the temperament of a Kylie though,” Mark jokes lightly, making Jaebum laugh boyishly, his melodic honey voice pulling all the strings at his heart like it did the first night they met.

“If she takes after you, we’re sure in for a bumpy ride,” the alpha teases and the omega rolls his eyes at that.

“Oh, come on. You’re no angel yourself,” he retorts but without heat. “Let’s just name her Saera and hope for the best.”

“Well, if she becomes a Kylie, it would surely make my life interesting.” Jaebum kneels unceremoniously on the floor to face his child, rubbing her blushing cheeks with his thumb. “I guess that will make me adore her more.”

“Jaebum?” Mark asks a few minutes later, voice reeking with curiosity.

“Hmm?”

“Why did you keep buying clothes and toys for a girl?” Jaebum stops from his stroking for a millisecond, seemingly contemplating before continuing on. “I mean, I appreciate them now but why were you buying things for a girl?”

“Why?” he hesitantly repeats, looking up at Mark after a moment later. “I was just wishing for a girl.”

Mark stares at him in renewed eyes, seeing a new side of his husband he haven’t really tapped into. He haven’t really seen the possibility of his husband wanting a baby girl when since their first night together, all he was asking for is a son.

“You were wishing for a girl?”

“Yes, very much,” Jaebum answers cryptically, eyes still trained on the sleeping baby.

“Why?” Mark curiously asks, sensing the alpha closing up when he merely shrugs his shoulders and chooses to remain silent. “Jaebum-ah?” Mark prompts, using the nickname again, fingers now running along the soft strands of the raven haired man kneeling on the side of his bed. Jaebum leans towards his touch, eyes fluttering shut in a mixture of relief and pain.

“This is neither the time and place for me to tell you. We will discuss it soon. I promise. For now let’s just stay like this. Okay?” he mumbles, purring when the omega starts to lightly scratch the nape of his neck.

In that one glorious moment of solidarity, Mark lets himself believe in happily ever after again. The image of white picket fences and afternoon picnic parties with his little girl isn’t too impossible anymore.

~

 

> “ _For worse or for better_  
>  _Just stay with me forever_.”  
>  -Taeyang feat. G.D., Stay With Me

Mark woke up and headed down the kitchen for breakfast, feet gravitating towards his husband and daughter, both lounging at the kitchen nook. Saera is already dressed, this time in a Snorlax onesee her Uncle Jackson has gifted her the other day. She’s asleep on her baby carrier beside Jaebum, who by then is reading his newspaper, a coffee and heaps of pancakes on his plate. Mark couldn’t help but smile at the picture they make.

“Good morning,” he greets cheerfully, entering the room with his bright smile still plastered on his face. He kisses the baby’s cheek lovingly, and then after the briefest of hesitations leaves a soft kiss on his husband’s cheek as well.

While Jaebum has become more affectionate towards him these days, like dropping kisses on the omega here and there, Mark couldn’t help but stay reserve around him, leaving the alpha at arms length while they tiptoe around each other in this life they are trying to build together. Mark is not sure how far he could go into touching Jaebum, getting too used to the fact of his husband being untouchable for two years that now that it no longer applies, he was left rather bereft. He knows he was being irrational, overthinking too much but he couldn’t help but hide away under his emotional barriers.

A press conference was held a few days after Mark was released from the hospital. His husband grim and serious as he tells the media how he won’t let the people who slandered his omega in public be left alone without being punished. He filed lawsuits after lawsuits to various news networks and websites, even suing a family friend who leaked the divorce story in public, making sure no one would ever hurt his husband that way again. Also making sure that everyone from L.A. and South Korea knows that he is utterly smitten and in love with Mark and their newly born daughter Saera.

It was almost a month since Mark has given birth to their baby girl, and it has also been twenty-seven days and Jaebum has never failed to tell him how he much he loves him everyday, making sure to back it up with his actions as well. However, the latter couldn’t let himself fully believe the alpha, still skeptical about his intentions, of his actual reason why he acts that way. He still has moments wherein he thinks that the alpha’s just doing all of these because he knows it’s what Mark has always wanted to see or hear. The surreal situation too peaceful and perfect, he still couldn’t quite believe it for what it is.

“Good morning, _love_ ,” Jaebum greets back, folding his newspaper and setting it aside, giving Mark his full attention as the omega sits opposite him, taking a bite from the alpha’s plate of pancakes that looks like it was prepared especially for him. Jaebum’s also doing it often now, disregarding everything else when Mark enters the room or when he’s within his line of sight. Phone calls are ignored, laptops and newspapers set aside, over time at work disregarded just so he could concentrate on Mark and everything the omega has to say.

Still… Mark couldn’t completely step out off that ledge with him, hold him so they could finally fall down together. He knows he’s starting to frustrate Jaebum, heck he’s even frustrating himself but Mark needs something from the alpha and unfortunately… he doesn’t know what.

“What are you doing for today?” Jaebum asks, interrupting Mark’s thoughts and making him glance across him again.

“Jinyoung and I will have lunch together. And then after that we will go at the Contemporary Museum downtown, he got us tickets,” Mark says casually, not really sure if he should tell Jaebum that it’s also his birthday gift from his best friend. But he chooses to bite his tongue, afraid that it will only make Jaebum feel bad that he still doesn’t know his birthday.

“Want me to take Saera to the office so you could enjoy your free time alone?” the alpha suggest, the idea making his eyes glimmer in excitement. Mark narrows his eyes teasingly at him.

“Why do I feel like you’re only suggesting that because you want to show her around and not entirely to give me a day off?”

Jaebum smiles candidly at him, chuckling as he hugs the baby tenderly, who by then latches her tiny hands on his hair. “Can I have her today, please? I keep missing her when I’m at the office, you know?”

“I know. But she still gets cranky when she’s not with me. She will only cry endlessly if I leave her with you,” Mark says sadly, seeing Jaebum sigh in defeat as he smothers kisses on the baby’s foot.

“Okay. I will see her in the afternoon then,” the alpha mutters, now playing peek-a-boo with the baby that got Saera staring up at him with her round brown eyes.

“Jaebum… how did the media knew about your arrangement with my dad?” the omega finds himself asking, the question throwing his husband off as he turns towards him, gauging his mood.

He takes a deep sigh first before speaking, rocking Saera lightly when the baby starts to whine. “My cousin, Nayeon has friends from the entertainment industry. Unfortunately she made some indiscreet conversations with them about our family. When appa passed away, the media was all over our family— releasing our value in the market and how much we’re suddenly worth. This one friend of hers saw a golden opportunity to earn money and exposed all of our secrets to the press. Our marriage isn’t the only one being dragged in public; my youngest cousin Dahyun’s bulimia and Jeongyeon’s cheating fiancé also hit the news, making everyone have a field day with our family issues.” Jaebum shakes his head in anger, controlling his temper so the baby in his arms won’t be spooked out. “I immediately tried hard to make damage control; I was in the middle of fixing Dahyun’s issue when the news of me divorcing you was made into public. I wasn’t even aware of it, until eomma brought it into my attention. The moment I heard it, I dropped everything, booked a flight and drove straight here. I couldn’t take the idea that you’ll think it was true that I will leave you.”

“What happened to the friend?” Mark asks, ignoring the way his chest makes a happy gallop in his chest.

“She sold our story and hoped to make it into money. She no longer belong to any of our circles, she’s banished for life, especially now that there is a lawsuit against her for fabricating a story of me filing for a divorce when I have no plans of doing that. Even those news portal who released the story in paper and online are now sued for libel,” Jaebum gazes at him firmly, eyes glinting with determination. “I promised you before that I will make things better this time. And that is what I will do.”

Mark stares at his eyes, feeling a sense of security with his words but not fully understanding his husband yet, still enveloped with skepticism that had him wanting to turn away instead of run towards him. Mark knows he also needs to ask Jaebum about Joo-hyun and about his distant attitude when he left but he’s still scared of what he’ll find out.

 _You’re such a coward._ He tells himself, eyes trained on his husband’s fond expression while he metaphorically tries not to fall, hands still holding on to the railing, keeping his balance on the ledge he and his husband are currently on.

 

“So, how are you and Jaebum-hyung?” the younger omega asks, wiping his son’s drooling mouth with a table napkin, rolling his eyes when Bambam giggles for no reason at all. Sensing Mark’s discomfort, Jinyoung turns to look at him, eyes analyzing. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Mark says, shaking his head at the same time. “It’s just… I couldn’t understand myself anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“Jaebum said he loves me. He used to tell that to me everyday. Not just by words but through his actions as well but…” the older omega lets his words trail off, glancing at his daughter sleeping peacefully in her carrier, her small mouth pouting adorably.

“But?” Jinyoung prompts, pushing him into the motions.

“But I couldn’t make myself believe him. Was it wrong for me to feel that way? Is there something wrong with me?”

“Of course not. It’s understandable, hyung. He… Jaebum-hyung has hurt you before. Your relationship before was difficult. The adjustments you had to go through will be hard. However... in my opinion, what he feels for you now, it’s genuine. He really is in love with you.”

“He is?” Mark asks, wide eyed and Jinyoung nods his head.

“Yes, I started noticing it that time you went out without telling him where you’ll go. He was frantically calling me every single minute. It was so uncharacteristic for him to act that way for your expense. And when he told me about the real conditions of our loan, I have finally proven my suspicions.” The younger omega sighs deeply, covering Mark’s hand with his own. “Hyung, I know that he had hurt you so much. But you also have to decide if you will forgive him or not because this whole thing you’re building together will only crumble down and hurt you both further if you won’t clarify things.”

Mark stares at his friend’s fingers entwined with his, seeing the difference of Jaebum’s hands when it’s wrapped around his. He let the silence answer for him, stalling the inevitable and prolonging his agony.

 

~

 

> _“We are surrounded by all of these lies_  
>  _And people who talk too much_  
>  _You've got that kind of look in your eyes_  
>  _As if no one knows anything but us_  
>  _And should this be the last thing I see_  
>  _I want you to know it's enough for me_  
>  _'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need_  
>  _I'm so in love, so in love_  
>  _So in love, so in love.”_  
>  -Ed Sheeran, Tenerife Sea

Jackson and Jinyoung bullied Mark into wearing a three pieced midnight blue suit that they said would make him feel special on his special day, making him feel overdressed as they enter the rather empty restaurant. Jaebum calls him sometime during lunch telling that he won’t be able to go home at dinner since he suddenly had clients to meet with. Mark shrugs the slight disappointment he felt upon realizing that he won’t be able to spend his birthday with Jaebum this year as well. He chose to force a smile instead, still feeling joyful because of the little infanf as his date for tonight.

Jackson promptly takes Saera’s carrier from him the moment they stepped inside the front doors of the restaurant, letting Mark lead their group with the head waitress. She motions for the omega to enter the double doors, confusing him when she merely lets him enter and didn’t lead him to their supposed table.

Mark gets even more confused when he is greeted by a group of people, turning simultaneously when he steps in hesitantly. They all look familiar but his mind forgot to function when all the attention were suddenly focused on him.

“ _Surprise_!” they all shout in unison, scaring Mark out of his skin by the intensity of their voices. Jackson, who stood outside of the room with Saera, in case the baby gets agitated by the noise, is now beside him, giving him a bear hug.

“What’s going on?” the omega asks, still confused as to why people surprised him.

“It’s a surprise birthday party for you, you git!” he teases, kissing Mark’s cheek before walking towards Jinyoung, who’s now standing beside some of their distant cousins. He glances around the room, noting that some of his former schoolmates are here and a bunch of his good friends from his father’s company. Mark's forehead scrunch up in confusion when he recognized Jaebum’s Friday buddies waving wildly at him at the fathest side of the room.

How did Jinyoung knew them?

“Happy Birthday, my _love_ ,” a familiar pair of arms wrap around his waist, tugging him against a broad chest, until he recognized the voice as Jaebum’s.

He turns around to face him, eyes staring up in disbelief that he’s even here.

“You did this? But I thought you didn’t know…”

“Mark, I’m not stupid enough to do the same mistakes I did in the past. I love you so much and I want you to see how much.”

“How long have you been planning this?” he asks breathlessly.

“A few months back. Even before appa passed away. It was put on hold for a while but after Saera was born I immediately resumed the planning for this party. I want you to have the best birthday parties from here on—to make up for all the times you were celebrating it alone,” Jaebum says regretfully, forehead pressed lovingly against Mark’s.

“Oh. Thank you,” the omega whispers hoarsely, surprising his husband with a fervent kiss. Jaebum kisses him back the moment he got over his shock, hands now resting Mark’s waist as he pulls him closer.

“Hmmm, every time I would see the two of you, you’re always all over each other,” a brash voice mutters at their side, making them pull apart to face a smiling Park Sungjin, eyes teasing as he chuckles. He steps closer to him and envelops him in a warm embrace before whispering, “Happy Birthday, Mark. It’s been so long since I have seen you last and you made me miss you.”

Mark initially doubted the alpha’s statement, considering that they have only met once but seeing the sincerity in Sungjin’s eyes made him believe every word.

It was a round of dancing after that, Mark being danced by almost everyone, leaving Jaebum pouting at the sides, sulking when one of his friends would deliberately flirt with Mark.

“Care to spare a time for your husband?” he asks grumpily at one point, looking like he’s actually jealous—that realization gave Mark a boost of confidence, making him smile brightly.

“I do have a minute for you,” he teases, earning him a growl from the alpha, who then immediately envelops him in a hug, swaying slowly with the music as he buries his face on the omega’s neck. The two of them got so wrapped up in their bubble that they didn’t notice the presence standing a few feet from where they stood.

“Jaebum-ah?” a voice calls out behind Mark, making the alpha begrudgingly pull away from the comfort of the omega’s neck to face the person who called his attention. Mark watches his husband’s face light up in excitement before he launched into rapid Korean.

Puzzled by who it might be, Mark turns around and froze.

It was Jaebum’s mother, looking infinitely sophisticated in a simple dress, standing beside two of Jaebum’s cousins he recognized as Dahyun and Youngjae.

“Mark, this is my eomma and two of my cousins, Youngjae and Dahyun. They flew in to meet you and the baby,” Jaebum wraps his arm protectively around his shoulders, guiding him to step closer to the group of people standing a few feet away. “Eomma, this is my husband, Mark.”

The four of them eyed each other warily, unsure of what to expect. Finally, one of Jaebum’s cousin steps in, his smile so bright Mark thinks he can actually rival the sun.

“Hi, my name is Youngjae!” he greets in a loud accented voice, surprising Mark when he gives him a warm hug. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Mark-hyung.”

“It’s uhh… nice to meet you too,” he mutters awkwardly, glancing at Jaebum for help which the alpha merely answers with a reassuring nod of his head.

“They were supposed to visit us next week, but they decided to fly in last night, just in time for your birthday,” Jaebum explains, the apology evident in his eyes as if he’s afraid that their presence in Mark’s birthday will put a damp on the latter’s mood. The omega smiles brightly at him, giving Jaebum a gentle squeeze on his arm to reassure him that everything’s alright.

“What a wonderful surprise this is, Mrs. Im, Youngjae and Dahyun. I am happy you are all here,” Mark tells them after the shock is no longer in his system and enabling him to give them his most genuine smile.

“My nieces Jeongyeon and Nayeon weren’t able to fly in as they both have schedules to take care of,” Jaebum’s mother starts to explain, her voice neutral. “And of course my mother-in-law is too old to travel but all of them are sending their best.”

Mark highly doubt that, remembering how the three women seethed at him in contempt during the video call. However, he chooses to let it go and believe in Jaebum’s mother instead.

_It would hurt less that way._

“Mrs. Im, I am very sorry for your loss,” Mark reaches out for the woman’s hands, enveloping it with his in regret. “I also apologize for not being at the funeral.”

“Aigoo, don’t be silly, Mark,” the older woman scoffs, determinedly blinking away the tears forming at the side of her eyes. “You had a very difficult pregnancy. Traveling in that state would have been foolish. I’m just glad you’re okay after that and my Saera is safe and sound. Speaking of the angel, where is she? I have seen pictures of her but it would have been different if I were to hold her,” she says all of a sudden, voice firm that brooked no argument leaving Jaebum scurrying to follow her orders after giving her a little salute and a boyish smile.

Mark realizing he has been left alone with Jaebum’s intimidating family, tensed up, gulping his nervousness for whatever they will do now that their brother and son is gone. He fidgets helplessly on his jacket, feeling the collar of his shirt suddenly closing up. He looks around for Jaebum and felt his heart sink when he’s at the opposite part of the restaurant, talking to Jooheon and Wonpil.

“I owe you an apology,” Jaebum’s mother shocked him by saying and the omega dares to glance at her sophisticated and elegant face, puzzled when her face softens, eyes glassy as she smiles regretfully at him. “I was less than gracious when you called to speak with my husband. After the funeral, Jaebum has finally told us about your arrangement and how your father and my son treated you."

"I..."

"You have all of the reason to loathe my husband and refuse to meet with him for he’s the cause why you had to suffer, but you showed a great depth of character when you met him and showed him how wonderful of a person you are.” The older woman dabs her eyes with a tissue given to her by Dahyun, breathing deep to compose herself back to normalcy. She then glances back at Mark, face contrite—a mirror of Jaebum’s expression for the last few weeks. “You made my husband happy before he passed away. He was so worried about our only son suffering for our selfish decisions but seeing how you treated him, how much you loved him despite his infinite flaws… you have sent off my husband happily. Thank you, Mark and I am so sorry.”

“I was happy to meet him, Mrs. Im,” Mark whispers huskily, hands comforting his mother-in-law tenderly.

“This is more than two years too late but, my _son_ , it was very nice to meet you. And from now on please call me _eomma_. It’ll be my honor,” the older woman says, engulfing Mark in a motherly hug that got him tearing up at some point, turning his insides into mush and making him look forward to a life where he could lean into an actual parent who would guide him and teach him parenthood for Saera.

The next few minutes were less tensed as Youngjae started talking his ears off, his English skills quite impeccable and amazing. Mark feels a certain camaraderie with the loud beta, seeing himself confiding in him and teaming up with him in teasing Jaebum.

“Are you okay?” Jaebum asks an hour later, when his family are now busy mingling with the other guests and he got Mark alone in a corner. The omega smiles at him dreamily.

“Yes. I am so happy.”

“I’m sorry if I didn’t have the chance to tell you that my family will be here. I hope they haven’t spoiled the party for you because I want everything to be perfect for you, _love_.”

“It is perfect,” Mark assures him, flicking his nose playfully. “They are all lovely. All of them.”

“Good, because if they treated you badly I will book a flight for them immediately and banned them from coming here.”

The omega chuckles at Jaebum's absurdity, shaking his head in exasperation. “They are your family.”

“You are my family. You’re the priority.”

Mark stares at Jaebum’s serious face, eyes full of unfamiliar emotions he’s not used to seeing in him. The omega forces a smile at his husband before excusing himself so he could breathe, using Saera as an excuse for his cowardice.

 

~

 

> _“My bones are safe_  
>  _And my heart can rest_  
>  _Knowing it belongs to you_
> 
> _My world is changed_  
>  _And it's cradled by_  
>  _The comfort that is you.”_  
>  -Reese Lansangan, Home

 

The night was spent with laughter and dancing, Mark feeling happy when he finally blew his candles and Jaebum giving him a bundle of helium balloons he always dreamed of having growing up. They wrapped up everything around midnight, Mark feeling light but also very tired that he immediately dozed off the moment they got into the car and his head leaned onto Jaebum’s wide shoulder.

Mark woke up sometime at dawn, hearing Saera’s fretting on the baby monitor that got him panicking and almost running towards the nursery. However, he stops in his tracks when he heard his husband’s voice at the baby monitor, singing a beautiful lullaby that had him smiling as he listens to his sleep-roughened voice going slightly off-key.

The omega pads his way towards the nursery, missing his little girl as they have both been busy the whole night. Jaebum smiles widely upon seeing him walking towards the crib, hand passing him the milk bottle so he could feed their child.

Saera immediately suckles on her milk bottle, leaving the room in total silence once she found what she’s finally looking for. The two men are now sitting on the small sofa, smiling identically at their child’s adorable temper who’s showing early on that she could be quite demanding.

“I’m going back to our room tomorrow, Jaebum,” Mark tells the alpha quietly, earning him a silent nod and a lackluster hum of approval.

It took him about a full minute before he finally replies, “That’s good. I would love that, Mark.”

An awkward silence ensues after that, confusing the omega why his husband’s reaction seemed to be lukewarm when he thought he’ll be a bit more… _elated_.

_Isn’t this what he wants?_

“You want me to go back, right?” the omega asks, surprised when Jaebum glances at him with pain in his eyes.

“Of course, Mark. Of course, I want you back,” his husband says cryptically, making the omega think that he’s talking about more than just Mark going back into their room. “I… I have something for you,” Jaebum says, abruptly leaving his place at the sofa and going back two minutes later with a thick manila envelope in his hands. He took Saera from Mark’s arms and replaced the ominous envelope in the latter’s lap.

“I’m supposed to give this to you this morning as part of your birthday gift. But since you’re already up, might as well give it to you now.”

Mark stares at the envelope for a long time, glancing at Jaebum for some clue to what it is and prolonging the agony by letting his mind think of the worst.

“It won’t bite you,” the alpha surprises him saying, putting him in motion as he turns the flap so he could take out its contents. He immediately reads the block letters in anticipation

“Jaebum… what did you do?” Mark asks in shock, staring at both of their names at the top of the paper. “You can’t do this!”

“I could and I did. It’s yours.”

Mark glances at his husband, carrying their child while he looks serious, no contempt or mischief in his eyes.

He has given Mark the farm. He puts his father’s land under his name.

“But this is your father’s…”

“And after he passed away, it became mine. Technically you father could still snatch it back but it’s a gesture, Mark.”

“Gesture of?” Mark asks, still puzzled.

“The gesture of me giving up everything for you. I want you to know that I am willing to lay down everything for you.”

“But your mother… your grandmother…” the omega reasons out, remembering the old woman’s obvious distaste towards him.

“ _Eomma_ wants you to have it too. And don’t worry about my grandmother anymore, she’ll get around this. This isn’t about any of them, this is about us, about what I broke… and what I wanted to fix,” Jaebum shakes his head as his voice breaks.

“I think it’s about time you tell me about Bae Joo-hyun,” Mark says finally, feeling his body turning numb with anxiety as he gets Saera back into his arms.

“Joo-hyun?” the alpha asks, shutting his eyes as he tries to gather his thoughts. They were enveloped by a long silence before he spoke. “She’s the omega I have always pictured myself marrying. Like me, she’s reserved, always put together and isn’t a fan of messy emotional scenes. We dated back in college and got along just fine. Our relationship is uncomplicated and cynical, easy and predictable. I fancied myself in love with her and I thought we’re suited just fine.”

Mark tries to keep his expression neutral, jaw hurting from gritting his teeth in pain while he listens to the truth he asked for.

“Then _appa_ got sick and I decided to negotiate with your father and met you, saw your quiet beauty that got me going crazy the whole night. You made me want you with a violence that scared the living heck out of me because I have never felt that before. I have always relied on control, but you had me compromising. Sadly, the day after that I found out that you are Richard Tuan’s son and I instantly resented you because I thought you deliberately lured me in so I would be left with no choice but to sign that sordid contract of your father’s.

Jaebum swallows nervously, glancing at him with sad eyes. “I resented you and our marriage. I entered our arrangement with full determination to take that contract with both hands and leave you suffering alone because I thought you deserved it. I kept you at a distance, I refused to kiss you or show any affection towards you outside of bed. I pretended to like other people so I could deliberately hurt your father more. However, it was you who’s taking the heat of my actions. And then... you started to become distant and closed off, the attention that you used to shower me before is now gone, leaving me with nothing else but your silence. I feel like losing my mind because I couldn’t understand why it’s important for me that you’re giving me your undivided attention. I reasoned out that it’s because I wanted to let you suffer more.”  
Jaebum stands up from the sofa again, but this time to pace around the room, looking like a feral cat that’s been locked up for so long. Mark feels the walls in his heart slowly crumbling, the ledge where they stand is now swaying precariously under his feet.

“When I go back to South Korea and meet with Joo-hyun…” the alpha stops pacing and turns towards Mark, fixing him with a knowing look. “I never touched her! I want you to know that. My family kept pushing us together but Joo-hyun and I are just friends. She knows my feelings for you and would often tell me to just confess so this whole sham would just have ended, but I was stubborn and stupid." He bites his lips in contemplation, seemingly finding the right words to say. "I used to think about you missing me, you thinking about me when I'm away. I couldn't understand myself at first, why I would always have you on my mind when what I wanted to happen was you putting me always on yours."

Jaebum closes the distance between them, kneeling in front of Mark on the sofa, the gesture becoming more familiar as the alpha seemed to always tries to show him humility.

“When _appa_ died and I was away from you, the pull to just drop everything and go back _home_ was so strong that our phone calls back then leaves me helpless. The sound of your voice was so distant and sad that it had me wanting to pull my hair in frustration because I want to be with you, but I also had to take care of my relatives and my mother.

“Also that night… when you asked for a divorce… you shocked the hell out of me, shaking my then twisted mind into getting it straight for once because if I didn’t you would eventually slip away. And now…” Jaebum’s holds on to one of Mark’s hands, kissing the back of it tenderly as a stray tear falls onto the omega’s skin.  "And now that I have finally come to terms with my feelings, you’re no longer interested in hearing what I have to say..." Jaebum shuts his eyes for a moment before glancing back up at him "Mark… if you want vengeance for all the things I did to you, please know that you have got it in spades when nothing I seemed to be doing ever comes to you. All I did would come off as either insincere or forced.

“And then you told me you were pregnant,” Jaebum caresses Saera’s cheek, earning him a whine from the little baby that is now sleeping peacefully on her father’s arm. “Suddenly, there’s a ticking time bomb in the house. I do not have enough time to make you love me again; I now only have a few months. The only thing I kept on wishing and praying for is now a noose around my neck, tightening each passing day. Don’t get me wrong, Mark. I love our baby, but it also terrified me because it has now become the reason that you’ll no longer be with me. I wanted you to include me in your doctor’s appointment and the whole pregnancy because I want you to see that we could work out well together. That we could be a unit and that we’re possible. When you started becoming keen on just having a son, I prayed for a girl because a girl would buy me more time, a girl would also let you see that I do not have the desire to leave this marriage. I wanted our marriage to last forever.”

Jaebum seems to run out of words to say, finally breathing deep as he anxiously looks up at Mark. It was a few minutes of tensed silence before the omega puts his hand along Jaebum’s soft strands, letting his fingers ran on top of his head and then stay in his cheek.

The omega's formerly blinded eyes are now clear, seeing for the first time the actual truth of Jaebum's feelings for him, and that realization freed him from any of his lingering fears and mistrusts.

_He's ready._

Mark could see himself on the ledge again, now holding both of Jaebum's hands, as he jumps with the alpha, heart soaring as he tries to go down, down, down.

Happy that this time, there will be someone catching his fall.

"I have never really stopped loving you, Jaebum-ah," he whispers softly. "I just learned how to keep it well so that I won't get hurt again," Mark confesses, voice cracking a bit because of his overwhelming emotions.

Jaebum looks at him vehemently, total relief finally enveloping his being, until all he could do is smile brightly at the omega, kissing his hand in gratitude.

"I will never hurt you," he promises and Mark shakes his head.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Jaebum-ah."

"Then I promise not to deliberately hurt you. I will be there beside you for as long as you need me," he paraphrased carefully and Mark smiled, the old affectionate smile he used to shower him at the beginning of their marriage. The one that makes his eyes glint with mischief and unguarded happiness.

Jaebum's breath catch at the sight.

"I love you," he says again, voice full of love and affection, not getting sick of saying it to the omega.

Mark smiles shyly at him, giving him a quick peck on the lips before making him the happiest man when he replies, "I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the next chapter should also be posted after this but something's not right there yet so I have to work on it more. I am so sorry for not keeping my promises. LOL
> 
> See you soonest!
> 
> Xoxo,  
> A


	15. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the "ending" we're all looking for.  
> Well, I really hope this will suffice. LMAO.

" _Appa, I wanna swim pwease_ ," the boy whines, body shaking in anticipation as he sees the vast blue ocean ahead, waves thankfully tamed and that's just great for swimming for kids like him. The bright sun is shining down on them with vigor, giving their creamy skin a sun-kissed color while their foreheads bead with sweat. A black Labrador zooms in around them, barking happily at his new found freedom which heightens the already overly excited boy in his arms.

Jaebum frowns in worry, double-checking his son's floaters, making sure all of them are strapped tightly and won't leave the three year old's small body before he lets him go to the water. The boy starts to pout when his overprotective father goes over the straps again.

" _Appaaaa!_ "

"Jaebum-ah," Mark interjects, holding his husband's hand to stop his fidgeting. "Let Yugyeom go to the ocean already. Our son looks like a human burrito with his vest and floaters, I'm sure he won't drown anymore. In, fact he might not touch the water because of it," the omega says, chuckling good heartedly which earned him a growl from the alpha.

"I just don't want anything to happen to him. He just got out of a fever," Jaebum mutters defensibly, finally letting the boy go. As if on cue, the little boy immediately toddles like a flash of lightning, going straight towards the shore where his sister and their dog are already playing. Yugyeom screams in delight when the cold water touches his chubby feet.

" _I's cowd, noona!_ " Yugyeom yells, laughing when the water would catch up to him, imagination going wild as he plays by himself. The dark-haired girl in pigtails instantaneously holds the little boy’s hand, keeping him balanced when he almost teetered towards the water which had Jaebum gasping like a goldfish beside the omega.

Mark smiles at his husband’s attentiveness to their kids, going out of his wits when they get sick or going to unsafe places.

Who would have thought that it will be his life after all that he and Jaebum went through? Seven years have gone so fast and the two of them already experienced a lot.

Realizing that they both felt the same way five years ago, didn’t magically turn everything perfect for both men. Jaebum’s aware that Mark would still have his moments and the latter would still have to fight his urges to hide away when they are having problems. The two of them would still argue, they would still unintentionally hurt each other because they are only human, but they actively work on it together, well mostly Jaebum but still, they are keeping their marriage intact the best they could.

Luckily, it’s not only their relationship that got reconciled that year Saera was born; even Mark’s father reached out to him to ask for forgiveness, finally realizing his mistakes and seeing the importance of his son in his life. For the first time since he neglected Mark, Richard Tuan has finally seen his son’s worth—that Mark is a person and not a commodity.

However, like his relationship with Jaebum, Mark’s rebuilding or more like establishing of his relationship with his father wasn’t by all means easy. First and foremost, their relationship had been shaky from the very beginning, so the foundation of what they have is already in ruins, making it extremely difficult to build at least a smooth floor to stand on. Mark would always feel wary and the older man would always feel insecure of whatever he’s doing for Mark. However, both are finally determined to work on their relationship as father and son, so they started tiptoeing around each other, gauging each other’s moods until the both of them could finally meet without one looking like he’s about to bolt and hide away. Now, they’re more civil and friendly towards each other, Mark even letting his father treat him like an ideal dad treats his son and accepting his still distant but sincere affection.

It wasn’t perfect, but Mark would always take what he could get, especially since the older man got head over heels for his daughter— _Saera_. The little mischievous kid managing to snatch her grandfather and playing him like putty in the palms of her hand. One would think Richard has always wished for a granddaughter since he couldn’t seem to stop talking about her to his friends and business partners. His genuine pride shining through his eyes whenever he tells that it is his one and only omega son who gave him a wonderful angel as a granddaughter who could do no wrong in his eyes.

Richard made Mark cry in overwhelming happiness when one day, out of no reason at all, he suddenly told him how proud the omega made him. Mark, from then on, allowed himself to forgive and love the older man again with all of his heart.

“What are you thinking about?” Jaebum asks, interrupting Mark’s musings as he wraps the omega between his arms, eyes still monitoring their children being supervised by at least eight of their security personnel.

Mark leans into his husband’s broad chest, always loving the feeling of being enclosed in between his big body, while the alpha rests his chin on his shoulder.  
“I’m thinking of our lives,” he tells softly, voice almost dreamy. “Of our kids… of daddy... of your family… and how far we’ve come,” he finally mutters, Jaebum holding Mark tighter at the reminder of the first few years of their marriage and how stupid he had been.

When the omega feels his husband’s face becoming solemn, he immediately turns to face him and locks his lips towards Jaebum’s soft ones.

“I love you,” Mark whispers, knowing that it will instantly make the alpha feel better, and he did not disappoint… Jaebum gives him an ear-splitting grin right after that, which reminds the omega of that time he told his husband about being pregnant with Yugyeom and how different it was with their first born.

They really have come a long way.

“I love you even more,” Jaebum whispers back, kissing the omega again but this time deeper and fervently, almost urgent and needy.

“We’re in public,” Mark mumbles in between kisses, giggling and trashing when his husband squeezed his buttocks.

“What? I don’t see anyone around us,” the alpha mutters, looking around and seeing no one. Mark glances around as well, finding their children now playing at the farthest side of the beach, relief flooding his system when he saw their security personnel making a small circle around the two toddlers.

“Our children are just a few meters away, get your mind together, pervert.”

“Oh, I am a pervert?” Jaebum asks, feigning offense. “Who gave me a head the other night at the pool?” he purrs and Mark instantly blushes, remembering the night he got so turned on by Jaebum looking sexy in his board shorts and nothing else that he bullied the alpha in letting him put his member in his mouth. Lucky for them no one’s around and they did it at the darkest part of the pool.

Mark hits Jaebum’s arm in embarrassment. “It’s just… it’s been too long and I missed you. Besides, you were also seducing me for the whole day, so it’s only normal that I will give in.”

Jaebum’s teasing smile turns soft at that, pulling Mark tighter against him while he leaves a quick peck on the omega’s pouting lips.

“I know, I know. But seriously, thank you for being so supportive of me, my _love_. I wouldn’t have done this without you,” he says, pressing his forehead against Mark’s, as the latter smiles serenely while remembering the time they weren’t together since the alpha has to tend to a business he’s started in Thailand with Jackson.

A surprising fact because Mark didn’t think they would form a strong bond, like with how they are always almost on the verge of strangling each other before. Apparently, the omega’s first child birth had them reconciling and then subsequently making them good friends.

Everything is really doing great in their lives.

 _Well, not all the time_.

A loud wail of a child can be heard from the distance, interrupting Mark and Jaebum from their little bubble the soon they recognized Yugyeom’s voice crying in pain. They both run fast to where the children are, immediately seeing Saera patting her baby brother’s head to comfort him while one of the body guard’s kneels beside the crying boy, holding something in his hands.

Jaebum got to Yugyeom faster, cataloguing his body immediately, checking each body parts and when finally deeming him fine, gazes right back to his tear-stained face.

“What’s wrong, Gyeomie?” he asks frantically as Mark kneels beside him to face their son as well, pulling Saera in between his arms.

“Baby, what happened?” the omega asks, brushing the boy’s thick bangs that are now sticking to his skin.

“I kiwled it,” he wails, pointing at their body guard’s hand, where a brown spiky starfish was splayed unmoving. Mark stares at it in confusion, eyes going to his husband where their eyes subsequently met, and together they sigh in relief.

“Yugyeom-ah, look at appa,” Jaebum tells softly, wiping his son’s tears with his thumb, resulting for the kid to turn down his sobs and look at his father with his misty brown eyes. “What makes you think you killed the starfish?”

“’Cause it wown’t move. I huwt it,” he says, eyes suddenly widening in a realization. “I won’t go to heawen, appa?” he innocently asks, clenching his parents’ heart with his innocence and purity.

Now, the two men only wanted to shield their son from the world as much as possible, for as long as they could— _both him and Saera_.

“Of course, you will still go to heaven,” Mark immediately replies, kissing the little boy’s head. “You didn’t kill the starfish anyway. It’s breathing, look,” he points at the body guard’s hand, the latter showing the starfish upside down, where it’s feet can still be seen moving and breathing.

“I’s alive!” Yugyeom gushes, tears and pain already forgotten as he steps away from his parents and follows his bodyguard to put the starfish back into the water.

“Yugyeom is so overdramatic,” Saera observes, her eyes rolling sassily at no one in particular, surprising her fathers and making the alpha laugh.

“Hey, little lady. You also had your moments when you were his age,” he teases, earning him a pout from the little girl who looks exactly like him.

“I am not like that, appa. I don’t cry like a baby.”

“You are still a baby, you’re five,” Mark deadpans, pinching the little girl’s cheek while she’s still in between his arms. Saera turns to him with an adorable scowl on her face, hands perched on both of her hips.  
“I will be six, soon, papa. Aunt Nayeon says I’m almost an adult,” she says proudly, nose perched in the air just like what her Aunt does on a daily basis. It makes the omega giggle in amusement how his daughter acts so much like his sister-in-law when they weren’t usually seeing the sassy woman.

 _I guess it manifests if it's running through their genes_.

Mark remembers the exact first time he met Nayeon in person, back when she’s still wary of how their relationship would go, considering about the woman’s perception of him before and how the omega’s father treated her brother—it was a long road of trial and error, of trying to find their balance, of differences being worked on.

It all paid off because Nayeon finally warmed up to Mark after seeing the latter’s genuine and sincerest intentions not only for her brother, but for Nayeon and her sisters' welfare as well.

The one that’s only having a hard time accepting Mark is Jaebum’s grandmother. The old woman still being stubborn in fully accepting the omega. But Mark is determined and positive that the old woman would eventually get there. She would eventually come into forgiveness and love like what Mark found in his life.

“Papa, ice cweam?” he hears his son croaks behind him, eyes hopeful and expectant.

And Mark is no match to those eyes, he was bound to lose long before Yugyeom even started. He dejectedly nods his head in agreement but not before giving the boy a meaningful stare.

“But promise me you’ll still eat dinner, especially your veggies?”

“Yes, papa!” Yugyeom replies, smiling brightly and nodding his head in excitement as he tells this vital information with his sister, who is now also jumping up and down with him, screaming in glee that she’ll get the strawberry flavor while the little boy replies that he’ll have choco.

Mark smiles at the picture they made, eyes finding Jaebum and meeting his from a few feet away, smiling fondly as his eyes try to convey what he feels.

 _I love you_.

 

The Im family stuffed themselves with ice cream and chocolate candies before finally going home. The omega internally regretting his decision of letting his son eat more than enough sugar as he’s now overzealously running around with his arms flapping at his sides, mimicking what seems to be the sound of a pigeon.

“ _Kka, kka, kka!_ ”

“Yugyeom, it’s past bed time, baby. Go to bed now and papa will read you a story,” Mark tells him, holding out the boy’s favorite book, _The Little Prince_.

The little boy pouts his lips in protest, hand reaching behind to free his tight little boxers hugging his buttocks. Mark fights the urge to laugh at him and mentally reminds himself to buy Yugyeom new set of clothes as the boy grows up fast, out growing almost all of his clothes and shoes.

Even with a heavy heart, the little boy obediently heads over to his bed and lays still while his dad tucks him in. He looks at him expectantly as he starts reading the story.

Yugyeom went to sleep ten minutes after Mark starts to read him the book, overexcitement finally succumbing to slumber and the amount of sugar in his system being flushed out when he ran around the house for most of their dinner until bedtime.

Mark then pads softly towards Saera’s green room, kissing her forehead as they both wish each other goodnight. The little girl gushed with him about how her father sang her two songs just because she told him how she’ll never have a boyfriend and that she'll be with her appa forever.

Although Mark finds it adorable, he also tells the little girl that she eventually would want to marry someone in the future but if she decides to really stay with them, then the omega will never complain.

Finally, after all of his fatherly duties are done, Mark treads towards the master’s bedroom, tiringly and blindly trudging his way to the bed. He face planted himself diagonally on the cushions, moaning in relief when the soft blankets enveloped his tired muscles and relaxing him. He was enjoying his alone time when suddenly, a warm, half naked body wraps his from behind, arms looping around his waist and mouth latching his neck, marking his skin with blooming tattoos of reds and purples.

“Jaebum…” Mark whines but not really pushing the insatiable alpha away, a signal that whatever it is they are doing, the omega is not against it, making the latter smile in mischief. “Hey, stop,” he groans when he could feel Jaebum grinding his growing erection against his backside, lips now hovering on his ear, nipping the edges of the skin.

“Do you really want me to stop, baby?” he asks and Mark nods fervently. “You sure?” another nod. “Then why are you grinding back?” he deadpans, that got the omega chuckling in a mixture of embarrassment and delight, because the alpha always makes it a point to call him out on his outrageous behaviors in bed, as if he couldn’t believe that Mark’s naivety and innocence at sex have totally changed in a matter of a few years.

“Well, what can I say? I also want you inside of me, Jaebummie,” he mutters at the same rhythm he’s dry humping his husband with.

He could feel the alpha’s breath hitched while the latter is snaking his hands towards the omega's crotch. Mark was about to cry out in ecstasy by the idea of Jaebum’s hands and body on him when the loud banging of their door had them guiltily separating from each other, erection painfully going placid and faces blushing for a different reason.

They both look at the doorway, where their son, Yugyeom, was standing awkwardly, thumb in his mouth while his other hand’s clutching his blankie. It took quite a while for Mark to really recognize him, head still a little bit too hazy from the desire his husband just opened. But after that’s gone, he calls over the boy to come closer.

“W-what’s wrong, honey?” he asks, seeing Yugyeom’s lip trembles that had him opening his arm for an embrace. The kid instantly goes in between, hugging him back with his chubby arms. While Jaebum pats the boy’s head to help him relax.

“I scayd, papa” he cries, burrowing his little head on the omega’s chest.

“What are you scared of?” he asks the boy.

Yugyeom glances at him, lips pouting and eyes glassy. “Awowne,” he says, word so vague and gibberish that an average person who doesn’t know him wouldn’t understand, but Mark and Jaebum, being very hands on for Yugyeom, knew exactly what he was saying.

“You're scared that you're alone?” Jaebum clarifies, and Yugyeom nods his head.

Both men glance at each other briefly, realizing that their son is still having problems being left alone because he gets scared, thinking there are monsters and ghosts behind and under him.

Mark holds him tighter before speaking.

"Is it the ghosts and the monsters again?" His son instantly buries his whole body against him, trying to hide just by hearing those words and Mark already knew that whatever sexy time he was about to have with Jaebum should be forgotten.

Their son cockblocked them yet again.

"Can I sleep here?" Yugyeom asks pleadingly, the same brown eyes staring back at him. Mark glances back at his husband for help and sees Jaebum shrugging helplessly.

"It's okay," the alpha mouth silently, seemingly answering even the omega's underlying question. "Just promise me we'll have it in the shower tomorrow morning. I need to be inside you, Mark," he whispers conspiratorially on the omega's ears, making him shiver in anticipation. Mark, even with excitement, throws Jaebum a look of admonishment before smiling from ear to ear.

"Appa?" A small voice whispers from the doorway, making all three of them to turn towards Saera, who's standing there looking awkward with her favorite fox plushie wrapped around her arm.

"Yes, darling?" Jaebum asks immediately, walking over to her side so he could carry the dark-haired girl in his arms.

Mark couldn't help but smile when he looks at them side by side and see the uncanny features they have, from the hair down to the nose and eyes.

"Can I sleep here too?" she asks softly, cheeks adorably blushing from asking. Jaebum swallows his chuckles and chose to tease his daughter a little bit.

"Hmmm... But I thought you said you're almost an adult? You'll be six soon, right? Adults no longer sleep with their parents."

"Huh? But..." she trails off, biting her lips in contemplation as she looks at her father intently. "Then I don't want to grow up and I will stay with you and papa instead," she determinedly says, wrapping her little arms around her father as she hugs him tighter.

Jaebum fights the onslew of tears coming out of his eyes at his little girl's sweet admission, also finding it hard to accept the realization that she's not going to be his little princess any longer since she and Yugyeom seem to be growing so fast.

If only he could really hold them in his hands forever, he would do it. But like him, his children need to learn, to make mistakes and to overcome through them. He would need to let go of them.

He and Mark gaze back at each other once more, both of their eyes glassy from probably the same realization.

Jaebum turns the lights off and walks over the bed to deposit Saera, who by then wraps her arms around Yugyeom that's already lying down their dad's side.

"I love you," Mark whispers in the darkness of the room, illuminated only by the moonlight shining outside their window.

He couldn't see Jaebum's eyes or lips from where he lays on the bed but he knows that his husband was smiling when he says his mantra, his prayer, his new favorite five words that makes the omega's heart  shoot up in the sky in different colors like fireworks.

" _I love you even more_."

And that's that. That's the love he has always looked for.

 

 

> I can think of all the times  
>  You told me not to touch the light  
>  I never thought that you would be the one  
>  I couldn't really justify  
>  How you even thought it could be right  
>  Cause everything we cherished is gone  
>  And in the end can you me tell me if  
>  It was worth the try, so I can decide  
>    
>  Leaves will soon grow from the bareness of trees  
>  And all will be alright in time  
>  From waves overgrown come the calmest of seas  
>  And all will be alright in time  
>  Oh you never really love someone until, you learn to forgive  
>    
>  Try as hard as I might  
>  To flee the shadows of the night  
>  It haunts me and it makes me feel blue  
>  But how can I try to hide  
>  When every breath and every hour  
>  I still end up thinking of you  
>  And in the end everything we have makes it worth the fight  
>  So I will hold on for as long
> 
> As leaves will soon grow from the bareness of trees  
>  And all will be alright in time  
>  From waves overgrown come the calmest of seas  
>  And all will be alright in time  
>  Ohh you never really love someone until you learn to forgive  
>    
>  I never thought that I would see the day  
>  That I'd decide if I should leave or stay  
>  But in the end what makes it worth the fight's  
>  That no matter what happens we try to make it right  
>    
>  Leaves will soon grow from the bareness of trees  
>  And all will be alright in time  
>  From waves overgrown come the calmest of seas  
>  And all will be alright in time  
>  Wounds of the past will eventually heal  
>  And all will be alright in time  
>  'Cause all of this comes with a love that is real  
>  I said all will be alright in time  
>  I said all will be alright in time  
>  I said all will be alright in time  
>  All will be alright in time  
>  Ohh, you never really love someone until  
>  You learn to forgive  
>  You learn to forgive  
>  Learn to forgive
> 
> -Ben&Ben, Leaves

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo... That's it people. That's the end of our story. Thank you so much for patiently waiting and putting up with my crazies. I know what I did wasn't much but the way you guys supported me throughout this journey has been immensely overwhelming and humbling.
> 
> Because of this story I have found new wonderful people I could call friends, and consequentially, this story will always be special to me. Some of you are probably wondering why I kind of made this thing longer and [dragging]—it's all because I was having a hard time letting it go. It was that special to me that I feel like I'm gonna have a hard time releasing it to the world just like Jaebum's having a hard time letting go of his children. LMAO
> 
> Trivia: all of the quotes are songs I was actually listening to when I was writing that certain portion of the chapter to keep me in the same atmosphere. These are songs that I personally think works well with the story. I hope you guys give them a try sometime. They are from great artists. Hihihi!  
> Edit: also, that Celestial Maiden is from my favorite anime, Ayashi No Ceres. I love that story so much.
> 
> Again, to those who read my story from the first time I uploaded it here up until the end, for those who read it and got bored in the middle, for those who discovered this because it was recommended by a friend and for those who will read this in the future... Please take my sincerest thanks and gratitude for appreciating what I have done. You guys made the whole experience fun and exciting to be really honest.
> 
> To my ahgafam;  
> Penny—my markbum buddy. We wouldn't be getting this story with this otp if it wasn't for your influence. I take back what I said the first time I stanned Jaebum. I don't hate you anymore. LOL I love you.  
> Lhen—to the girl who encouraged me to read fanfics and eventually write my very own... You are the root cause of all these crazies. I love you.  
> Tina—for unconsciously and then proactively plying me with A+ fics back in 2016 til now. I will always see you and Lhen the root cause of this crazy. I love you.  
> Diane—maknae, you are the most supportive fluffy bean I could ever ask for. You read my fic almost as fast as the next person and I couldn't thank you enough for spazzing on me 5 minutes after you catch your breath. You're my angel. I love you.  
> To my unnies and fellow markbum stans—your encouragement and little push when I'm having challenges had me successfully writing this story til the end. I love you.
> 
> All of you guys are my MVPs. I love you.
> 
> To markbum... The loves my life, who fuel my green mind and fluffy thoughts... Keep flirting. I need you to do that for future references. LMAO
> 
> THANK YOU AGAIN EVERYONE.
> 
> KEEP SAFE. LOVE LIFE.
> 
> SEE YOU SOON!
> 
> XOXO,  
> Aya


End file.
